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Tears, mood swings, irritability or depression can occur in a new mother due to the fact that she is tired and does not get enough sleep. But postpartum depression has similar symptoms. And this is a serious disorder that requires monitoring by a specialist. Can we ourselves notice the situation when a woman can no longer do without the help of a doctor?
“I was afraid that I would be considered abnormal”
10 years ago, Maria had her first child. Very soon, she developed symptoms of postpartum depression. It happened quite suddenly, as if something in her brain “switched” into a different mode.
Over time, the symptoms only worsened. “It seemed as if something dark had taken root in my soul and began to grow. I began to have suicidal thoughts that seemed to have a life of their own,” says 47-year-old Maria. Over time, she began to build more and more clear and detailed plans for suicide.
When her son turned 4, Maria realized that she needed specialist help. She turned to a psychiatrist who prescribed complex therapy. After starting the antidepressants prescribed by the doctor, suicidal thoughts disappeared almost immediately.
“Several years have passed – and now I understand that it was just postpartum depression. I was afraid that if I talk about it, they will consider me abnormal, especially since I adore my child, ”admits Maria.
Sadness and anxiety
Up to 80% of young mothers experience a characteristic melancholy within a few weeks after giving birth to one degree or another. They feel sadness and anxiety, often cry. Due to the difference in hormone levels, mood can change dramatically. Chronic lack of sleep and constant chores, familiar to every parent, further exacerbate the situation.
Of course, not all of these women develop true postpartum depression. But those who are still exposed to it often continue to suffer for many more weeks or months. And in half of them, the symptoms persist to some extent even after a year and can worsen over time.
Determining when sadness and fatigue “scream” about a serious disorder is the task of a specialist. Moreover, it is an expert in the field of mental health. Neither the young mother herself, nor relatives, as a rule, are incompetent to draw conclusions about her condition.
Moreover, the lack of education and cliches like “you cry and pass” or “at your age we had no time to whine” only exacerbate the problem. Under the influence of such ideas, loved ones can be blind to what is really happening until a critical moment.
Time to see a psychiatrist
Many women refuse to see doctors or discuss their symptoms for fear of being seen as “bad” mothers.
Paige Bellenbaum, who works at the New York Psychiatric Maternity Support Center, explains: “Physicians know that postpartum anxiety and depression doesn’t always go away on its own without treatment. Over time, its manifestations can worsen, and in some women continue until the next pregnancy.
Obstetricians, gynecologists and pediatricians do not take these disorders seriously enough and do not check new mothers for possible symptoms, despite the recommendations of medical organizations. They are confident that they know their patients well and are able to notice signs of trouble in time. In fact, this is far from the case. Often those who suffer the most are those who are best able to keep an outward calm and cope with all the duties of motherhood.
Mary’s case is one of those. She didn’t say a word to anyone about her depression and suicidal thoughts for years. I was not ready to open up even to close friends. And she no longer saw any way out of this state: “Depression became my secret, as if something else, alien, had grown somewhere deep inside me. I was sure that it would soon go away on its own. I waited and waited. When this did not happen, I convinced myself for a long time that this longing had become a part of me forever and all that was left was to accept it. Fortunately, I found the strength to ask for help and change everything.”