Contents
Hello dear blog readers! Life attitudes are a person’s ideas about himself and the world around him. They determine his life, how happy, harmonious and healthy he is.
Unfortunately, sometimes they are negative and make it difficult to breathe deeply. They do not allow to satisfy the needs, which causes thoughts that they were simply born unlucky.
And today we will look at how you can change the established attitudes in order to make the right decisions that lead to success.
Where do they come from?
We receive life instructions from parents and other significant people. It is their opinions about something that we subconsciously “absorb” like sponges in childhood. Because we trust, our own experience is still lacking due to immaturity, so we have to rely on those who have already received it.
It is in this way that a person’s idea of the world is formed. Which he will subsequently confirm, consolidate with the help of his own trial and error.
To make it clearer, let me give you an example. The little girl grew up in a family where her father allowed himself to drink and beat his mother. She saw how hard it was for her mother, who, reassuring both herself and her daughter, said that all men are like that, so there is no point in parting with him.
Having subconsciously received such knowledge, the girl, becoming a woman, chooses as partners only those who have a weakness for alcohol or problems with aggression.
This knowledge that men cannot be trusted and that they only bring pain is already confirmed by our own experience. Which translates into a life attitude “relationships are dangerous and difficult. You can’t be happy with them.»
And no matter how many times she tries to start a family, each attempt will only confirm negative attitudes. It is difficult to choose a worthy and suitable partner, considering that there are simply no such partners in the world. Or there are only a few of them, but they are already occupied.
This is how beliefs shape our reality. We unconsciously make choices depending on what priorities and values are built into the structure of personality.
Recommendations
Part one
So, take a notepad and write down the answers to the questions about each area below.
Love for yourself
What have you heard from relatives and friends about your appearance? What was your opinion about how you look? What parts of the body do you consider to be your disadvantage and which are your strengths?
Write everything that comes to mind, give in to doubts and try to find explanations you will later. Some nuances may be expelled from memory due to the fact that they caused unpleasant and complex feelings.
Your attitude towards your own body manifests itself in the form of self-love. And if you are unable to accept some of your physical characteristics, strive to be like others, more beautiful, in your opinion, personalities — you reject yourself. And this threatens with a decrease in self-esteem, tightness in the body and the emergence of psychosomatic diseases.
When a person is ashamed of himself, he does not feel freedom. He is constrained and seeks either to hide, or vice versa, to expose dignity, sometimes exaggerating them. Then the most important values for him are appearance.
Because, for example, parents in childhood focused only on her. Causing sometimes thoughts that you can love a person only if he is beautiful. Then, in an effort to find happiness, a person will mock the body with the help of diets, plastic surgeries. Spend all the savings on fashionable clothes and stuff.
If parents, for various reasons, did not admire their child, focusing on his shortcomings, then how can he accept himself as he is, when his nose is crooked, or his legs, his chest is too large, or his stomach sticks out?
Self-concept
What words did significant people say about your personality as a child? How did they rate you? Did they say that they are proud of you, or vice versa, that you only disgrace them, while other children, like children, please their parents?
Have you heard the saying that if a person is called a pig a hundred times, he will really believe in it? It is difficult to doubt the words of loved ones when they are authority figures.
And if mom or dad criticized you for mistakes or thought that you were lazy and would not achieve anything in this life, then how can you believe in yourself and achieve success? Unless, if you decide to do everything in defiance and still prove that you are worthy of respect.
But for this you have to devote your life directly to succeeding in something. And, unfortunately, to lose sight of other areas, experiencing dissatisfaction. For example, to completely surrender to building a career, forgetting about creating a family, rest and in the declining years to find that there is no happiness. Everything is there, but there is no pleasure and joy.
In general, what you’ve been told about your character has a huge impact on your self-esteem and confidence. If you were supported, you will not be afraid of difficulties. If you only did what you criticized, you can make decisions only based on someone else’s opinion, fearing a negative assessment and condemnation at every initiative.
Life credo
List the most beloved and frequently used sayings, proverbs, slogans and mottos by parents. What did they tell you about life in general?
Do you think you repeated their life scenario, or tried to rebel and go against the grain?
The life credo directly depends on what the child saw in his family while growing up. If mom or dad complained that life is hard work, it’s hard enough to enjoy it. After all, you can’t relax, you never know at what point she will arrange a check and decide to punish.
Yes, and when relatives consider money to be evil, they will either have to betray them, becoming bad, but rich, or live from paycheck to paycheck, but calm, which has retained honesty and nobility.
Relationships with the opposite sex
What did your father tell you about the opposite sex? And the mother? What was the opinion of grandparents?
Your personal life directly depends on the messages that you received from them in childhood. Anyone who has engaged in his self-development and has learned to distinguish which thoughts are directly his, and which turned out to be “inspired” by the opinions of other people, will choose just such a partner with whom he will be happy.
Agree, it is difficult to start a family when there is an idea that women only need money, and men need sex. That no one knows how to be faithful and sincerely love.
Part two
Now look at your notes. Based on them, you can determine what priorities and values you have formed during your life. Which ones get in the way and make you unhappy? Highlight them or write them out on a separate sheet. You will work directly with them.
The task is to transform them into positive ones, in a sense creating affirmations that you will repeat to yourself at every opportunity. The main thing is to avoid using the “not” part, otherwise the efforts will be in vain.
I will give examples to make it clearer:
- Whatever I undertake, I can’t succeed — I succeed in fulfilling my plan.
- Money can’t bring happiness — I get to earn money and be happy at the same time.
Learn more about what affirmations are and how to use them by clicking on this link.
Completion
And finally, I want to recommend an article that will help you consider your priorities. It contains a list of values that every person should pay attention to if they want to be healthy and feel harmony in life.
Take care of yourself and be happy!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina