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A feeling of emptiness and depression, longing and lack of purpose… This happens to us, unfortunately, in the most difficult times, when we need composure and determination.
We need composure and determination, but even getting out of bed in the morning can be difficult. Friends and family are not happy. And everything in the world seems either unattainable or unnecessary. How to change it?
Create a purpose in life
Life changes completely if it has meaning and purpose.
The founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, believed that our behavior depends on our sexual desires. The Austrian psychotherapist Viktor Frankl, the founder of existentialism, proposed a different theory. He called his approach logotherapy. Frankl considered meaning to be the most important driving force in our lives.
Frankl’s experience was different from Freud’s. In the 40s, Frankl was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp. He had to see a lot of death and suffering around him. He felt terrified and lost loved ones. And yet he survived. What helped him? The fact that he found meaning in the struggle, and this gave him the strength to go through all the trials.
In his book, where he describes everything he experienced, he quotes Friedrich Nietzsche: “A person can bear any “how” if he knows the “why””. Such is the power of purpose. The goal gives us the strength to endure trials, harsh living conditions, any difficulties.
Two levels of goals
Luckily for us, we are not in the same situation as Frankl. Therefore, in our practical life, we can distinguish two types of goals. Let’s call them conditionally goals of the first and second levels.
The first is initial, initial. The second one is larger. Level XNUMX Goals: Know your value system and act on it. When we know what we believe in, what values we stand for, and do what we believe in, then our self-esteem and self-confidence grow, no matter how difficult the current situation is for us.
Second level goals are different. They do not refer to the current situation, but to the picture of life as a whole. This is our search for meaning, direction. This feeling that we are on the right track. And it helps us get up in the morning refreshed and full of energy.
Give rather than take
We all want a good life for ourselves. But success and happiness as a life goal are contrary to common sense. “Don’t call success your goal,” writes Viktor Frankl. The more persistently you consider it a goal, the more chances you have of not achieving it. Success, like happiness, cannot be created by us, it happens by itself, it is an unplanned by-product of a person being more devoted to his work or to another person than to himself.
Do we want to be loved? Let’s love others! Do we want more money? Let’s help others make money! Want more joy and pleasure? Let’s bring joy to others.
It sounds simple, but the more we give away—especially if we do it with joy—the more pleasure we have in our own lives.
Three terms “I”
Make three lists:
- My values
- My strengths
- My aspirations
Give it time and attention. Don’t let your thoughts wander. After you finish this work, you will feel in which direction you are going.
Put it all in the service of a cause, a person, a society or an organization – something bigger than yourself. Then your life will have meaning, and you will have purpose.
The practical side of life
Only 10% of happiness comes to us from external sources, such as money, fame, position in society, writes positive psychologist Sonya Lubomirsky in her book The Psychology of Happiness.
Perhaps you are willing to sacrifice some amount in order to do the work that you like best.
You will need a simple financial formula: your income must be greater than your expenses. That’s the whole secret. If you can cut costs by forgoing non-essential needs (perhaps a car, cable TV, some delicacies, or shopping for fun), you can spend that money on things that you need more.
And if you thought that for this you would have to change your lifestyle – perhaps a change in lifestyle is what you need to live a meaningful life.