At what age can a child be introduced to money? What is the best way to do it? What to do if the offspring wants to earn money, but is too small? Is it possible to give money for good grades and how does payment differ from a reward? The psychodramatherapist, child analytical psychologist Larisa Mogunova helps to deal with these and other questions.
The world of money and everything connected with it attracts children even at preschool age: they play in a store or cafe, act out family scenes, exchange their wealth — stickers, figurines … Since financial issues are a significant part of life, acquaintance with them happens involuntarily .
Attitudes towards money in the family
Children feel how money is treated in the family. For example, mom and dad plan a budget, allocate expenses, set priorities — all this forms an attitude towards money as a resource that is depleted, but replenished.
It also happens differently. Parents fight over money, which means that finances become the territory of a struggle for power or for love. The child reads this relationship unconsciously, and he gets the feeling that money is something valuable. Something that can serve as a source of anxiety, and sometimes fear for the future.
If the parent reproaches the offspring that he is costing him too much, the child may feel guilty. And then money turns into something bad, something that is painful to think about. The perception of money can be influenced by the attitude in the family not only to finances, but to any resources — attention, love, time, help.
Receiving all this from parents in sufficient volume, the child will continue to feel the richness and fullness of the world. If his feelings and ideas are important to those close to him, then he has an awareness of his own value, the ability to be creative and work, and therefore to receive decent pay in the future.
How to learn to handle money
Acquaintance with money and the very understanding of the exchange of goods and services for money is possible only when the child’s thinking matures. When correlation functions (the amount of money and the amount of goods) and initial abstraction (money as the equivalent of something), as well as counting skills, are formed. This usually happens in elementary school, but it all depends on the individual child.
There are fairly simple ways to learn how to handle money. For example, a child is sent to the store with instructions to buy something. Or they allow you to manage your pocket money at school and on a walk. In this way, children learn at ease the processes of paying, receiving change, distributing their supplies.
If necessary, the parent can act as a mentor, teacher or just a senior friend who is ready to share his experience. The experience of the children themselves can be very diverse. Here the child spent everything at once. Or vice versa: saved up, saved up and acquired something that he had long wanted.
In addition to useful experience, these situations also generate an emotional response. The child faces the consequences of his choice and forms his own strategies, which may differ from those of the parents. At such moments, I would recommend that parents give their child a try to live through different options, and not rigidly impose their own view of things. The position of a coach or trainer is better suited here.
In addition, there are special games such as «Monopoly», where children get acquainted with the different functions of money and train their skills, for example, in the field of investment or banking.
If a child wants to earn money on his own, but is too small for this, then what could his parents pay him for? This issue in each family is solved in its own way. All families are different: somewhere it is considered quite natural if the child is paid for something, but somewhere not.
The parent shows his positive feelings, and the money serves as an addition, not the center of the situation
With teenagers, in this sense, it is easier than with kids: they already have certain skills and abilities that you can pay for. Someone makes translations, someone is engaged in tutoring, someone programs, someone carpentry, someone is able to perform simpler functions — a courier or an advertising distributor.
If the child is small, then it is more like a game, a special arrangement. It’s great if a parent can entrust a child with some simple function in their work: for example, put the leaves into files, cut the strings, put the pencils in the boxes, wipe the dust or help in the garden.
Another option is an additional task that is not included in the daily or usual duties of the child. For example, one of my acquaintances, a ten-year-old boy, was assigned to clean his grandmother’s apartment. Mom was faced with a choice: hire an assistant or entrust the work to her son. As a result, the child agreed and thus was able to earn.
Of course, this scheme does not suit everyone. It is important for someone that in the family the child learns to help each other and gets acquainted with such concepts as responsibility and a sense of duty.
What to pay for children
Faced with the desire of a small child to earn money, parents can, for example, play with him at work or go to KidZania, Kidburg and other cities of professions, where children gain experience in working and earning money.
Some parents give cash gifts or add to their child’s piggy bank because they have the opportunity and the mood. But this is more like a desire to encourage or a selfless contribution.
Small children cannot earn money themselves — this is a given of modern society. Faced with limitations, the child realizes that he is not equal to the adult. But when he gets a job (for example, already in his teens), he receives the privileges of adulthood, which are so important for teenagers.
As for paying for grades, in my opinion, this is an ambiguous practice. It changes the meaning of the assessment, knocks down the internal motivation to study for the external one — getting paid. In a sense, the assessment is the motivational factor, because it indicates the level of work done.
Most often I come across a situation where a child loses motivation due to problems with a teacher, for example, and he is paid to have an incentive to study again. Or he has problems with peers. In such cases, parents, not knowing what else to do, stimulate the child with money.
In order not to aggravate the situation, it is better to figure out together what is the cause of the problems and work with it, and not pay for the fact that the child will hush up the problem. Sometimes, as a reward for a good quarter or a year, parents fulfill an old dream or wish of their children, but this is already the “icing on the cake” — a special sign of pride, recognition and parental joy. Why not?
This is the difference between promotion and payment. The parent shows his positive feelings, and the money is complementary, not the center of the situation. But if this is a system of regular payments, then it emotionally devastates both parents and the child.