Contents
How to deliver bad news and do it in the best possible way
Psychology
It is not so much what is communicated but how the news is sustained and how the emotions that may arise with said information are collected and validated
How to communicate what is happening is always key, but if we are at a time where society has been immersed, for months, in a global pandemic, the importance is much greater.
How many times have you found yourself in the position of having to communicate something that you are quite afraid to say? We started to think what will be the ideal moment, whether to go straight to the key message or take the odd turn before our mouth spits out the most important words…. In short, when bad news is to be communicated we are in a somewhat complicated situation, since the connotation of “bad” already gives rise to thinking about how the other person can take it, how it is better to do it, what to say and not…
And although there is no manual so that bad news is given in a good way and will change the final result, it is important to take care of some details that they will make us not damage excessively; It is not so much what is communicated but how the news is sustained and how the emotions that may arise with said information are collected and validated.
Patricia Fernández (@lapsiquedepatri), general health psychologist, specialist in forensic and child and adolescent issues, states that on many occasions it seems that we avoid telling “bad news”, we postpone it and look for an ideal moment to do so, trying camouflage and embellish the newsThis being an error: “All people have the right to be informed and to know the truth of situations, especially when they are complicated.”
Knowing and communicating that truth does not have to do with not being tactful, direct or too abrupt in your communication, but neither has to do with putting makeup on it and that, finally, even with a good objective of not hurting the other person, a message is shown ambiguous, diffuse and in which more interpretations can enter.
«To be able to communicate bad news with the greatest veracity, it is necessary to ask ourselves what the main message is that has to be clear. Once we know that this information has to be given yes or yes, we can think about the speech that we are going to give », the psychologist warns. And in that speech, as it states, it is important show the most emotional and affective part, “Empathizing with the person who is receiving the news and giving a place to questions or doubts that they may have, even if due to the shock they do not have them, to be able to facilitate that space later, at another time, after assimilation”.
Expert tips
The psychologist Patricia Fernández exposes some of the tricks to give a news in the best possible way:
— Tell the truth. A lie hurts more if the truth comes out. Identify the message that you have to give and be clear about the information that you do or do have to convey.
— Pause the rush. It is not so much to look for an ideal moment (because each person has our circumstances) but to pause those rush. Do it when you really have time to later hold the person’s emotions, clarify doubts or reformulate.
— Valid. Validate how the person feels. Don’t deny their rage, anger, or sadness. Pick up on their emotions and understand their regret. Empathize and let him know that you understand how painful his situation is or the impact the news has on him.
— Clarify doubts or make yourself available in case you can have them later. Guidance on how you can continue after that news and encourages towards a ray of light.
— Show your human and affective side. Who breaks the news is a person and not a machine. Make that show.