Contents
Everything changes, including the standards of human behavior. Nowadays, it is impossible to modestly keep silent aside and get the best positions, acquaintances and privileges. In this article, I will explain what shyness is and how to deal with it.
Basic Concepts
Shyness, modesty, shyness are qualities that we used to consider as positive aspects of a person, but this is not entirely true. A well-mannered and a humble person are two different forms of behavior. An educated person keeps silent only when it is really inappropriate to speak, that is, it is logical or moral and ethical reasons that will act as a distinctive feature. While shyness in itself acts as a limiter for us. Signs are: stiffness, tightness, sweating, feeling as if the tongue is stuck to the palate.
Shyness in any form prevents you from being yourself. Fully human It opens up only when it feels at ease.
Stefan Zweig
Types
There are two types of shyness, the first is when a person is shy in society, the second is when he experiences this feeling in front of himself. In the first case, we experience sensations that dictate a certain model of behavior to us, which in turn affects both our opinion of ourselves and the opinion of others about us. Simply put, we mislead ourselves and other people with our behavior, which is based on our discomfort.
Why are we misleading? Because we can speak, offer, and move. But our false attitudes give rise to false actions and, accordingly, similar opinions.
In the second case, a person who suppresses shyness in himself and tries to impersonate a confident person expends a lot of energy, which negatively affects his emotional background.
In two cases, shyness does not lead to anything good. We miss opportunities by giving in to our fears and concerns, or we overexert ourselves in an effort to show that we feel confident. Unfortunately, we have a very limited amount of time allotted to us and sometimes shy hitches are very expensive.
By the way, I have a new shyness test on my blog. If you’re wondering how shy you are, you can take it. According to its results, you will be given recommendations.
Ways to overcome
Method # 1
Find the reasons for your embarrassment. Is that how you were brought up, or were you born that way? Is there any reason for your shy behavior? Understand yourself to understand how to get rid of destructive thinking. What exactly motivates you to do this and not otherwise? What is your idea of yourself or the opinion of others? What is your presentation based on? If on experience, then think that we are lucky, we can change the model of behavior. If on guesswork, we can also change our thinking. And the opinion of others was voiced? Or is that just pure speculation? And if it was announced, then by whom? Does this person have an adequate picture of the world?
Answer these questions for yourself in order to understand what exactly you need to work with.
Method # 2
When we have dealt with the reasons, let’s take advantage of them. If you are embarrassed to speak, express your opinion, or simply enter into a dialogue because of your shortcomings, transform them into virtues and work on them. Take a piece of paper and write down all the qualities that, in your opinion, prevent you from establishing communication with the outside world.
Method number 3 By pronouncing these affirmations in a confident voice, after a while you will definitely believe in it. And no matter what to be unfounded in front of ourselves, let’s move on to the next method
Work on yourself. Think about what skills will be useful to you right now? What about in five years? Let’s go back to our transformation. Voice, you can work on it both at home and by attending vocal, technical speech or public speaking courses. Is this skill useful to us now? Undoubtedly. And in five years? Of course. Any audience is drawn to people with a pleasant confident voice. Are you afraid that you have nothing to talk about? Read books, develop your vocabulary, explore new areas for you. It’s always interesting with passionate people.
Method # 4
Think about how many people around you are surrounded by their worries and problems. Why is your idea of yourself more critical than theirs? Or do you think they really want to make fun of you? Believe me, only people with a very bad mood are capable of this. What should happen to you so that simply, without any reason, they start laughing and mocking a person?
Method # 5
Get in touch every day. Say good day to your neighbor, greet the person from the next office. Ask for a presentation. Only after three months of not very successful meetings, I can talk to almost everyone without hesitation. Practice, polish your skills.
Method # 6
Ask people whose opinion is really important to you to give you feedback. If you’re shy, you don’t see the positives in yourself, but you also have a distorted view of the negatives. To understand how things really are, ask someone close to give you time and work with facts, not your imagination.
Method # 7
Play. Imagine that you are an actor, and according to your scenario, you need to talk to a stranger. And if you are an actor, of course you have rehearsed a lot and have a lot of experience in these kinds of scenes. It’s worth nothing to you. Later, analyze your actions. What worked, what didn’t, how you can improve the result.
Method # 8
Smile. A sincere smile is disarming, it is difficult to show negativity towards a friendly person. Remind yourself more often that you have more reasons to be happy than you can imagine. No one is interested in listening to a person with a sour expression, so why doom the people around you to contemplate your sadness? Smile, be sincere and others will feel it.
Conclusion
And finally, if you took at least one of my tips and it really helped you, or vice versa, not a single recommendation suited you — write about it in the comments, I will be very pleased to receive any feedback from you.
Be open. See you soon.