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There are more and more haters on social networks, the number of negative comments and statements is increasing every day. How not to succumb to impulse and not respond to anger with anger? Psychologists say.
The Internet is now full of all sorts of information. People unite in groups, actively express their opinion in comments, messages, and even in person. The most difficult thing in this information «porridge» is not to lose peace of mind and peace of mind.
We have often come across posts with harsh statements before, scrolling through the Instagram feed (an extremist organization banned in Russia) or Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia), but recently their number has been growing exponentially. And every day it becomes more and more difficult to scroll through a post you don’t like. How to do it? How not to succumb to emotions and not go into retaliatory aggression?
Why is there so much aggression around?
Hearing the stinging statements of other people, we want to respond to them in the same way. But it is more important at this moment to understand what lies behind such behavior.
Psychologist Marina Gladysheva explains it this way: “Anxiety and aggression come from security breaches. No matter who has which side, the essence is the same for everyone and it is deeper than anything that we see on the surface. If a person is aggressive, something irritates him — this is a defense mechanism, because, in fact, inside he is scared.
If we accept this fact, then the whole picture will immediately change. It turns out that the stranger who wrote you an angry comment under the photo is not at all angry, but a frightened person.
But what are we to do anyway?
1. Arrange an information detox
Psychologist Andrei Zberovsky believes that limiting the flow of information can help in such a situation. “Don’t stuff yourself with information that you don’t feel comfortable with. In psychology this is called doomscrollingwhen a person himself “combs” his psychological state to the point of pain.
According to him, our desire to receive more and more information, even despite internal discomfort, is explained by a natural instinct. We are set up so that if we see a source of stress, we must carefully observe it. That’s what animals do, but they don’t have any other options.
The deer must look at the wolf that is running at him, he cannot turn away, otherwise he will be eaten. But a person can “turn away”. We must isolate ourselves from those sources of information that do not fit into our picture of the world.
2. Work with your own settings
However, the first option is not suitable for everyone — someone is not ready to ignore the news and go into the information gate. How then to deal with aggression?
“The technique that can deal with this is the GSR method (method of working with your unconscious and conscious attitudes). Simply closing the Internet tab is not very effective, because the person is already experiencing aggression inside. This is a kind of feeling with which he will live on, ”says Marina Gladysheva.
According to the psychologist, any clue for external events, for an external trigger will cause a feeling of anger. Accordingly, a person will permanently live in it, accumulate it, and it will become more and more, which can even lead to health problems. You need to work with the installation in your head.
3. Go in for sports
Andrey Zberovsky advises another way to deal with his anger: “At critical moments for myself, I recommend everyone to go in for sports: push-ups, squats. Because by bringing your body to pain, to sweat, you will allow adrenaline and cortisol (the stress hormone) to leave your body. They are only removed by action. We cannot remove the negative from ourselves with just experiences and comprehension.”
If something starts to annoy us, we should go in for sports or at least go for a walk around the house. If we sit in a chair or lie on a bed, we will only continue to suffer.
So, after reading some negative comment, we can go to the gym, or we can throw the phone aside and not go online for several hours. You can choose any suitable method. The most important thing is to remember that most often people who aggressively express their position are trying to find support, prove to another that they are right and, perhaps, even convince themselves of it.
Marina Gladysheva speaks about this: “The whole point is in the world situation, which causes fear. People are trying to balance themselves somehow. Even if they are aggressive towards others, they try to live out their inner experiences.”