Have you ever watched the scene of a violent quarrel or listened to the cries of the boss? People who are prone to outbursts of anger are ready to explode at the slightest provocation. How do you stay calm when faced with this kind of behavior?
Lack of self-control can manifest itself in any situation, sometimes quite unexpectedly for others. Being around such people is uncomfortable, sometimes awkward. Those prone to outbursts of anger can be aggressive all the time, or they can explode only occasionally. This is how they react when they feel discomfort or stress. They do not know how to adequately respond to stressful situations and blow off steam in a healthier way.
The quick-tempered behave in a pattern – a fit of rage, followed by relief. Some regret their outbursts. Others do not feel remorse and do not feel sympathy for those who fell under their hot hand.
Outbursts of anger indicate emotional instability, and sometimes problems with the psyche.
The ability to control one’s impulsivity is the most important psychological skill for any person.
Both children and adults are allowed to “break loose” from time to time. However, if “relapses” become the rule, not the exception, and others suffer from them, it is obvious that this is a problem that needs to be addressed. Perhaps the reason is emotional trauma, the inability to express oneself, or a biochemical imbalance. In such cases, it is worth contacting a psychotherapist.
Children with this behavior are diagnosed with a behavioral disorder and problems with self-control.
Self-control allows us to make informed decisions, build strong relationships, and be able to wait. According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, “The most important psychological skill for any person is the ability to control their impulsiveness. Without this, no control over emotions is possible, since all emotions, by their nature, eventually lead to an impulsive desire to perform some kind of action. From adults, we expect the ability to manage their emotions.
The cause of outbursts of rage may be experienced psycho-emotional trauma, inability to express oneself, or biochemical imbalance.
We cannot control someone else’s behavior or change another person, but we can be responsible for the choice of circle of communication, our words and actions.
If you yourself are prone to irascibility, find a person with whom you can discuss this problem and sort it out,which provokes anger. Look for a peaceful way to resolve conflicts. Remember that calmness and composure are important for health.
How to keep cool and not break into a scream yourself?
1. If someone is lashing out at you, set clear boundaries for what is permitted, or as a last resort, leave. You have the right to be protected and feel safe.
2. Seek support from loved ones, friends, or a psychologist.
3. To keep your cool, imagine yourself as an outsider. Emotionally distance yourself from what is happening and remain neutral.
4. Find a healthy way to de-stress after yourself.
5. Try to surround yourself with people who can control their emotions and impulses.
About expert
Author: Nina Sidell, psychotherapist and coach. Her website:.