How to deal with internal problems

​​​​​​​The client came to the psychologist with his own problem… Possessing a variety of tools, the psychologist must understand what a particular client needs in this case.

Work with emotions? Suggest a job with the body? Work with beliefs? Or maybe more relevant work with behavior? Working with images? Dealing with a troubled past? Work with life meanings? Something else?

This or that direction of work of a psychologist-consultant is determined by the request of the client, but not only by him. Firstly, often there is no client’s request as such, vague complaints are voiced, and secondly, the girl herself may not understand the essence of her problem and, in fact, tell the consultant what her mother or friend told her about her problems.

After listening to the client’s request, the task of the consultant is to look at all the possible causes of the problems, and for this he must have such a list.

Like a doctor: if a client complains about skin problems, you need to do a lot of tests in a variety of ways, but very well known to the doctor. If a patient at the doctor complains of pain in the abdomen, the doctor may have many assumptions: it may be an unusual diet for him, and appendicitis, and cancer, and problems with the gallbladder and liver. Maybe this client simply ate too much, or maybe he has yersiniosis or something else extremely rare. So that doctors are not in a hurry to cut out appendicitis where the patient has elementary indigestion, they have recommendations on the sequence of assumptions for the causes of certain problems.

Psychologists-consultants should have the same recommendations on the sequence of work with clients’ problems, at least so that they do not create deep psychological problems where they simply do not exist.

From the client’s story: he turned to a skin doctor, he superficially examined him and said that it was all from the nerves. Also has recommended to address concerning a psychosomatics to the psychotherapist. The client, however, turned to a more professional specialist, he did tests, prescribed simple pills to restore the intestinal flora, and everything went away in a week.

It is not necessary to look for the root causes of problems until more elementary assumptions are tested. Working with internal problems of clients, it is recommended to follow the following order, the following sequence of work with problems:

• Obvious causes of problems are difficulties and problems that are visible to the naked eye and solved at the level of common sense. If a girl is lonely because she just sits at home and does not go anywhere, first of all, she should be advised to expand her social circle.
• Probable causes of problems — non-obvious, but probable causes of the client’s difficulties, which have signs observable for a specialist. The girl cannot establish a social circle, because she has a bazaar style of communication and pronounced resentment.
• Root causes of a problem are assumptions about the causes of a client’s problems that have no observable indications. The cause of the girl’s loneliness can be assumed to be her childhood psychological trauma, and problems in the family memory of her family, and the crown of celibacy, and the neighbor’s curse.

If the client states any obvious problem, you should work directly with it first.

If a guy does not know how to get acquainted on the street, the first steps should be elementary — ask if he wants to learn, and if so, advise how and where to do it better. If a person is afraid of flying on airplanes, it is probably worth working with his fear of flying in the first place, and not asking him about the events of his difficult childhood. Elementary desensitization can remove fears in half an hour, and if the issue is resolved, it is resolved.

Obvious causes of problems can often be solved in obvious ways, for an experienced consultant — at the level of common sense. Only if this was not enough, the consultant should move to the level of hidden causes of problems, starting with the most probable ones, and only if all possibilities have been exhausted, can one dive into deep problems. It must be remembered that deep problems are an area of ​​the unprovable, where full scope is opened for both creativity and charlatanism.

The psychologist or therapist who proposes in-depth work that has no scientific credibility must ask himself: What are the long-term consequences of such work, how will this type of psychotherapy respond? Believing in evil eye and bad omens? A habit of relying on luck? A tendency to shift responsibility onto your unconscious? And a little something — to refer to the ancestral memory, instead of thinking for yourself? It seems that this kind of ethical considerations and checking for environmental friendliness is mandatory for a professional psychologist.

Professional work is consistent and follows the principle of simplicity. Professionally, start with common sense, with the definition of something elementary, typical, obvious, and only if the solution at the level of common sense does not work, you should look for something more hidden and deep. When this problem-solving sequencing rule is violated, it is said to be unprofessional.

The work of a psychologist with hidden internal problems

The situation is more complicated when obvious problems are not directly solved, and there is an assumption that behind them there are other, hidden psychological problems.

It is always necessary to take into account the situation when there is a hidden problem, but it is not of a psychological nature. Discord in the family can hide psychiatry, age-related changes, and social circumstances.

How it might look in practice

Treason

Suppose a woman decides what to do in a situation where her husband is cheating on her. After a simple analysis, it turns out that their family life has been twelve years old, they have two children, her husband loves her, she loves him too, betrayal was more of an accident. Having calmed down, she understands everything with her head — it’s not worth getting divorced in this situation, it would be more correct to remove insults and improve relations, but her soul hurts and she wants to punish her husband. This is where we get to the hidden issues.

See if there are problematic speakers here? Do you need to work with a problematic body? How constructive is the thinking of a woman, is it possible to rebuild it in a more positive and constructive way? Are there problematic and limiting beliefs that hinder constructive thinking? What about a woman’s self-esteem, how does she feel, is it possible and necessary to change her image of herself? And by the way, how many nights has she not slept — maybe she needs to sleep first?

Slouch

The girl stoops, although there are no medical reasons for this. The obvious reason is that the girl does not take care of herself. Probable — cowardly to be bright and the first. The consultant didn’t, instead the therapist went down the path of digging into the unlikely root causes: «it’s all about holding back and inhibiting your emotions» … ↑

Fear of communication

The fear of communication in an adequate person can be easily removed by a combination of the following methods: desensitization, the practice of non-standard actions and training in effective communication (there are a lot of training centers). But this needs to be done, this needs to be learned. If a person is not ready to study and practice, or it still doesn’t help (anything happens) — yes, then it’s adequate to address more hidden and deeper problems.