How to Deal with Coworkers Who Talk Too Much

We have all tried to make subtle hints and refer to pressing matters. Some even keep typing when an overly sociable colleague walks up to their desk. Alas, these tactics rarely work.

What’s more, researchers recently tested the classic technique of avoiding eye contact. The subjects interacted with two actors: one maintained eye contact with them, the second did not. It turned out that the fact that the interlocutor did not look into the eyes did not affect the course of the conversation, and the subject communicated more with the actor who spoke less. What to do? Here are five tips to use as your accounting colleague begins sharing divorce details for the ninth time.

1. Say it out loud

We are more accustomed to using non-verbal cues to let us know that we are not in the mood for a conversation, but overly sociable colleagues simply do not pay attention to such trifles. If you understand that an employee is rolling his office chair towards you with the firm intention of sharing his thoughts on patriotism and the monologue will take at least half an hour, you need to nip the situation in the bud.

How to do it? Choose the right tone: calm, not apologetic. Say you’re busy, can’t talk, or have a deadline in the same tone you’d ask what time it is. Phrases can be:

• “Oh, that’s interesting, but today I have to stick to the schedule. See you later, okay?”
• “I have a small blockage here, a moratorium on conversations until 15:00, we’ll talk after.”
• “It’s good to see you, but it’s terribly busy right now – can you come back later?”

To some, this seems wrong and even rude. But know that many talkers realize that they did not want to say anything important, and therefore do not take offense when they are stopped. Their chatter will take as long as we allow, so everything is in our hands.

It happens that the speaker is perfectly aware that he is wasting your time, and this gives him a sense of control and his own importance. Feeling the power, he returns for the “additive” again and again. When you set boundaries, such a person does not get angry – he just looks for another “victim”, and he begins to respect you more. Of course, it all depends on the specific interlocutor, it’s not worth chasing away the boss who has come in to distract you over trifles.

Interrupting conversations and setting boundaries is difficult, especially if you haven’t had this practice before. But consider it an experiment, try it and see what happens. After all, the alternative is already known: minutes of tedious waiting until the monologue ends.

2. Set a Time Frame

Of course, communication with colleagues is an important part of working life, but you should not do it solely on their schedule. Immediately indicate time restrictions or say when you are free:

• “I have an urgent task, so I can only spare two minutes.”
• “I’m just finishing something – could you come back in half an hour?”

It is best to communicate such messages orally, but if corporate culture allows, a humorous sign can be placed on the table or on the back of the chair.

3. Be prepared for resistance

Each team has its own rules, open and unspoken, roles, jokes. When you try to change the culture, people will fight back, trying to keep things as they are, which brings us to our next piece of advice.

4. Be consistent

Despite the traditions, the rules can change, for this to happen, you need consistency, especially at the beginning. When setting boundaries, it can be tempting to succumb “just this time.” But think twice before doing this. Imagine a bus stop. If you know for sure that the bus arrives every 10 minutes, then, if you are late for the appointed time, you will leave to catch a taxi. If the bus is late from time to time, but eventually shows up, you will be waiting for a long time, perhaps even 20 or 30 minutes.

Another example: if experimental rats receive rewards periodically, not on schedule, they will press the levers to the last, while their comrades, accustomed to discipline, will long go about their business.

Of course, we are not rats, but the same principle works with setting boundaries. If you remind your colleagues every time that it is better not to approach you with idle talk before lunch, they will learn this faster than if you sometimes make exceptions.

5. Enlist the support of superiors

It happens that we just want to conscientiously do the work, and the management writes off such behavior as our lack of team spirit, and considers us to be asocial.

If you find yourself in this situation, ask for a meeting with your boss to explain your position. You want the meeting to be about productivity and end results. Don’t complain about office culture and don’t pour your heart out. Explain your point of view, emphasizing the loss of productivity and loss of money for the company. Who knows, maybe as a result of the conversation you will get an isolated workplace, such as an office, or the opportunity to work remotely for a day or two a week.

Source: Quick and Dirty Tips.