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They keep us awake at night and put us in a stupor during the day, sudden, like a bolt from the blue. Unpleasant thoughts are sometimes more terrible than the events that caused them — they are extremely difficult to get rid of. Some people spend several hours a day on them. What can be opposed to bad thoughts?
It turns out that there are a number of methods that will help block the appearance of bad thoughts or deal with them if they have already come. These are the methods offered by the American psychologist Daniel Wegner, who has devoted decades of his life to the problem.
1. Switch
Don’t try not to think of a white monkey — think of a black one instead. Better yet, a purple flamingo. Try to switch your mind to some other subject that you also like to think about very much, but which at the same time has positive connotations.
Get yourself a few “continued” thoughts that raise more and more questions and the need for answers to them — which means they are drawn into a completely different stream of thoughts. Is it true that Brad Pitt has silicone muscles? I read about it somewhere. But if so, how does he use them? After all, silicone is not able to contract like real muscles — or is there some way to make it do this?
The more you shake up your emotions, the weaker the brain is before the «alien invasion» of uninvited thoughts.
And there is also a conspiracy theory according to which our Earth is really flat, and only a group of evil scientists have been convincing us for several centuries that it is spherical. Wait, what about satellite images and records from space? And they are falsified by the same scientists. But what about the poles? There is only one pole — the North one, it is in the center of the Earth, which is flat as a disk, and along the edges of the disk there are glaciers that scientists pass off as Antarctica.
And so on — soon the seething stream of this nonsense will take you in a completely new direction.
2. Avoid stress
Some people believe that a strong impression will help them cope with intrusive thoughts — for example, a scandal with neighbors or a naked run through a winter city at night. However, studies show that the more you give your emotions a shake-up, the weaker the brain is before the “alien invasion” of uninvited thoughts. On the contrary, try to calm down and rest — the more strength you have and the better your brain is, the more chances you have to repel an attack.
3. Set aside bad thoughts
Agree with an obsessive thought — you will definitely pay attention to it, but only later. Include in your daily schedule «half an hour for painful thoughts» — but not before bedtime, but, for example, at the height of the working day. Thinking about what is oppressing you during your lunch break will quickly distract you from problems, plunging back into work.
Sooner or later, the subconscious mind will get used to the fact that obsessive thoughts have their own time with strictly defined limits, and will stop pestering you at other hours. Now you can think about how to exterminate annoying thoughts at this time.
4. Focus on the obsession
Once upon a time, a patient came to the great physician Abu Ali ibn Sina, who complained that his eyelid was twitching. Ibn Sina prescribed him an extremely dubious remedy: every hour to begin to blink on purpose with an obstinate eyelid. The patient chuckled, but promised to strictly follow the prescribed.
Meditation is a great way to organize your mind by bringing your thoughts under control.
A few days later he came to thank the doctor. Like the remedy prescribed by Ibn Sina, this method works on the principle of «by the contrary»: when an obsessive thought comes to you, try to force yourself to think it over from all sides, turn it this way and that, make yourself afraid that it will slip away from you — and you will soon feel that her grip is weakening and she herself would be glad to escape from you.
5. Recognize the inevitability of a bad thought
Another way, somewhat similar to the previous one, is to replace the fear of the appearance of an indestructible thought with complete indifference to it. Learn to think of it as something external: for example, if it is the thought that a loved one left you, get used to the idea that this thought has nothing to do with him (or her), but exists on its own: here now I will go to bed, and my number one Thought will come to me again.
Accustom yourself to the fact that this thought does not develop and does not tell you anything new — it just comes and goes, as twelve o’clock at night or winter come and go. And very soon you will feel that she is really leaving.
6. Meditate
Meditation is a great way to organize your mind, bringing your thoughts under control. Practice it daily, trying to achieve a state of complete thoughtlessness. This is not easy, but if you learn how to do it, you will be able to induce this state at will, including it at the time of the day when you are most prone to bad thoughts, or in the situation when you become most defenseless against them.
Obsessive thoughts are especially fond of people who have neither a major lifelong goal nor an interesting hobby.
If a bad thought is not positively reinforced in the form of your willingness to devote your brain resources to it, it begins to wane—and soon fades away.
7. Think about your goals
How is a bad thought different from gas? Gas, as we know from a physics textbook, occupies the entire volume provided, and a bad thought is not yet provided … It teaches us to concentrate on it, forgetting that there is so much good in the world that it is much more pleasant to think about.
Obsessive thoughts are especially fond of people who have neither a major lifelong goal nor an interesting hobby. Take yourself out of the state of sad thoughts, thinking about the path to success, about what will bring you satisfaction. If you make an effort, gradually you will be able to accustom yourself to positive dreams.