It is known that no one is perfect, but it is with our own shortcomings, especially physical ones, that we often find it most difficult to put up with. How to stop obsessing over them?
Physical defects, real or imaginary, which we cannot accept in ourselves, can be the cause of painful timidity, shame, nervousness, feelings of inferiority. Some of us even feel rejected. But if right now we are experiencing these unpleasant emotions, this does not mean at all that we are forever sentenced to an inferiority complex.
Everyone has flaws. It’s true. Whether we realize it or not, we are all far from perfect. But the problem is not in this, but in the fact that we ourselves invent flaws for ourselves. In most cases, it is in our subjective perception of ourselves.
It is the belief in our own imperfection that determines our behavior and attitude towards our real or imagined flaw. This is a life-long relationship, and therefore it is so important to develop the right attitude towards your “flaw”.
If we fail to come to terms with our difference from the conventional norm, an inferiority complex is formed.
Our imperfections can be divided into three categories:
- physical: “unsuccessful” physique, non-standard height, inconsistency with gender stereotypes prevailing in society;
- mental: not too high intelligence;
- social: lack of charisma, inability to communicate.
If we fail to come to terms with our difference from the conventional norm, an inferiority complex is formed. We withdraw into ourselves, become timid, indecisive, which, in turn, leads to low social activity.
The famous psychotherapist Alfred Adler spent a lot of time studying this problem. He developed an approach based on a system of psychological compensation. If a person feels insignificant, he has a feeling of humility and fatalism. Such a person is usually painfully shy, insecure, passive. But it is in his power not to take a defeatist line of behavior, but instead follow the path of psychological compensation.
Enjoy life despite your own shortcomings
Here are some tips to help you deal with negative self-esteem:
1. Clearly define and separate your “non-standard”. Let’s say you have a “terrible nose”, but the rest of your facial features are quite harmonious!
2. Learn to remember and appreciate your virtues. For example, if you are short, you have a great figure. Or the hands are too large, but the lips are very beautifully shaped. Emphasize what you are proud of, trying not to pay attention to the flaw. This does not mean that its presence should be denied: simply, by not giving it the energy of your attention, you make it less noticeable and significant.
3. Skillfully use clothing, shoes, accessories, makeupto emphasize the advantages and distract from the shortcomings.
4. If you feel that you can’t do without it, you can resort to the possibilities of aesthetic medicine or the help of a specialist (for example, a nutritionist).
5. Learn to choose the right compensation. Is your physical condition preventing you from exercising? Pick up a musical instrument or devote more time to reading.
6. Remember: looks aren’t everything. Man is a unity of body and soul.
Do not chase an unattainable ideal. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to live “in an embrace” with your shortcoming.
If you feel that you can’t think about anything but your own lack and are about to acquire an inferiority complex, you should contact a specialist. It will become your guide in the world of solutions – and, believe me, there are a lot of them.
Source: https://nospensees.fr/