How to cure anorexia?

Anorexia is the scourge of today. But, unfortunately, in our country it is not accepted to speak openly about this, moreover, it is considered shameful. However, if you look at the root of this problem, you can clearly see that we ourselves are creating this disease. Anorexia is not a disease as such, it is rather a wrong worldview, wrong values ​​and life guidelines, which, unfortunately, are formed in the process of education, this is a kind of life lesson for the most stubborn. But you can only get to the bottom of the problem by understanding it. To get rid of this ailment, at the first stage you need to work a lot on yourself, your thoughts, change your inner world, fighting with yourself, and this is the most difficult thing.

At the second stage, work with psychotherapists helps. In Russia, there is a very ambiguous attitude towards specialists in this field. However, competent doctors are quite good at dealing with such problems. First of all, they help to find the reason why it happened to you, to realize it and find another way out. Many are looking for help on the side, magic pills, but this will not happen, not a single pill will help without an inner desire for change, without fatigue from their obsessive states, help and strength can only be found within oneself, to cultivate a core in oneself. Where does this anorexia come from?

I have been working with addicts for several years and I know firsthand about this problem. When I became an “ex,” I got the idea to organize an Anorexic Relief Fund, which has been successfully operating for two years now. It all starts in childhood. How are most children brought up? Parents project their own desires and unfulfilled dreams onto them, and the child does not live his own life. All his inner desires and emotions are suppressed, unusual qualities of character are instilled in him, when the moment comes for a child to enter adulthood, there is a complete lack of the ability to make decisions on his own, and anorexia acts here as a kind of safe cocoon where nothing needs to be decided. The authoritarian regime of upbringing leads to the fear of doing something on his own, the child hides “in a cocoon”, where he can control at least something – his body. Or everything is served on a silver platter, as a result of which the child, going into adulthood, is faced with a discrepancy in his ideas about life (that there will never be a need for anything, that someone will constantly solve all difficulties for him) and reality.

Another case is when a child, in the process of his entire upbringing, acts as a manipulation tool for parents to resolve their conflicts. In this case, growing up, the child does not know who he is, his functions sag, he acted as a kind of marriage stabilizer all his life. And there are a lot of such reasons. As you can see, anorexia is not a weight problem, the causes are much deeper; no matter how much a person weighs, anorexia is a disease of the soul, of the brain, if you like. The only thing that unites all cases, such a prerequisite, is an authoritarian mother, usually in such families she is the head of the family, she never openly tells the child that she loves him, her love manifests itself in attempts to feed.

Anorexia – it is a denial of food, and therefore a denial of such maternal love. It is no coincidence that it begins in the parental home. Unloved children thereby unconsciously attract attention and love to themselves.

It happened to me too. My experience of being in this state is six years, and several more years of my life were spent on a fierce struggle for my life. At twenty, I suddenly decided to lose weight, it seemed to me that with an increase of 164 centimeters, my 60 kg is just a lot.

I didn’t deny myself anything from food. But at some point it ended. I clearly remember when it happened: the scale arrow stopped at the 60 kg mark of fat and self-loathing. I felt like a mammoth. This is how my period in my life began, which I call “legion” to myself. It all started with a banal diet. At first, it was really proper nutrition, the exclusion of culinary delights in the form of cakes from my diet, began to walk a lot, and stopped using the elevator.

I suddenly fell in love with myself. Baggy clothes were replaced by feminine dresses, tight jeans and a neckline. It seemed it was time to stop, but I couldn’t. At some point, some area responsible for the mind burns out in the head, the idea of ​​losing weight at any cost becomes manic. Further it gets worse. If you do not stop at this stage, it is possible that the case may end with white slippers. How do you stop here? After all, you have a whole wardrobe of new dresses, your figure is not much different from the one you saw in the picture, when there is so much attention from the opposite sex, admiration of friends. But you still realize with despair that you spend 80% of your time thinking about food, or rather, not food.

And then you step over the line, beyond the line where slow suicide begins. Where your “I” is erased, “she” appears. Many girls with this ailment, with whom I happened to communicate, describe her in different ways. In my case, it was a middle-aged woman with a stern disposition with a metallic voice that constantly sounded in my head. She was very harsh, for any disobedience I was exiled to the gym to pump my bones or on an endless hunger strike. I could eat nothing for weeks. Then I only drank and smoked, smoked a lot to suppress the feeling of hunger. Hunger came in rushes. At first, weak, with minute attacks, then calmed down for several hours. In a few days it passed altogether. This was the easiest period. So it was possible to exist quietly for a week. Then more severe attacks began than before. They lasted longer, but less often. At these moments, one could reach psychosis. Because hunger must be resisted as the worst enemy. This is probably where addiction begins, partly insane. The perception of one’s own body is distorted. Every evening a terrible monster, weighing at least 100 kg, looked at me from the mirror. But in reality you are no longer there, there is another you, all transparent and blue. I wanted so badly to be taken to a psychiatric clinic, it was the edge.

In about a year and a half of such a life, I entered a state of stable anorexic, which lasted another five years. Having dropped 20 kg, I weighed 40 kg, at times it was even less. Hair began to fall out, nails and teeth were crumbling, complete indifference and lack of any emotions appeared, detachment from this world, I turned into a zombie girl, whose interests were reduced to only one thing – to lose weight at any cost and even life. I wanted to be a beauty, but I became a monster. As a result, the doctors’ verdict: continuation in the same spirit will lead to infertility. The first thoughts that I experienced at that moment: “It’s even better, we don’t need children, these are extra pounds for me.”

Everything that could have happened happened. Everything that this disease takes, it took: I lost a loved one. The only thing is that I survived, but is this life needed in such a state? There are no friends, because you saw only yourself and “her”, there is no health, strained relations with relatives. “She” seems to take everything from you, burns out your soul to complete indifference. And then the curtain approaches. It’s like a fork, only the end will be different for everyone. Someone continues to desperately fight for their thinness, which quite naturally will lead to death, someone will already begin to fight it. In my case, this was a struggle with varying success, now in her, now in my favor. This is a very difficult path.

Six years of my life have passed with a journey to hell. Now I am 27, I am returning to the weight from which it all began. I feel how “she” left me in search of a new victim, I am too tough for her. Of course, it was a great school of life, a kind of definite experience. She nurtured a certain strength in me. Now I know everything and even more about diets. Thank God for staying alive. Now I use all my free time for the development of the Fund to help anorexic people, our efforts have already saved many human lives.

My story began in 2011. I was 13 then, almost 14 years old. My height was about 160 cm, and I weighed 50-51 kg. But at that time I did not think about losing weight. I ate everything: hamburgers, Coca-Cola, chocolates, pies, buns – and I didn’t think about what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat. And she certainly didn’t know anything about calories, proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. I remember we had a girl in our class. She had a very beautiful, feminine figure. We were the same height with her, only she weighed 47 kg. I decided I wanted to look like her.

I didn’t think about dieting, my mother discouraged me from any desire for them since childhood, but on the Internet I found such a thing as “Proper nutrition”. And they also wrote that together with sports, it generally gives a colossal result. I found some simple exercises on the Internet and started spinning the hoop and pumping the abs every day. I have really become more wholesome food. Only the portions were scanty. I don’t even know if I was reaching 700 calories a day. At first it was unusual to eat buckwheat instead of Big Mac and drink tea without sugar, but then I got used to it. And the feeling of hunger gradually disappeared somewhere. I have always been an independent girl, so my parents did not pay much attention to what and when I eat. We all came home in the evening, saw a little, and therefore at first no one noticed that I was rapidly losing weight. Two months later, the alarm began to sound. First of all, we went to an endocrinologist, there are people in the family with problems with the thyroid gland, but the tests were excellent.

Menses have not returned yet. I have a difficult situation with them. But the hormones are already normal, and I wait for them from day to day. Most importantly, my family, my smile, my desire to create and live have returned to me! To go through what I went through, I will not wish any person on earth. It was hellish work, both physical and psychological. This is a huge work on yourself. I can’t say that now I am madly in love with myself, but I really learned love and accept yourself.

I want all the girls who decide to lose weight to first of all ask themselves the question: why? To wear a pretty dress? To walk on the beach in an open swimsuit? To please yourself? You can do it all right now! You are already beautiful, you are already perfect, you can already wear whatever you want. Understand that you are primarily a person, not 40 kg of weight and 60 cm at the waist! I am not saying that you absolutely need to stop taking care of yourself.

No. For example, now I try to eat competently, eat more natural products. But this does not mean that I cannot eat a few slices of chocolate at night or an apple after six in the evening. Certainly can! And I also realized that I really love strength training, although I used to try to force myself with cardio training. You shouldn’t go in for any sport if you hate it. Find an activity that works for you. This is called the harmony of body and soul! Until you love yourself for who you are right now, you will not be able to love yourself with a weight of 5, 10, or 20 kg less. Trust the person who has gone through this. Do not wish harm to your body. He is very smart and knows much better than you what he needs. Let yourself live!

It all starts the same for everyone. Someone casually thrown a phrase about your figure, and instantly you begin to experience self-doubt. So I was once told that I sucked in my stomach in a photograph. It happened to me at the age of 15, and everything, as they say … away we go. First diet and minus 4 kg in five days. The joy of the rapidly falling numbers on the scales, lightness in the body, everyone asks enviously: “How did you lose so much weight?”, And you feel like a hero and a superstar at the same time. But gradually the notorious jumped self-esteem is replaced by the fear that it will not always be so, that, perhaps, you will soon pick up what you threw off, or even twice as much, so a decision is made to lose weight “for the future.” I literally limited myself in everything. Sweets, fast food, carbonated drinks, fatty, salty foods could never get into my mouth. Then you seem to understand that even meat can not be eaten, and vegetables are useless. Water, apples, porridge – your maximum per day. Once I saw the figure of 37 kg on the scales, I was extremely happy, because my ideal – 35 kg – already so close. But on the same day, almost fainting, I was really scared. Then I realized that I really had problems. And it so happened that I was admitted to the hospital. I did not stay there for long, they fed me rather than somehow helped me to understand myself. After all, as you know, this terrible ailment, anorexia, is not a problem of weight and weight loss, it is a problem in the head, a mental disorder.

Yes, unfortunately, in Russia there are very few competent doctors who practice eating disorders, but among them there are undoubtedly decent ones, I just probably was not lucky. The next four years went like this: relapse – remission – relapse – remission. I added and lost 10 kg a year. I started having problems with the gastrointestinal tract, with hormonal levels, and I got panic attacks. While on outpatient treatment with her doctor, she threw a bunch of pills, but it did not help in any way.

At one point, I realized that this could not continue. And you have to do something, because it is impossible to live like this forever, limiting yourself in food, which you dream of all day. And I started with a trip to a psychologist. I cannot say that these sessions saved me or set me on the right path, but at least they helped me to conduct a deep analysis of what happened. How did I recover? Firstly, my great desire to be healthy and happy, motivation is the most important thing in the fight against anorexia. Secondly, the support of parents, best friend and young man. Honestly, I couldn’t have done it without them. Thirdly, powerful work with your thoughts, getting rid of negative thoughts, accepting your body, working with your desires, determining your place in life. And fourthly, a great contribution to my recovery was made by the book (as strange as it may sound) by Robert Schwartz “Diets Don’t Work.” This is by no means an advertisement, I just happened to stumble upon it, and it opened my eyes to the truth, now I don’t even remember and don’t understand how I lived these five years. The causes of this disease are rather not that someone was told something about his weight or figure. The real reasons are buried deep inside. And most likely, this is education. As much as one would like to blame the parents, for the most part it is they who “help to get sick.” Someone is very strictly brought up and controlled, thus a person wants to control at least something in his life, for example, his body. Someone is trying to attract attention because of the “dislike”. It demands impeccable obedience from someone or study at school, as it was with me. Thus, you strive to be perfect in everything. In this regard, each has its own individual story.

Another reason I undoubtedly consider our whole society. It also became mentally ill since the 60s, when the notorious Twiggy became the ideal of beauty. Agree, now everyone is obsessed with diets, “proper nutrition”, fitness, green coffee and goji berries. In addition, there is tremendous pressure on people from TV screens and magazine pages. There is only flawless skin without stretch marks and cellulite, stick legs with the beloved anorexic women “characteristic distance between the legs”, a sunken belly with abs and firm breasts. No matter how you explain it to people, they still don’t understand that this is Photoshop. Well, there are no other people without a single fold.

My advice to all girls. Please do not start losing weight, or if you have already started, then stop before it is too late. From my own experience I say, I went through five years of hell, and believe me, it’s not worth it. Losing weight doesn’t make anyone happy. Losing weight is not a huge willpower, as they usually say to those who are losing weight, it is just fear. The fear of being yourself, the fear of truly loving yourself for who you are, the fear of being judged. Losing weight is the easiest thing, but accepting yourself is yes, it’s difficult. Recovering from anorexia is not easy either. But absolutely everything is possible. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Anorexia nervosa occurs in two distinct forms. It can be related to the external situation faced by an emotionally sensitive teenager, for example, if his figure is assessed negatively by his peers, if he is mocked, if he is not taken into a dance group, if someone publicly points out his physical disabilities, unhappy love is also can be an impetus, the second manifestation of anorexia nervosa occurs with dysmorphobia (hatred of one’s body), in the structure of such a serious illness as schizophrenia. Only an experienced physician can tell one from the other.

Personal portrait of anorexic

In the course of research, a connection was found between a sense of security, the ability to enjoy life, a deep feeling that you are loved and accepted as you are. Sometimes adolescents begin to refuse food, as if denying the figure of a strict, criticizing, abusive parent. Most often people get sick with this disease who think and live only in black and white, in other words, “or all or nothing” For example, a negative attitude: I am either a model or I am ugly.

People with anorexia are often very intelligent. prone to introspection, they have ascetic ideals. For example, in the letters of our girls, we observe a great desire to get to the bottom of the truth, they are prone to logical analysis, they strive to help others.

Researcher Carlson, back in 2004, identified the personality traits of patients with anorexia:

* they prefer a stable, familiar environment and do not adapt well to changes

* treat others with respect to elders with obedience

* avoid risk and any stress causes a storm of emotions

* strive for self-development all the time

* being exhausted, they still demonstrate cheerfulness, benevolence, although they feel extremely bad.

We all come from childhood

If we talk about the causes of anorexia, but it is impossible not to say about the so-called “anorectic families” – the peculiarity of relations in such families is expressed in an excessive caring attitude towards children. In these families, it is not customary to talk about feelings, everyone avoids discussing difficult issues. Often in such a situation, children do not have the right to defend their opinions, the family lives according to the principle “who is the eldest is always right”, in such families the child is often dragged into family conflicts, often such children feel guilty for the fact that the parent is quarreling or divorced.

In families of the anorectic type – the personal space of the child is rarely respected, all family members seem to be deprived of the right to independence and self-realization. In such families, the child has huge demands and huge expectations, girls in such families all the time try to attract attention and deserve praise. grow up as perfectionists.

In such families, there is a belief that the world is hostile, family boundaries are very rigid, the child’s relationship with the world is rarely approved, in such families a lot of attention is paid to conversations about health and food.

In such families, there is often a dominant mom and a depressed or avoidant dad.

An hysterical mother – who herself does not love her body, is dissatisfied in the sexual aspect with her husband, a perfectionist mother who requires the child to always be strong, herself easily falls into hysterical seizures, threatens to leave, all the time talks about diets, about what is needed to have a beautiful figure and all the time indicates to her daughter that the main thing is not to get fat, since she must be perfect. Such a mother can encourage a child to participate in all sorts of beauty contests, she can regularly cite her peers as an example, etc. Such a mother tries not to notice the problem, she gasps and gasps, but delays the visit to the doctor.

A paranoid dominant mother who constantly maintains the myth that everything is perfect in their family, even if everything is very bad in the family, such a mother constantly imposes a picture of ideality on the child. The child cannot express his feelings, he is constantly forced to do what he does not want, he does not know how to defend himself, all he can is to start rejecting such a life and it is anorexia that becomes such a form of rejection. Such a mother, even when the child is already sick, does not want to notice the problem, tries to perceive it as just a character trait, does not want to turn to specialists, says that only “psychos” drink pills and you have to cope on your own, with such maternal behavior, anorexic often remains without medical attention for too long.

Here, according to the text of our girls, one can think that all three factors play a role :

· Personal factor – personality traits, temperament, features, a tendency to addictive behavior

Family factor – attitude in the family, type of family, type of relationship between parents, type of parenting

· Social factor – social expectations, fashion.

Eugene

“Anorexia is a denial of food, and therefore a denial of such maternal love. It is no coincidence that it begins in the parental home. Unloved children thus unconsciously attract attention and love to themselves. “

“After all, you have a whole wardrobe of new dresses, your figure is not much different from the one you saw in the picture, when there is so much attention from the opposite field, admiration of friends.”

Valeria

“Someone casually thrown a phrase about your figure, and instantly you begin to feel self-doubt. So I was once told that I sucked in my stomach in a photograph. It happened to me at the age of 15, and everything, as they say … rushed. ”

“Someone is very strictly brought up and controlled, thus a person wants to control at least something in his life, for example, his body. Someone is trying to attract attention because of the “dislike”. It demands impeccable obedience from someone or study at school, as it was with me. “

***

“Mom beat off all desire since childhood”

“I have always been an independent girl, so my parents did not pay much attention to what and when I eat. We all came home in the evening, saw a little, and therefore at first no one noticed that I was rapidly losing weight. Two months later, the alarm began to sound. “

Fashion for anorexia. Cattle-beauty

Fashion of the last twenty years has become very harmful for the younger generation. The cult of anorexic thinness was imposed primarily from the catwalks and further spread through the pages of glossy publications. The entire cosmetology and medical world received new markets for products such as diet pills, numerous body shaping procedures, and this market had to be supported. To do this, it was necessary to form hard-to-reach ideals, then people would constantly reconstruct themselves as a constructor, even such technological terms as “body modeling” appeared in advertisements. this is practically a crime, gradually it led to the obsessive desire of the whole society to lose weight. The body has become an object for reconstruction, the body has become alien, it has ceased to be its own, people have ceased to want to feel themselves in their body, it has ceased to be truly alive. It turned into an investment fund, an admission ticket to the play called “beautiful life” Against this unfavorable social background, just a risk group, girls from such families, girls with a burdened heredity, who only needed an impetus for the rapid development of the disease became victim of that time

It is difficult to treat

Patients often have a disturbed idea of ​​the scheme of their body, psychotherapists have to gradually change beliefs in small steps. The doctor promotes the realization that this method of control and independence is not effective and help to learn other methods, it is necessary to take medications, unfortunately, many girls die, are deprived of the ability to have children, this is a mentally traumatized and not completely healthy person for life.