â € ‹â €‹ â € ‹â €‹ â € ‹â €‹ â € ‹We are parents!
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In this article, we summarize the results of a study conducted by us, the teachers of the Excalibur Camp children’s camps. For several years now we have been conducting shifts in our children’s camps. One of the key questions that is important when communicating and working with children is how to get them interested in doing something? How can parents and educators create interest and involvement in a child? This is what we, teachers, came to on the basis of the experience gained over almost a dozen shifts.
As you probably already guessed, in this article we will talk about the differences between such concepts of raising a child as obedience and initiative. On the one hand, every parent wants to see his daughter or his son obedient, disciplined. On the other hand, in order to be successful in the future life, it would be good for the child to be active and enterprising. Water does not flow under a lying stone, right?
When talking with parents before sending children to the camp, I had to listen to such wishes very often: “You, most importantly, make sure that he does not indulge in your camp there. And also make sure that he does not sit in the corner, but is a leader and ringleader among his peers.
Hm. At first glance, these are really two different aspects of raising any child. Not only are they different — they are often opposed to each other. Or a ringleader in a class, a group, or an obedient quiet girl.
From us, adults and serious parents, obedience is required all the time. We must comply with the rules of the road, the rules of conduct in the subway, the company’s sales standards. In a hypermarket, when we put our purchases on the tape at the checkout before paying, we must separate our purchases from others with a metal bar with the inscription “next customer”. We know it’s easier sometimes. Life is easier if I drive on the right side of the road, easier if I keep my commuter train ticket in my pocket for the rest of the trip. Well, yes, those who travel by train for a fee will understand me.
And if obedience is demanded of us, then we also demand it. Our children. «Listen to what I’m telling you!» — probably the most popular phrase of all times and peoples.
Pay attention, friends, what a strange paradox. We are told, you observe, follow, obey. We tell this to our children.
At the same time, we hear: take everything from life, be a winner, conquer everyone. We say the same thing to children — dear, you listen, and you must be the best, come up with something unusual, out of the ordinary. Son, you must be obedient, disciplined, the strongest, dexterous, stand out among others, protect girls and not run in physical education classes.
When we started our children’s camps, we asked ourselves the following question — the guys should go to game battles, come up with ideas for their films, and assemble a team for orientation. These things require activity and perseverance.
But to line up, hold the bow exactly as it should be, keep the scissors horizontal when making a leather bag — this requires obedience and discipline. And we did some research. They asked the guys what, in their own expert opinion, is more important for them. The answers surprised us: you, educators, give us the opportunity to take the initiative, and we will … obey you for this. Therefore, when we started, for example, a lesson in making clay figurines, before explaining in a strict voice what and how we will do, we interviewed the guys for several minutes. Who wants to sit where? What is your favorite color of clay? Who will be the leader in the group? Who will cut, and who wants to sculpt first?
And strange. More precisely, nothing strange, the children wanted to do what they themselves came up with. Especially when we finalized their ideas according to the principle: since Petya wants to cut clay, he will sculpt and watch how others cut. Nevertheless, our attempts to immediately and without fail insist on our decisions very often failed, but there are more children))
It is useless to say — be obedient and be a fighter. Better to say — be a fighter and listen to what they say. Engage first, format later, not the other way around!
It turns out that our goal, the task as parents for the future is to make our children become both active and obedient. And the first, perhaps the most important step for this important matter is not to rush to format the child, to discourage him from wanting to be active, to do something. Do not rush, he will not run away from you anywhere. Give him the opportunity to do something, even if it’s wrong, the main thing is to explain to him in detail what the rules are in this game. What actions lead to victory, how their observance will achieve the result, and how to obey these rules.
Try to do this for a very short time, a week or two, and you will notice that the children look at you with completely different eyes. And become both active and obedient. In our Excalibur Camps, this is how it works.
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