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Tips for parents who are afraid to communicate about «it»
All children are sure that their mom and dad know everything about everything. How many questions to their parents every day are asked by little whys. Why is the grass green, why is it snowing, and why did a tooth fall out, and why a ladybug with dots … However, the question of where children come from causes panic and confusion for many parents. Most importantly, do not be afraid of a large number of questions, do not run away from the conversation, because if the child does not receive an answer from you, then he will find out elsewhere. The main thing is to properly prepare for the answer, to pay due attention to this interesting question for the child, to be tactful and delicate. With children of any age, parents should be honest for the sake of trust, so parents will help children understand that they can trust them, and in the future, talk openly on any topic (no need to talk about cabbage or stork).
Let’s give explanations in this matter according to age, so as not to destroy the child’s psyche with our excessive revelations. This conversation should take the form of a conversation, where you and your child participate in the conversation as equals. Do not turn the conversation into a lecture or lecture. Do not discuss with children, even older ones, your own sexual experience, going into all colors.
Talking to a 3-5 year old
This is the age when children develop curiosity about gender differences, self-identification occurs. Most often it is at this age that the child asks the question: “Where did I come from?”. Do not be afraid, but tell your story of meeting your dad, tell us that you dreamed of a child and were waiting for him. (“We really wanted you to be born, and you were born. We love you very much”). A child of this age is not interested in physiological details, the fact of his birth is important to him. It is necessary to provide the child with only the information that he can now understand, do not use anatomical terms. Explain that he appeared from the tummy, where he was comfortable and warm, where he grew up. Then he grew up and no longer fit in the tummy, then you went to the hospital to a special doctor, and he already helped him to be born. Along with the story, show the child the photos of the waiting period. Focus not on physiology, but on feelings. Turn your story into an interesting fairy tale.
Talking to a 6-10 year old
The child grows up, acquires a certain life experience, now he is interested in physiological issues. We cannot always protect the child from explicit scenes on the Internet or on TV, the child is mastering the world of feelings and relationships. Now you can explain how the body of a man and a woman is arranged. Feel free to pronounce the words «penis» and «penis.» Describe how babies grow in the womb. Do not touch the topic of birth with all the details. We can say that the child is born in the hospital, and doctors help him. If you can’t pick up the words yourself, then various manuals for children will help you with this: encyclopedias, children’s books, educational cartoons, but watch or read it yourself first.
A child of 8-9 years old can already be told about how the sperm enters the female vagina, how it meets the egg, how fertilization and further development of the embryo in the uterus, the birth of a baby. If you talk about the fact that childbirth is painful, immediately add how happy the mother feels when looking at the newborn baby. How happy and glad you were to have a baby. At this age, the child understands that children are taken as a result of the relationship of a man and a woman. Now it is important to explain that sex is possible only between adults and after falling in love, long-term friendship and the decision that they want to be together and start a family.
Talking to a 11-16 year old
If you have not talked about the physiological changes of adolescents, then it’s time to talk about it. A teenager needs to be told in advance about what will happen to him (about menstruation and wet dreams).
In addition, it is worth touching on the topic of first love, feelings, sex. When to touch on the topic of contraception, see for yourself, since everything is individual and depends on whether the child is ripe for sexual activity or not. However, he who is warned is armed. According to statistics, modern children begin sexual activity at the age of 14-16 years.
Intimate questions are difficult, but you need to talk about this with children.
A book on the subject “Encyclopedia of Sexual Life. Physiology and psychology. Book for children 7-9 years old»