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How to contain anger, aggression and anger at a child: advice from a psychologist
How to restrain anger when rage rises from the depths of the soul, and the reason, in the form of a baby, is standing by and watching your reaction? There are no mothers who, at least occasionally, would not experience such feelings.
Why moms get angry with their baby
Irritation with a beloved child is a normal condition for a mother who constantly suppresses her natural feelings. She gets tired of nightly awakenings, which also affects her feelings for a creature that interferes with sleep. Panic fear for a baby who can eat a button or pinch a finger at any time often translates into an angry shout.
To contain anger – do not accumulate it for a long time, it will not be so destructive
What happens when the baby grows up and communication with him turns into torture? He touches the most painful strings of the soul, deftly manipulating the weaknesses of his parents. It’s not a bad character: the child takes from you all the good traits that you recognize and the bad ones that are hidden from you. You see the hateful features of a spouse in the little man, and the teenager demonstrates your weaknesses to him.
Without realizing it, you passed on to your child the pain you received from your parents, which the teenager reflects to you. Your child does not wish you harm, although sometimes he plays on his nerves. A psychologist can work with this.
How to contain aggression: advice from a psychologist
There are many ways to get yourself back into a relatively calm state without regretting the consequences. Above all, train yourself not to accumulate anger. Try to immediately explain to the baby the feelings that his act evokes. When expressing dissatisfaction, talk about a specific situation without giving negative characteristics to the offender himself: “I am unhappy that you have thrown toys, I’m angry at you because the room is dirty”, instead of: “You are growing up sloppy, your place is trash heap “.
If your condition is such that it is impossible to say an adequate phrase, wait a few minutes and do one of the exercises:
- count up to 50 in your head and back;
- concentrate on breathing, tracking inhalation and exhalation for several minutes.
Breathing or counting will help you return to an adequate state in which you “will not break the wood.”
Another way is to “look at the anger from the outside.” It won’t work right away, but you can practice in less annoying situations. You are waiting for the bus and you get annoyed, look at it as an outside observer. How cleverly your anger manipulates you, hiding behind “just indignation.”
Your child is always more annoying than someone else’s. Do not build up irritation, but try to convey your feelings to the offender without getting personal. Look at your anger from the outside, be the master of the situation.