How to communicate with teenagers who will soon be leaving home

Summer is almost over, and many teenagers will soon be heading to university in another city. This summer has become a time of change for them: they have decided on their future profession, their world has become a little different. But we still do not know how to deal with older children, how to help them open up and talk about their fears and worries. Here are five tips for parents.

1. Remember that we are all different.

Everyone perceives life in their own way, and we treat change differently. Try not to forget that your experience is different from your child’s.

Perhaps he is afraid to share his fears and doubts, or he thinks that you will consider his feelings insignificant. The only way to find out what he thinks and feels is to ask him about it.

Don’t start a conversation right away. Ask him how he is doing and how he feels. This will start communication.

2. Take your time with advice

It’s great that you know how to solve another person’s problems, but it’s probably just how you feel.

If a teenager feels confused or anxious, it’s best to just be there. Give him the opportunity to experience these experiences without judgment on your part. Don’t wait or demand that he does something to change those feelings. Listen and let’s understand that you will always help and support.

When a child becomes an adult, relationships change, especially if he leaves to study in another city. You cannot help him every day. Learn to just support the child, and not give out ready-made solutions.

3. Appreciate your teen’s feelings and experiences

You may not agree with his views on life, but it is important that he knows that his feelings are important to you. When your child leaves home, he leaves not only his family and his usual way of life, but also his friends. He is afraid of loneliness and a new life in an unfamiliar place. At this point, many parents say: “Everything will be wonderful. You will still find many new friends.

You wanted to support him, but such words can hurt a teenager. It’s better to say, «I’m sorry. I know how hard it is to leave friends. This will show that you appreciate and understand his feelings.

4. Connect with your family

It seems that young people do not need relatives. They walk all the time or sit in social networks. But I think that most teenagers value family. Think of some family activities this summer.

It can be field trips or family movie screenings. It can be fun to teach your teenager the tricks of independent living, such as laundry and cooking. Communicate and appreciate the moments spent together.

5. Be honest

The best way to encourage a child to have a frank conversation is to be honest yourself. Don’t be afraid to appear weak.

Establish a new relationship format in which your teenager can see you not only as a troubled parent, but also as an equal adult. Be honest with him about your feelings, tell him that you are sad when you think about his move. When you openly share your emotions with your child, he learns to communicate in an adult way.

But you don’t need to pour out all your feelings on a teenager — share only what you feel comfortable talking about. Try to be honest and open. When children grow up, it is useful for them to get to know their parents not only as mother and father, but also as an adult with their own worries, fears and feelings.