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You realized that it’s time to turn to a sexologist. It remains only to choose a specialist who can professionally help you and thereby prove that your decision was the right one. What questions should you ask yourself and the specialist before starting work? And what to look for when choosing a sexologist?
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According to research, about 43% of women and 30% of men struggle with some form of sexual dysfunction. Often they turn to sexologists for help, but you should not think that you should go to these specialists only when it comes to a serious pathology. Under their patronage, you can also solve problems associated with attraction and even simple boredom in intimate relationships.
However, finding a specialist who is right for both you and your partner is not easy. Here are five tips to follow to find the right sexologist.
1. Ask yourself: Why do I need a sex therapist?
Sex therapy is a vast field, covering a huge number of issues, from purely medical to psychological. To find the right specialist, you need to form a clear request. It is important to understand: why are you asking for help?
“Sexopathologists are trained to look at problems from different points of view: physiological, psychological, cultural”
“Prospective clients should be asking themselves, ‘Why therapy? Why now? What do we want to work on?” says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a New York-based sex therapist. “And more importantly, what are we willing to do to achieve these goals?”
Are you willing to take the time to meet with a sexologist regularly? Are you ready to do your “homework” which may include communication exercises, reading, viewing study materials, and even sexual experimentation? Are you ready to discuss intimate topics with someone at all? These questions should be asked beforehand.
2. Consider the experience and qualifications of the therapist
It is important to find out what kind of work experience the therapist has. Ideally, if a specialist has a degree in medicine, has undergone psychotherapeutic training and studied sexopathology. Such a therapist will be able to take into account many factors at once that could affect your sexual health.
“Certified sex therapists can usually look at problems from different perspectives: physiological, psychological, and even cultural,” explains Jan Kerner, a sexologist and Ph.D.
3. Talk to multiple experts
Testing the qualifications and experience of potential therapists through open source information is important, but it is also helpful to meet several sexologists in person.
Sexologists use different styles of work, and partners need to understand which one suits them both.
“I personally think that when choosing such a specialist, you should visit two or three therapists for an initial consultation,” says Dr. Fleming. According to him, sexologists use different styles of work, and partners need to understand which specialist suits them both.
At the same time, sex therapy can be both individual and steam. If it is more comfortable for you to first talk with a specialist face-to-face, then you can start with this format of work, and after a while invite your partner to therapy. In addition, do not forget about the online formats of sexological consultations.
4. Ask about the treatment plan and guarantees
Of course, therapy is a process with ups and downs, but it is still entirely appropriate to ask a potential sexologist what results you will be able to achieve and how soon this will happen. It is also better to agree on the cost of his work in advance.
“It is important for us to understand what we are spending money on and what success we can achieve. If you have a self-confident specialist in front of you, then it will be easier for you to take on the obligations necessary in therapy and methodically do the work,” emphasizes Dr. Fleming.
5. Regularly check the results of therapy
Sexual health is a complex and intimate topic. You may find it uncomfortable to discuss it even with a therapist, especially at the beginning of a client-therapeutic relationship. But as the treatment progresses, you should feel more and more comfortable. If this does not happen, this may be a wake-up call that you and the therapist are not suitable for each other.
“Most sexual problems, however, are universal, so a competent sexologist should be able to deal with them fairly quickly and effectively. At a minimum, you should have the feeling that you are not alone, ”says Dr. Kerner.
Sex therapy has a goal – to achieve a state in which you can live a “real sex life” and be happy.
You should feel like you’re working with someone who can clearly explain what’s going on with you and relieve you of the stress and anxiety associated with a sexual problem.
Ultimately, this type of therapy has a specific goal – to bring you to a state in which you can live a “real sex life” and be happy.