How to build a happy relationship: 5 tips

1. Choose a partner who is similar to you.

The common notion that people who are different make for happy couples is not supported by research. Passionate romances can flare up between such people, but they are fleeting and do not stand the test of time.

At first, the owners of opposite characters and habits may be interested in each other, but the traits that were admired at the beginning become annoying over time.

If you are a disciplined, orderly person, then the spontaneity of a partner in the first months seems to you the missing quality to balance your own too predictable life. But it will take a little time, and you will see in this a sign of irresponsibility.

The more coincidences in character, everyday habits, hobbies, the more likely it is to build long-term relationships.

2. Do not hurry

Sometimes relationships fall apart because we rush things too much, not having time to go through all the stages of rapprochement. An attempt to speed things up gives the illusion of closeness and can play a trick on us.

Indeed, on the one hand, the time that must pass before we enter into a sexual relationship does not depend on the number of dates, but on how comfortable and psychologically safe we ​​feel with a partner. On the other hand, recklessly rushing into the stream of feelings, we evaluate a person uncritically. Long-term relationships are best started with friendship and getting to know each other.

3. Keep a balance between independence and the ability to rely on a partner

Independence means the ability to deal with problems on your own. Interdependence is the willingness to rely on help, which implies trust and openness. Both qualities are equally necessary. If the balance is equally comfortable for you and your partner, you will be able to build a psychologically compatible union in which both feel protected.

But if at the beginning of a relationship you feel that you do not have enough time for your own activities and interests, and dependence on a new relationship begins to weigh you down, do not rush to draw conclusions. It takes time to adjust to each other’s lifestyle and rhythm. Feel free to speak frankly about your needs and concerns, and try to listen, understand, and support your partner in turn.

4. Put the interests of the couple ahead of your own.

We live in a culture of individualism and often associate with people in pursuit of our own goals and interests. Which is contrary to the desire to have a truly deep connection. For example, you want to buy yourself a new expensive phone / bag, and at first you don’t like the idea of ​​uXNUMXbuXNUMXbspending part of your savings on a joint trip. But look at the situation more broadly – time spent together and in new circumstances will make you closer and happier.

5. Work on yourself

If you already have a negative experience behind you, then before entering into a new relationship, you should understand yourself. This difficult but important inner work will help us understand why you used to choose those who hurt or simply were not close, and not let such people into your life anymore. People around you will treat you the way you treat yourself, so be kind to yourself.