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Every parent hears this request from their child for the first time at some point. It seems at this point that there will be no end to the demands now. You begin to foresee the worst: you will respond to the first request, and then you will have to satisfy all the purchasing needs of your offspring. Is it really?
How to behave if the child constantly asks: «Buy!»?
Let’s try to figure it out. For most «Buy!» parents react with refusal. Is it worth telling a child: “I don’t want to buy you this thing, and that’s it!”? Refusal without explanation will not solve the problem, but will only aggravate the situation.
How to explain the refusal? This depends on the age of the child. For a baby, this argument may be quite weighty: “This thing is too big. Let’s buy something smaller» (exit option suggested).
If this is an older child, and the thing is really needed, explain your financial situation, agree on when the purchase becomes possible. It will not be difficult to explain that even an adult does not buy everything he sees or everything he likes.
Naturally, when parents filter the child’s requests (and the financial issue is not at all in the first place here). Let the child also know these filters, for example, “Necessary — not necessary” (if there are already 10 fire trucks, is the eleventh needed); “quality goods — low-quality” (for example, made in China, which means it can quickly break down); whether it is age appropriate, etc. The child is able to understand such explanations.
It is very important to understand what is behind our first reaction to the request «Buy!». Perhaps we remember ourselves in childhood. Someone heard refusals too often, always felt left out. Reaction: I want the child to have everything. It is possible that this is a belated satisfaction of their own childhood desires.
Some parents immediately respond to the child’s request out of guilt. This is typical for very busy parents (especially for «business» moms). And also for «Sunday» dads who rarely see their son or daughter.
Let’s believe Western psychologists: the feeling of being «wealthy» is laid down in preschool childhood. Growing up, someone considers himself a wealthy person with temporary financial difficulties. And the other (with the same income) — a beggar who can not afford anything. And the first always has the means to live, and the second is always struggling with poverty. So the main emphasis when discussing the next purchase with a child is better to do not on the lack of money, but on the expediency of this purchase.
child in the store
Moms know that going to the store with a small child can be a real test for the nervous system of an adult. Kids get tired quickly, ask to buy something, another, third, they are capricious. How to protect yourself from such troubles?
— The most radical remedy is not to go to the store with the child at all. But this is possible if there are grandmothers and other reliable relatives. Or if you try to cooperate with other young mothers and go to the store in turn.
— You can make purchases a week ahead. This option is for those who have a car.
And if there is no one to leave the child with or the family does not have a car?
Try to make a list of necessary purchases before going to the store. This will reduce the time spent in the store with the child. In addition, you do not have to return if you forgot to buy something you need.
— Please note: before visiting the store, the child should not be hungry, or overexcited, or, conversely, too tired. Otherwise, it will be quite difficult to avoid children’s hysteria.
— Discuss with your child in advance what exactly you are going to buy. If there are misunderstandings in the store, calmly remind them what you came here for. Try not to buy anything unplanned.
— You can bring your baby’s favorite toy with you or use other distractions — depending on the age of the child.
— The child is interested in some bright object, and you are afraid that he can damage or break this little thing? Try saying, “What a beautiful thing! Take a closer look at it and let’s ask Santa Claus to bring it to us for the New Year.
— Explore nearby shops. Avoid the ones where it is customary to put containers of goodies, chewing gums, Kinder Surprises and other tempting things on the counter or at the checkout. No need to provoke the baby once again.
— If a child starts to get hysterical (“I want!”, “Buy!”, Etc.), tell him that you are offended and upset by his behavior, and you better go outside together and think about what to do next. Failed to stop the tantrum — leave the store with the child.
Children respect certain rules and rituals. For example, you can agree: each time we buy you only one thing or we buy for a certain amount. Or: on a Sunday walk we go to a cafe and buy one cake. Returning from a walk, we buy a balloon (options — depending on the age and preferences of the child).
— You can avoid unpleasant emotions when visiting the store, if you assign the child an active role of the buyer. In advance, draw or write (depending on the age of the child) on thick paper a list of what you need to buy. You can not draw, but cut out pictures from advertising magazines and stick them on cardboard. The baby will have a goal — to find and show the mother the right product or other product. Now the vagaries in the store will be much less. After all, the child will be busy with an important matter — he helps his mother. Prepare some stickers (in the form of stars, for example). Place them next to the pictures as the child finds what is required.
— Do not forget to praise your son or daughter if they behaved decently in the store.
If the child goes to the store
Discuss with him the necessary skills and precautions:
- what is going to buy, where and how much;
- where is it better to put a wallet (not in a pocket and not in a plastic bag), why you can’t put it on the counter, etc .;
- what to do if the money is nevertheless pulled out — to return home and tell, not to try to ask for money from other people’s adults. At home, you will analyze the situation together with the child (when and why this could happen) in order to avoid such losses in the future;
- do not count your cash and do not hide your wallet in front of many people;
- if you go for a large purchase on your own, do not put the entire amount in one place at once — it is better to distribute it in parts; in fact, it’s more prudent to go for such a purchase not alone, but with your parents or at least one or two friends;
- it is important to learn to distinguish high-quality goods from low-quality, fresh products from stale ones; know about discount opportunities — when and where to buy, etc.;
- at the end of shopping, you need to sum up the financial results.