How to become happy: 9 books leading to the goal

1. “Psychology of happiness. New Approach” Sonya Lubomirsky

Sonya Lyubomirsky, one of the world’s leading positive psychologists, has been researching different strategies for more than 20 years to help people become happier. The result was a science-based theory of happiness, which Lubomirski herself calls the “forty percent theory.”

The level of happiness (or subjective sense of well-being) is largely genetically determined. Significant events, both positive (big win) and negative (vision loss, death of a loved one), change it only for a while. And the forty percent that Lubomirsky writes about is that part of an individual’s sense of happiness that is not predetermined by heredity and that we can influence. And this is a good reason not to give up.

2. “Be happier” Tal Ben-Shahar

People have little idea where to look for happiness, says another world-famous expert in the field of positive psychology, Tal Ben-Shahar. In youth, we choose either the “wrong hamburger,” he writes, delicious and high-calorie hedonism, from which then heaviness in the stomach and emptiness in the soul, or the tasteless “rat race” for success, which will bring benefits and pleasure sometime later, or nihilism, from which nothing good can be expected either now or in the future.

And although none of us can achieve happiness once and for all, everyone has a chance to become happier by choosing the right “hamburger” – one that brings joy and satisfaction in the present and contributes to well-being in the future. Tal Ben-Shahar talks about the ingredients of the right “hamburger” in his next book, “What will you choose?”.

3. “Happiness. Lessons from the New Science by Richard Layard

British economist Richard Layard analyzes the results of numerous studies by sociologists, psychologists and economists on what affects our happiness.

Here is one of his main conclusions: taking into account the interests of other people and society as a whole not only does not reduce our personal satisfaction, but, on the contrary, increases it. That is, individual happiness without “happiness for all” cannot be complete. Unfortunately, politicians and economists do not notice or ignore the factors that positively affect our sense of well-being – trust, cooperation.

4. “Eternal euphoria. An Essay on Compulsory Happiness” by Pascal Brückner

What is wrong with the pursuit of happiness and success? And what about such generally recognized goals as a healthy lifestyle, sexual well-being? It is precisely by what is charged today as an obligation to everyone that they become a duty and an ethical principle.

“As soon as the desired becomes possible, it is immediately classified as necessary,” writes the French thinker Brückner in his provocative mini-treatise. “From now on, it’s immoral not to be happy.” The philosopher’s reasoning about money, envy, suffering and happiness excites the mind and gives a chance to reconsider the rules and stereotypes imposed from the outside.

5. “The Book of Happiness” Andrey Lorgus

The author, archpriest and psychologist Andrey Lorgus, considers fear to be the main obstacle between the human soul and happiness: “At the heart of any fear is the fear of death, it blocks a person’s ability to be happy.” The way out is faith in the Resurrection of Christ, in victory over death.

Does this mean that there is no way to happiness for those who do not believe in personal immortality? Palliative ideas about immortality – faith in the continuation of life in children and great-grandchildren, in their creations, in human relationships, faith in the good left behind. Andrey Lorgus touches on both existential questions of love and humanity, and quite mundane ones – even, perhaps, at first glance, strange ones, like this: “Do loans threaten Slavic identity?”

6. “Buddha, the brain and the neurophysiology of happiness. How to change life for the better. A Practical Guide by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

In 2002, the American neuroscientist Richard Davidson invited the Buddhist lama and monk Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche to take part in research at the Weisman Laboratory of Neurophysiology and Brain Functioning (USA). The scientist wanted to find out how meditation affects brain activity.

The results of the study amazed everyone: during a meditation session with Mingyur Rinpoche, neural activity in the brain area associated with feelings of happiness increased by 700%! Rinpoche was later dubbed “the happiest man on earth” by The Time and National Geographic. Is it possible for an ordinary person to learn to control brain activity and change the mental state at will? Mingyur Rinpoche shares his knowledge in this book.

7. “Year of happiness. Be happy. 365 exercises for every day” Isabelle Filliosa

There are many ways to work on yourself and learn to live your life. The option offered by the French psychoanalyst Isabelle Filliosa is simple and pleasant: on each page of the book there are exercises that will help you build relationships with others, make peace with the past, or better understand yourself.

For example, on one of the days the author suggests simply breathing consciously, on the other – thinking about who you admire, on the third – bringing joy to the child … To complete tasks, you need to find time, get rid of the usual cycle of affairs and focus on yourself and your feelings.

8. “The Big Book of Happiness.” Edited by Leo Bormans

If you have not found the best way to experience higher satisfaction in previous books, then you should open this book. In one of 100 studies on happiness conducted on different continents and in the conditions of different civilizations, you will definitely find a formula addressed to you personally.

However, in all these works, two common and most significant factors for the experience of happiness are repeated. This is the activity of the individual and the emotional connection with other people. In addition, the most important condition for a subjective sense of well-being is the desire for a goal and the process of achieving it (and not the desired result!).

This process involves a situation of uncertainty, and overcoming various obstacles, and uncertainty about success. Such purposefulness requires a lot of effort from us, but itself (supported by hope and optimism) inspires them, and this inspiration gives a feeling of happiness.

9. “Make our children happy. Preschoolers 3-6 years old. Primary school 6–10 years. Adolescents 11–16 years old” Compiled by Natalia Nikitina, Ksenia Kiseleva

Happy child – what is he? Developed but not overloaded. Successful, but not with the only goal to succeed without fail. Resourceful and independent, but within the limits of his age… A happy child grows, going through all stages of development at his own pace. What can we do for him? Patiently support, responding to his request for help. Give freedom, but do not leave. To love and protect, but not to hide from life.

The art of parenting happy children is the focus of the collection articles prepared with the participation of the best Russian psychologists — Svetlana Krivtsova, Irina Mlodik, Galiya Nigmetzhanova, Anna Skavitina and other Psychologies experts.