Typical situation. Monday morning. The boss is beside himself. Still: a computer failed over the weekend, valuable files of the company concerning the exhibition in two weeks disappeared. Oh, so much effort was put into the creation of these documents! But still guests are expected from abroad!
You, as the person in charge of holding the event, promised yourself so many times to make copies, just in case a fireman! Friday was the last chance. But unexpected phone calls, last-minute business, and hastily planning a trip to the countryside with friends completely knocked out all good intentions.
Now you are looking at the boss’s face turned purple with anger, shifting from foot to foot … Well, what can I say in my defense? There may be several options.
- “Sorry, Michal Mikhalych. Our new secretary Anna forgot to copy the files. She has thoughts about anything in her brain, but not about work.
- “Sorry, Michal Mikhalych. My second cousin was in the hospital, on the way there she had a flat tire, the car service was far away, the mobile phone turned out to be discharged … Oh, and you have a new suit!
- “Sorry, Michal Mikhalych. So many unexpected things happened on Friday. I was completely wrapped up and … forgot »
I wonder which option would you use? I like the third one. As the English proverb says, «honesty is the best policy.» You may object to me that honest and sincere people are out of fashion these days. In addition, they are often called eccentrics. And why? After all, a person who is always open to people and stable in his behavior should cause admiration and pride in others.
Do you know the health benefits of honesty? Here are some of them:
— frees you from the multi-ton burden of stress and anxiety;
— Protects your sleep at night;
— restores self-confidence;
— your mental well-being improves significantly;
People start to appreciate your opinion more.
Being honest isn’t always about spitting out what’s on your mind. Remember that people want to look good in their own eyes, so if you scald them with the naked truth, it can create tension in friendships, and even arouse vindictiveness and bitterness.
Some perceive directness more difficult, others easier. It has been noticed that people who successfully move through life behave differently with everyone. One uet the truth-womb in the eye, while others are approached with caution.
And it is simple and not easy to tell the truth always and to everyone. After all, honesty will require you to be responsible and courageous. Trust me, but it’s worth it! How can you still be extremely honest, while maintaining friendly relations with people? Let me offer you some practical tips.
- Talk to people in the first person. After all, honesty is an open expression of your thoughts and feelings. First, sentences with «I» will only affirm you as a person. By expressing a personal opinion, you raise your importance in your own eyes. Secondly, it will be a signal to the other person that you are speaking from the bottom of your heart, wanting to quickly and safely resolve the situation. Compare: the phrase «I’m worried about what you drink» will work more effectively and softer than «You got me with your drinking.»
- Start with small steps and gradually increase the speed. To begin with, you can hint to a colleague that it would not hurt to finalize his project. And in the evening after dinner, let your husband know that, in your opinion, it’s time to retire his favorite sweater. It will soon become easier for you to share deeper experiences with those around you without fear of their reaction and maintaining a sincere and honest relationship.
- To communicate with the most sensitive people, use at the beginning of the conversation such an introduction: «Your thought seemed reasonable to me» or «I listened to you, and you may be right.» This allows you to continue the conversation, arranging the interlocutor to yourself as much as possible. Once you’ve given the person respect and gained their trust, it will be easier for you to move on to the truthful remark.
- You should get rid of past lies as soon as possible. When you confess to another person what you have done, start something like this: “In the past, I told you a lie. I really appreciate our relationship and want to clarify…”. From the very beginning, you will soften the blow by communicating your friendship or affection.
- Do not forget that honesty belongs to the realm of positive emotions. Being honest isn’t always about telling people what you don’t like about them. Also tell sincerely and ingenuously about what you like about them: hair, smile, patience, ability to listen.
- And remember that you are not perfect, but also not the embodiment of any failures. Admit to yourself and to others that along with strengths, you are not alien to weaknesses. See yourself in a positive light and it will be much easier for you to tell the truth.
Make honesty your mainstay! Make a decision to be sincere and open, not postponing for tomorrow! And let people come to you!