How to Avoid Cheating: 3 Effective Techniques and 5 Good Reasons

Sexual lack of freedom can be perceived with hostility by the subconscious, even if initially you decided that it was all over, ate enough, that’s enough. After all, breaking the fetters, even put on voluntarily, is a natural desire for any living being.

How this desire manifests itself, you most likely guess for yourself, in one form or another, everyone experienced this sensation. A feeling of lack of freedom, irritation at its source — a partner, an exaggerated reaction to an inaccessible fetus. There are several techniques that will help relieve this tension and save the family.

No. 1. «Turn off traffic lights»

Mentally allow yourself what you have forbidden. To do this, it is not necessary to go either left or right, you can simply uncheck the prohibition box in front of this item, remove the red light without turning on the green one. I call this technique «Turn off the traffic lights.» Its effect is the same as with a real traffic light: when it is off, it does not encourage you to skip while the green is blinking, it does not make you hit the brakes on red. You simply pass the intersection, carefully monitoring the traffic and guided by life experience, rules and common sense.

No. 2. «Virtual Permission»

In order to discover the artificiality of the very desire for the «forbidden fruit», one can apply the technique of «virtual allowing», that is, start a virtual romance with the object you like. At each stage, ask the questions “and what next?”, “Why is this?”, “Where does this lead?”. Live the romance not only from the point of view of enjoyment, but also from the point of view of meanings and encumbrances, costs and dubious benefits born from this.

As practice shows, with this approach, the majority feel emptiness from interaction with the object. After all, when an emotional request is put out of brackets, it turns out that nothing really is needed from a potential partner, there is nothing to talk about, “there is nothing to live about.” The maximum that he can give is a couple of new erotic moments in the piggy bank. Is it worth the effort to conquer the object and the risks that a family man with children and obligations bears?

Sometimes we need to be simply appreciated and wanted by another person to raise self-esteem, inspiration and hormonal doping. To do this, you can exchange views with the object, having received a potential «yes», the rest is mentally passed, having earned all the badges and awards. After all, hormonal doping quickly passes, and problems in the family, even from a slight affair, begin to grow like an avalanche. Let’s look at them carefully.

1. Guilt

Spoils life and mood, deprives love and related bonuses. As long as the conscience is clear, it is difficult to assess. Understanding how good it was to live an honest person comes when the burden of guilt begins to press into the ground.

• You cannot calmly look into the eyes of your partner, you agree to the infringement of your rights. Moreover, you do it reflexively, not daring to say “no” where you used to do it easily. The burden takes on tangible physical forms.

• You do not have wings behind your back in a relationship, lightness. Your truth and inner purity no longer stand behind you as a reinforced concrete argument on the topic “why I have the right to my desires”, “I have the right to refuse” and so on.

• You cannot, without effort, confess your love to your partner and receive a reciprocal confession without an internal prick of guilt for what you have done. A declaration of love is the main source of positive emotions and hormones of happiness in the family, completely inexhaustible. This is the most valuable thing that gives a couple living with a permanent partner.

2. Destruction of pair interaction

You have to constantly compare your partner and mistress, subconsciously belittling the qualities of the first in order to justify the presence of the second. At the same time, you do not make allowances for periods that are natural for relationships, because the candy-bouquet phase cannot be compared with the “X years together + common life and children” phase.

Such a negative comparison leads to a sharp loss of respect for a partner, with a general degradation of tools for restoring relationships. As a result, the number of out of the blue scandals caused by misunderstanding, disrespect, and general irritation is increasing. There is a need to defend the boundaries through showdowns, aggression, sabotage, alcohol, because subconsciously there is no way to defend them from the point of inner dignity and right.

3. Involving children in showdowns

You will inevitably injure the psyche of children, hence the problems in adolescence, characteristic of dysfunctional families, including poor academic performance, conflict, suicide, drug addiction.

4. Reduced mutual attraction

Everyone knows very well that most of the emotional problems in a couple are solved or smoothed out through sex. Losing this tool, we get an increase in misunderstanding, possibly with a loss of empathy, emotional contact, and trust in a couple. The instrument of mutual recharging, tactile interaction, hormonal doping disappears. Sex can become a topic of scandals and a showdown, it will turn from a space of mutual acceptance and disclosure into a zone of mutual accusations, negative comparisons, coercion, coldness and violence.

5. Addiction effect

Try to tear a child away from his favorite game, and an alcoholic from a bottle, and you will get aggression, and then conflicts and scandals. The hardest thing is to stand between the dependent person and his addiction. A mistress and the pleasures received through her against the background of the rapid destruction of the family become the same addiction for a person. He will defend the right to it to the last, furiously and irrationally, regardless of the consequences. And even if the partner does not know about the presence of another woman, she is still a hindrance, which means that she is an object for aggression and negativity.

As you can see, the picture of the destruction of a marriage from the inability to go left is just flowers compared to the consequences of such a step. The client and I analyze the current stage of family relations, analyze the degree of their destruction and the possibility of restoration, extinguish the «traffic lights». With a competent approach and sufficient desire, which are accompanied by a solid choice, everything is more than possible. Some problems can be removed by realizing their true cause.

If the work with yourself is carried out qualitatively, in the course of it respect for yourself, your partner and children has reached a higher level, marriage can become even stronger. But the longer the phase of destruction of family relations lasts, the further it went in its consequences, the more work remains to be done to overcome it.

In this regard, it is much easier to stop the situation at the stage when you were only testing the prohibitions that appeared in your life or at the stage where everything was limited to one-time meetings. But even in this case, one must understand that this is walking through a minefield, because the situation does not always develop linearly, and the destruction of a family can occur even from a fleeting flirtation.

№3. «Self-esteem»

Try to tune in to the value that the family represents, to what binds and unites you. Feel respect for all family members, your joint life, way of life, achievements. Realize that respect for your partner is, first of all, respect for you, because it is your choice, she is the mother of your children. If you do not respect your choice, your loved one, your joint history, the fruits of your union, then you do not respect yourself.