Hello dear readers! The ability to argue an opinion is a very important aspect in negotiating, in business. And in general, in communication, when we strive to achieve success, or simply to receive recognition. Very often, brilliant ideas remain unrecognized only because their owner could not correctly convey their relevance and peculiarity to others.
The main nuances of dialogue
1. Listen
Yes, yes, paradoxically, but first it is worth understanding what the opponent’s position is, what arguments he cites. Hear it, and only then there is a chance to be heard in response. Why am I talking about this? Yes, because by listening to another person, we show that we appreciate his point of view, and we are interested in his thoughts. This builds a basic trust and reciprocal respect for your thoughts. If this does not happen, you can simply point out to the person that you listened to him carefully, and now it is important that he also be patient and show sensitivity towards you.
2. Give him a chance to talk
That is, don’t interrupt. This will allow you to correctly understand the meaning that he is trying to convey. In addition, while he formulates his point of view, you have the opportunity at this moment to carefully consider your arguments, which you will then give in response. Such behavior will show others that you are a reasonable person who knows how to control himself and worthy of respect. After all, you must admit that interrupting and reacting emotionally to his words will only bring the beginning of the conflict closer. Then both sides will take a defensive position, aggressively trying to prove their point, and the whole point of the dialogue will be lost.
3. Ask questions
With their help, the chance to understand the interlocutor correctly increases. And sometimes to lead him to the idea that he is really wrong. That is, noticing some inconsistencies, we ask direct questions, answering which, the opponent becomes clear about his gaps and shortcomings. And just at this moment, you can begin to express your ideas, which at the moment, against the background of it, will have an advantage.
4. Sharpness and clarity
If your speech is crumpled, with obscene words, parasitic words, or too long, it will not be able to convince at all. A well-formed proposal is the key to success. Therefore, try to speak in short sentences, but rich in meaning. In addition, remember, in an article about the basics of hypnosis, I talked about the fact that a person’s consciousness is not able to capture information if there are more than 7 words in one sentence.
This method can be used in the form of manipulation, talking to the opponent in order to confuse and achieve recognition of one’s innocence. But this is only in the case when in the future you do not have to intersect or you do not have a formed relationship. Otherwise, this method can very easily spoil them.
5.Gestures and facial expressions
To give the right message to the subconscious of the interlocutor, use open poses. I talked about them in an article about non-verbal communication. Then you can influence him, recognize his true attitude to what was said and consolidate the trust that has arisen through the manifestation of tact.
Recommendations
Emotions
Sometimes it happens that two opponents try to defend their opinion and their point of view, not hearing each other and not noticing that they are talking about the same thing. At the same time, they are both right, but they are so carried away by the dispute itself that they do not see the similarity of views. Now I will explain in more detail why this is so.
The fact is that under the force of emotions or any other factors, a person perceives a picture, an event one-sidedly, in a plane, not noticing and rejecting the fact that it is actually voluminous, in 3D format. And the same picture looks different from different angles.
For example: for someone on a sheet where a circle and a triangle are drawn, the circle is below, but for a person who is on the back of the sheet, everything looks different, and below is a triangle for him. So pay attention. Sometimes the truth is in the words of each of you, and such moments should be considered before accusing you of ignorance or misunderstanding.
Don’t get personal
For example, insulting, or giving negative characteristics. This will only increase the conflict and unwillingness to hear you. This only activates a completely natural impulse — to defend. After all, you want the interlocutor to make a certain conclusion after talking with you, and not just get angry and not want to have anything to do with you anymore?
Everyone has the right to be different and to have their own point of view.
It arose as a result of life experience, any events and knowledge, the environment in which it is located. And if you do not respect his opinion, it will mean that you devalue all the past, thanks to which he came to such a conclusion. So pay attention to your words as you begin and address a sentence. In advance, it disposes to itself and relaxes a little in a fit of argument such words as: “I heard you, only it’s a little different for me”, “I understood what you mean, it just looks a little different to me, because …”, «Thank you for explanation»…
Show interest
If you try to be tactful and attentive, but the interlocutor does not do this, before breaking loose and “going into anger”, or zealously starting to prove his own, ask why he believes that the truth is only on his side, and he values only his opinion . After all, how to understand why you are categorically not heard, if you do not try to clarify it?
There are situations that just the interlocutor is unpleasant, and causes negative emotions, so you want to provoke him to aggression. Sometimes, for various reasons, mainly because of the late living of adolescence, a person chooses the position of always going against, and whatever you say, he will support the opposite point of view.
Self-confidence is very important
Because in order for your arguments to achieve their goal, it is important to believe not only in them, but also in your right to claim them. By intonation, when the speech is quiet and with hesitation, it will be easy to “count” your uncertainty, and then they will not want to listen. Have you noticed that there are people in whose presence everyone around is silent, and even thoughts are not allowed to interrupt their speech? Train your confidence, my article here at this link will help with this.
«Yes» technique
Gradually, not directively and not aggressively, you can win over the opponent to your side with the help of one technique, a very simple one. Ask closed questions to which there will be no way to answer other than “yes”. Just paraphrase each of his statements into a question, as if wondering: “Did I understand you correctly?”, “I heard correctly, you said that …? And the more he confirms your words, the sooner his subconscious will rebuild, and he will not perceive the information received from you so negatively. And when you feel the moment that he agrees with almost everything, in the same way present your point of view, different from his, then he will have no choice but to agree on this.
Preparing Arguments
If possible, prepare in advance and find options for arguments for each of your thesis. Just fantasize about what kind of doubts you can subject them to, and prepare answers to them, then you will brilliantly cope with any criticism, and will not be caught off guard.
Method of classical rhetoric
It can be especially useful when a dispute develops into a conflict. To do this, we agree with everything that has been said, and at the end, when the situation is a little discharged and becomes more or less relaxed and calm, give your most weighty argument, as opposed to what has been said.
Practice Arguing As Often As You Can
This will develop in you the skills of conducting a constructive dialogue, as well as develop your intellect. Indeed, at such moments, the so-called “brain storm” occurs, when all the energy is directed to the processes of thinking, the search for creative solutions and ideas. You develop and become more flexible in communication, get new information, learn to see in 3D and objectively evaluate various situations.
Conclusion
That’s all for today, dear readers! Finally, I want to recommend an article about interesting features of non-verbal communication, which describes interesting tricks on how you can influence the opinion of another person in order to incline to the desired result. If you liked the article, please share it on your social media. networks, the buttons are at the bottom. Bye Bye.