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All together in one bed – it can be very convenient, especially for mom. But sleeping with a baby does not always have a good effect on dad. As well as his relationship with his mother.
Before the birth of a child, few people discuss this issue, whether they will have a dream together or not. Usually, everything is decided after: someone starts to lay the baby next to him, although initially they were going to put the baby in their crib, someone “removes” the husband, and someone, on the contrary, decides that sleeping separately is much more convenient for everyone. For a mother, sleeping in one bed is, of course, convenient – you can feed your baby without getting up in the middle of the night. But it is also unsafe: there is a risk of “falling asleep” the baby, accidentally crushing him at night in a dream. However, there is another question: how will sleeping with your child affect your marriage.
Quarrels and conflicts
Lack of sleep makes people nervous and irritable. And sleeping with a child is a guaranteed lack of sleep. Every time the baby starts crying, groaning and tossing and turning, both of you will wake up, no one can get enough sleep. Negative emotions, resentments and mutual accusations against this background will bloom magnificently, any petty quarrel will easily develop into a powerful conflict. And none of you will have the strength to help each other – only a passionate desire to sleep will remain.
Lack of sex
Immediately after giving birth, of course, it cannot be. Only a few weeks later, the gynecologist will already allow her to lead a private life. But how is this possible when there is a baby between you? Many parents are embarrassed to have sex, even when the child is just in the same room with them. What can we say about one bed. It is not surprising that in such a situation, husbands begin to feel abandoned, deprived of all the attention of their wife – and this should not be allowed.
Understanding
Yes, everything has a downside. Instead of quarreling, you and your husband, on the contrary, can become closer. If there is a mutual desire to help each other, you will turn into a real parenting team. You will definitely find the most effective way to get enough sleep, at least one by one, if you solve the problem together. Maybe you are organizing shift care for the baby, maybe some of you will be able to get a little more sleep. The main thing is together.
Communication with the child
The mother’s psycho-emotional connection with the baby is easier to establish than the father’s. And sleeping together is a great way to help a father and child get closer. After all, dad does not have maternity leave, he is forced to spend most of his time outside the house. So night is a good time. You just need to give the man the opportunity to sleep, because he still has to work in the morning.
Less anxiety
When the baby sleeps separately, many mothers begin to jump up literally every half hour to check if everything is in order. After all, with a newborn baby you worry about everything, even listen to the sounds of breathing. And when the child is near, it is not necessary to jump up. In the end, you can always attach a crib with a removable side to the parent’s bed.
Lack of time for each other
For a relationship to flourish and develop, you must have time that you spend with each other: conversations, some kind of joint activities – not only a child, sex, after all. And this can be difficult when the baby is always with you. Sleepless nights will make you grumpy, you won’t have the energy to talk. And if they do, then any peaceful conversation will quickly turn into a quarrel.
Shore Treaty
You cannot predict in advance how a joint sleep with your baby will affect your relationship. It all depends on what this relationship was like before the baby was born. It is very important to find out what your partner thinks about sleeping with your baby or sleeping separately from you with your baby. Do not assume that he will automatically agree with your decision. He may have a completely different opinion. Try to hear it, and not just push your own. Then the sleepless nights will be easier for all three.