How Psychotherapy Helps You Accept Yourself

The attitude of most of us towards ourselves changes day by day. Sometimes we accept our own “flaws” and “imperfections” without judgment, and sometimes we become self-critical and ashamed of thoughts, feelings, actions, mistakes, appearance. But if we start to purposefully learn to accept ourselves without judgment, there will be fewer and fewer such days.

Instead of treating ourselves with disdain, we can begin to sympathize with ourselves, notice in time and gently turn off the inner critic. We will stop treating unpleasant thoughts as hard facts when we see clearly that they are just thoughts that can be curiously challenged, questioned, and corrected.

Life is too short to waste time and energy trying to change what cannot be changed and not allowing ourselves to enjoy who we are and what we have. Some of us spend years worrying about what we lack, and precious time is running out.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it seems impossible to accept ourselves. Day after day, we scold ourselves for everything: for the physical form, habits, behavior. We are ashamed of ourselves, we are dissatisfied with ourselves, it is very difficult for us to look at ourselves differently — with understanding and love. This means that we need additional support, professional help.

Psychotherapy can help us:

1. Understand why we are the way we are

Perhaps, having understood the history of our childhood, we will understand that our current fears, insecurity, anxiety, suspiciousness developed as a reaction to the environment in which we grew up from the first years of life. This knowledge will help to accept oneself with all the “flaws”, and also to determine the directions for growth and development.

2. Challenge your beliefs about yourself

Often we live with distorted ideas about ourselves and do not know what we are capable of. We «absorb» these ideas for many years — at school and at home, at work and with friends.

Psychotherapists are taught to be a «mirror» in which the patient can see himself. During the sessions, a woman who considered herself weak may suddenly find that in some situations she is surprisingly strong. A man who considers himself a bore may realize that he is an interesting and creative person.

3. Practice being yourself

Therapy can be compared to a laboratory: it is a safe space where we can express those aspects of ourselves that we would like to develop. For example, the ability to set boundaries when dealing with difficult and toxic people, or the ability to show compassion for yourself even when it seems impossible.

4. Develop healthy curiosity

Psychotherapists are interested in understanding who we are and why we have become the way we are. Their curiosity is passed on to us. By examining ourselves for several sessions, we begin to become more aware of thoughts, feelings and patterns of behavior, we begin to wonder why we react the way we do.

Therapy is not an easy or quick process, but you deserve to accept yourself wholeheartedly and love. You deserve to find harmony with yourself, focus on what is important to you, brings joy and satisfaction. It’s time to stop beating yourself up for imaginary shortcomings. After all, life is too short for that.

Source: PsychoCentral.