Peace of mind slogans
From an early age, use these phrases more often so that they are deposited in the mind of the child:
- «I’m not a servant!»
- «Do not worry!»
- “How many things do you think I can do at the same time?”
- «I only have two hands.»
- “Be patient. I will do it when I have time.»
- «Now is not the time.»
- «I’m sorry, but that’s not how you ask for gifts.»
- «You can ask, but you won’t get until you say it in a normal tone.»
- «What’s the magic word?» (The correct answer is not «abracadabra», but «please»).
- «Since when did you become (a) king (queen)?»
- «We can’t do that in our house.»
- «When you have your own house, there will be your rules.»
- “I have to rest for five minutes. I ask you to be quiet until this hand — point your hand at the big clock hand — moves to this number, ”and indicate the number you need.
- “Knock before you enter this room” (This is a good rule that should also apply between brothers and sisters).
- “I will lie down for half an hour. Play quietly, or I can turn on the video, but you can’t be heard until I’m out. Understandably?»
- «Wake me up only if there’s something urgent.»
- «What does urgent mean? This is when the house is on fire or a leg is broken. Anything less important can wait.»
We firmly believe that the key to keeping your peace of mind and peace is children respecting your «space». You will do yourself a great service if you teach the children from the very beginning to understand that you are not a servant who is at their complete disposal and runs at the first call. Love them day and night, but this does not mean that you have to drop everything and sacrifice everything for their convenience.
Children, of course, do not think about it. From infancy, they are programmed to consider their parents as some kind of constant and persistent «suppliers» of everything in the world: food, shelter, clothing, knowledge, as well as defenders from everything bad. But as they mature, they must discover that their parents are not godlike beings. They need to understand that you can’t have everything you want exactly when you want it. This knowledge must begin shortly after birth, when the infant discovers that if he cries out from hunger or pain, some time must elapse before help comes to him. Parents cannot magically appear immediately on their command.
Some parents, of course, don’t think about it either, and this is a lesson they need to learn. They believe that the needs of their child are the most important thing, for which everything should be rejected, even if it is a short rest. They react to every squeak, not believing that their baby can learn to calm down on his own.
It ends up that the child cannot sleep in his own bed, but only in the bed of his parents, or he must be rocked all night long. Usually their children are very impatient and demand something all day long, and their parents are used to rushing to do everything — so long as the child does not scream.
If a child is accustomed to the fact that his every demand is followed by a response from his parents, it is extremely difficult to change anything in this scheme. So preventive measures are very important. Even before your children can understand words, they need to know that you can’t always do what they want. To help start the process of learning this, we want to offer you some useful ways to translate the ideas mentioned into phrases. Repeat some or all of them when the appropriate situation arises, then eventually their meaning will be deposited in the minds of children. By the time the little ones go to kindergarten, they will be ready to accept reality, understand your limitations and that it is not good to whine and demand too much. (Note: we do not promise that they will never whine or demand, but they will do so much less often than children of parents who do not follow this advice.)
I am a working mother of three restless children under the age of five. How long can I wait for peace and quiet?
You don’t have to wait ten years for that. Here’s what you can do right now.
Take it in turns with your husband so that each has some time just for himself on the evening of the weekend, or maybe one or two evenings during the week.
If you are a single mother, consider: maybe one of your close relatives or friends can give you a “time out”? You need rest more than married mothers.
If you and your husband or partner have a full-time job, sit down together and make a schedule that shares the responsibilities of caring for and raising children fairly. Too often we have had to make sure that the lion’s share of household work falls on the shoulders of the mother, although her work is no less important than that of the husband. Written scheduling and time management will help demonstrate that you have been spending much more time than you should (to be honest with your workload) doing laundry, cleaning, driving, and other chores.
If there is an opportunity to get outside help, use it by any means. In our opinion, parents should not feel guilty for leaving their children in the hands of kind, loving nannies. The presence of another responsible and caring person greatly improves the quality of a child’s life if he is at home. He will feel much better, calmer, spending some time with a man who replaced his mother and father, who already hardly move their legs under the burden of parental duties 24 hours a day.
If the current budget does not allow for outside help, you need to review your finances and reduce spending in some other area, directing them to providing high-quality child care. For the time being, it’s best to forego a new car or a trip to Europe if the money you were going to spend on it will buy you some time for yourself.
It rained all week. We were at home and were very bored. What treatment for this «disease» would you recommend?
To get out of the house! Go for a walk in the rain or go to some interesting and exciting place where you have a roof over your head. After all, there are museums for children, artificial skating rinks, indoor playgrounds. Of course, visiting the zoo on a rainy day is not good for walking, but some interesting and attractive exhibits for children are indoors, such as exhibitions of reptiles, insects or small mammals. (Have you ever seen a shrew? It looks like a mouse with a trunk! Your little one will love it!)
When leaving, you should not squeeze into the car with the whole crowd; use public transport for variety. On rainy days, it is especially convenient to get on the metro, because the metro network covers almost the entire city. You can also find out about short scenic train routes for walking. Traveling by train among the mist-hidden hills can be a delightful experience.
Another strategy for relaxing is to do something that is not typical for this time of year. Why not go ice skating in July? For year-round indoor ice rinks with artificial ice, the outside air temperature does not matter. The same can be said about swimming in winter. There’s something special about packing up and heading to the pool on a day when the temperature is below zero, to then dive into the warm water.
And of course there is always television. We are supporters of TV on the condition that we do not watch it for too long. Most of all we wanted to see our favorite films of our childhood. We are ready to watch them at any opportunity.
Of course, reading is the very first choice of parents for a rainy day. When buying or choosing a book to read aloud from the library, try to evaluate how it suits your child’s interests and concentration. Books with pictures and poems are suitable for both boys and girls. This book can be read over and over again. The kid will memorize almost all the lines by heart, so that later he can “read” it himself.