“Children are found in cabbage.” “If you don’t behave well, the lamb will come.” This is only a small part of the innocent lies that we were told in childhood, when we could not come up with a decent answer to a tricky question or just wanted to play. What else could we catch parents doing?
1. “So that I would not put my fingers and objects into the socket, they told me that an evil and biting uncle Tok lives there. It took me time to combine the first school knowledge about electric current with the proper name of this terrible uncle.
2. “As a child, my favorite toy was a plush monkey. I didn’t part with her and, as a result, I got so messed up and dragged so that she parted at the seams and wiped off. Foam was falling out of it. Once I forgot it at home, and when I returned from the kindergarten, my mother said that the monkey had gone to Africa to her relatives. I recently reminded my parents of this story just on my 45th birthday.”
3. “Where children come from, I did not ask, because I was sure that I already knew: they, like my younger brother, are given out in the hospital. But first, mom has to get really fat in order to prove that the family is able to feed a new child.”
4. “At the age of four, I watched a cartoon about Nemo and said that I would never eat fish again. My parents agreed with me, and since then we began to eat “Norwegian chicken”, it was quite tasty. But then the grandmother came, whom they forgot to warn, and the insidious lie was revealed. It was cod, only cooked differently.”
5. “My brother and I were still dirty, and my mother despaired of accustoming us to washing hands and daily showers. So the parents said that we had another brother who didn’t like to wash and turned into a mushroom. And they even showed a photo of this mushroom with the caption “dirty Max.”
6. “In the first grade, my father said he would buy me a dog. But only if I water the rock by our porch until it stops growing. I wanted a puppy so much that every day I went there with a watering can. And dad regularly changed the stone to a larger one.”
7. “Every night when I went to bed, my mother told me to lie down and close my eyes. But in no case do not sleep, but lie in the dark and wait for her to wash the dishes and come to read to me. Naturally, every time I fell asleep before she came. And every time her trick worked.
8. “Mom always said that I can eat sweets as much as I want, but fruits and vegetables, they are so tasty that they run out very quickly. There was always an almost untouched vase of sweets on the table, but fruits were served on the table as a delicacy, and adults ate them with demonstrative pleasure. As a result, for my birthday at 5 years old, I was really ready to ask not for a cake, but for a piece of broccoli.
9. “Grandfather said that he always knew for sure if I was deceiving him. That I have a red light on my forehead at that moment. And, of course, he really always knew – because, when I was going to lie, I always covered my forehead with my palm.
10. “They say that as soon as I learned to talk, I didn’t stop talking. Mom and dad sometimes went crazy with this flow of words. And then they came up with and declared that each person is given 10 words a month, and as soon as he uses them all, he will become silent and will no longer be able to speak. If I especially bored them, they reminded me that it was only the twentieth of the month, and I had already spent 000 words. It worked!
11. “When I was three years old, dad put a long ladder to the roof of the cottage. When it got completely dark, he called me and pointed to the moon: “I just hung it – especially for you.” Dad has been gone for many years, but I think about him every time I see the moon in the sky.”