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Confusion, panic, the inability to plan for the future — these are the first things we feel when we are fired. Sometimes other feelings appear: anger at oneself for not being able to become an indispensable specialist; aggression towards the boss — for preferring other employees. All these feelings are normal in a difficult moment — we need time to survive the unpleasant news. And then you have to internally gather and take 6 steps to a new life.
Step 1: Recognize that you are experiencing different acute feelings and emotions about what happened.
What is it? Yearning? Annoyance? Aggression? Honestly name the strongest: anger, rage, anger, fear. These feelings are considered negative, but they contain energy that will be needed later.
Write down all the feelings that are “boiling” inside in a notebook or notebook in a column, evaluating on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is the weakest and 10 is the most intense feeling. Set a date to track how your condition has changed later.
Step 2: Charge the batteries
Under stress, a huge amount of energy is wasted. Instead of this fuss, move on to activities that will calm you down and bring you into a state of fullness. You know them for sure, and these are the most common and familiar rituals. You can drink tea, take a walk at a brisk pace, take a shower. Even cakes can be a help to regain the ability to focus again on finding a solution.
Step 3: Analyze what really happened
In a critical condition, we often do not see an objective picture. It’s time to recreate it. You have already written out your feelings before, now start making a table based only on facts.
Title the first column: What happened? In it, write down the facts, avoiding words that give different shades of speech or contain an assessment. For example, you are indignant: «These brainless fools fired me unfairly.» Instead, we write in the table: “The manager announced the termination of the employment contract.” You will see how a nonjudgmental presentation of the facts will help you calm down and start thinking rationally.
Label the second column “What are the consequences?”. And again, describe only the facts, without judgments and feelings. Instead of the phrase: “Now I have nothing to live on, and I don’t know how to pay the mortgage,” write down: “My income has decreased by … rubles.”
In the third column of the table, write down the question “What needs to be done in connection with what happened?”. Formulate a specific answer — for example, «Complete the budget deficit in X rubles.»
Title the fourth column «How to do it?». Take your time with answers. Just look at what you have written and put the notebook aside, we will come back to it later.
Step 4: Protect yourself as much as possible
After the severity of the crisis has subsided, we can and should discuss with the manager all the conditions for dismissal to the maximum benefit for ourselves. It is impossible to conduct productive negotiations in a depressed or, conversely, excited state, so preliminary preparation will be required.
Based on your personal situation, think about what you can agree on. If you are formally registered, the law is on your side. Labor legislation in the Russian Federation respects the rights of an employee: you are entitled to a package in the amount of two months’ earnings, and in some cases more. Consult with a specialist and come to the head with your own reasoned proposals.
Step 5: Give yourself a break
It is necessary. Don’t be brave and don’t back yourself into a corner. As in the famous advertising slogan: «Let the whole world wait.» You need time to do nothing. Allow yourself this. Depending on the personal situation, the respite can last a week or several months. Someone can only walk in the park, and someone will go to the sea for a month.
How to fill this time depends on your condition. Some can only eat, sleep and walk. This is also normal. But if ideas come to mind about what you could do, write them down. Perhaps a little later you will find a couple of great thoughts in your notes.
Step 6Rebuild Your Environment
Resolutely remove from your contacts everyone who is negative towards you, who can potentially remind you of unpleasant moments, who have already done harm … Even if it is a third of the telephone base — do not worry: new people will appear in their place, and hence new opportunities. If close people have a negative attitude towards the fact of dismissal or unconsciously put pressure on you, temporarily limit communication with them under a plausible pretext.
Step 7: Open to Opportunities
Today the world is quite transparent: vacancies, projects, initiatives — most of the information is available on the Internet. Write down your strong qualities and skills in a column, back up each of them with a fact and an example of success. Post about your job search on your social media. Remind this to friends, former colleagues who treat you well. Go to specialized forums, become a member of communities — in a word, use the possibilities of the digital world to the fullest. Take action and you will succeed.