How not to become a grandmother (M. Rybakov)

Dedicated to my mother, who at 61 built a house, and at 63 went to the jungles and mountains of Peru.

«Grandma» is not age. And not even gender. I know «grandmothers» who are 25 and 40 years old. Including among men.

I also know people who are smart and active at 70 and older. And I respect them a lot.

Grandma is a state of mind.

For me, a grandmother is someone who:

• It has been sour for a long time and does not develop.
• Constantly whining and complaining or getting angry.
• Offended by the world that it is unfairly arranged. And other people, for being ungrateful bastards.
• It whines that we have the wrong time, country and power. And, of course, the global conspiracy is especially disturbing.
• He lives on a penny, saves, suffers. But he doesn’t do a damn thing to change that.
• Freelance? Own business? Changes in an existing business? What are you, it’s so scary. Grandmother’s motto: «Better a titmouse in the hands than a lark in the sky.»
• He cries that he is in poor health, goes to doctors and eats packs of pills. Instead of taking your health into your own hands.
• He has a fat butt, a saggy belly and a crooked posture. He cannot, bending down, reach the floor with his hands. The last time he ran at school was in a physical education class. The sea or river is always too cold and deep for him.
• He eats a lot and anything.
• He has a lot of ancient rubbish at home and at his workplace, over which he is shaking: it’s a pity — maybe it will come in handy. Well, or simply there is no strength to disassemble and throw it away. The fridge and the kitchen are full of all kinds of jars and sour nishtyaks.
• He lives according to the principles “Where he was born, he came in handy there”, “An apple does not fall far from an apple tree”. Once, a grandmother told me and Olya (my wife): “A woman is like a turnip. Where the husband planted, it grows there.
• He is all in the past: “But under the Soviet regime it was hoo! But my grandfather…”
• He infects everyone around him with his pessimism.
• He got everyone, they turn away from him. Except those butterflies.

Practical assignment

Answer honestly the question:

Are you a grandmother?

Not to me, to myself.

Of course, the world is not perfect. I could list the problems that surround us long and tediously — there are many of them. Dope — enough!

However, I like the principle:

Shit happens, but it shouldn’t define our lives.

And I try to live up to it.

Well, old Nietzsche with his «Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.»

Of course, sometimes we all become grandmas, at least for a while.

I am no exception 🙂

If I suddenly notice signs of this in myself, then I urgently do something. For example:

• I tear my ass off the chair and do exercises, yoga training, “healing impulse” and other jogging with heats.
• I am launching a new project: business and / or creative, surprising (first of all for me) with its impudence and unreality. Thus was born: my book, film, business camps, conferences and much more. Most articles appear just in such impulses. And Facebook posts…
• I’m going to learn something new. In my life, I have gone through hundreds of short and long-term studies, and now I am getting my third higher education.
• I play with my daughter and her friends: we indulge in full growth.
• I meet people who inspire me, friends, partners.
• I do something interesting for clients — from you, my dears, I get a lot of inspiration and ideas.
• I’m going on a trip: Paris, Madagascar, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Carpathians, etc.
• I go hiking with a backpack — usually in the mountains: Crimea, the Caucasus, Altai ….
• I start to engage in a new type of activity: at different times it was rock climbing, freediving, yoga, «impulse», etc.
• Trying something new, like yachting or making movies.
• Walking in nature or in a pleasant city. I love and wonder.
• I go on a photo walk: for beauty and humor.
• Reading an inspiring book or watching a movie (rare). It is only important not to break away from reality, not to go into dreams for a long time.
• I listen to music that fills me with strength and inspiration: from classical and jazz to Queen and Rammstein — wow!
• I incite others to these adventures 🙂
• And sometimes — I just get enough sleep and I’m lazy to my heart’s content. Incidentally, this is the first cure for the blues.

By the way, I noticed that Facebook, which I have become actively interested in in the last year, is a strong thing. It can both put you in the state of a grandmother, and raise you to the stars of inspiration (me and my friends). Watching what to write and read there. Well, use it in moderation.

Practical assignment

And what do you do when you suddenly realize that you have become a «grandmother»?

Learn to monitor the inclusion of this state in yourself.

Make a list of activities that get you out of it.

Do at least one thing every day!

It would be nice to understand the underlying causes — why do you suddenly become a grandmother? Then they will gradually dissolve. It is useful to work with a good psychologist.