How mutual understanding is created

Mutual understanding is the willingness to hear and understand each other. The basis of mutual understanding is Similarity, Communication and Warmth.

In order to build mutual understanding, you need to meet and communicate. Mutual understanding is established more quickly between those who communicate with each other — and is lost if and when communication becomes rarer. Communicate more and you will understand each other better. However, if you talk a lot and cheerfully during a meeting, you may have fun together, but this does little to promote mutual understanding. When meeting a person who is interesting and important to you, it is more useful to ask and listen, trying to understand his views, attitudes and habits.

Interesting: if a girl herself does not really understand herself, if her views and relationships “float” herself, then it is more difficult to establish mutual understanding with her. It is easier to establish mutual understanding with those whose views and values ​​are defined.

​​​​​​​Meetings and frequent communication help mutual understanding, but more importantly, how do you communicate, what is your communication style? Do you immediately meet a person with a smile, warm phrases, say something pleasant to him with pleasure? Note that those people who naturally treat others warmly and kindly, more easily establish mutual understanding with a wide variety of people. The lazy wait until they begin to understand them, only after that they begin to treat their partner kindly and warmly. Smart people themselves begin to treat their partner warmly and kindly, after which mutual understanding comes quickly. See details →

At the same time, mutual understanding is always easier between those people who have more similar points of view, interests, range and style of communication. Mutual understanding is difficult if people have very different points of view, positions, different family or cultural upbringing. Mutual understanding is also affected by gender differences, and it is a fact that men and women do not always find it easy to understand each other. What to do? Learn to understand each other. Get to know each other’s features, master the Total Yes and “Repeat, agree, add” technique, get rid of categoricalness, instead of disputes and pressure, listen more and calmly discuss disagreements, starting first of all with what brings you together.

For couples about to start a family, it is almost mandatory to discuss the Fundamentals of the Family Contract questionnaire, which invites you to discuss a lot of practical topics and questions that you still have to face. By starting to think together how they will equip the apartment, what the daily routine will be like, how to take care of one of them who is sick and how to react if someone scatters their things, it will be easier for you to convey to the other what is important for you and easier understand the views of your loved one.

In total, if rapport with people (or with a specific person) is important to you:

1. Communicate more. Do not interrupt communication for a long time. Try to resume communication if it was interrupted.
2. In communication, look for more similarities. Avoid topics that oppose your positions, avoid disagreements if possible, emphasize your agreement with the interlocutor (see Total YES), use adjustments in communication.
3. Give people acceptance and warmth. Do it up front, use praise, admiration and gratitude more often.