We experience the end of a relationship as the end of the world—at least initially. Is it true that time heals? It turns out, yes – three months after the breakup, we really feel better.
Some believe that at least half of the time that the relationship lasted should pass, others are convinced that a broken heart cannot be put on a timer. It turns out that it is possible – three months after the breakup, most begin to see the bright side of what happened.
The study, published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, involved 155 young adults of both sexes. They all went through a breakup 11 months ago. The majority of survey participants (71%) agreed with the positive statements “I have learned a lot about myself”, “I have grown as a person” and “I have become more purposeful and collected”.
The rejection we experience during a breakup activates the same brain regions as physical pain.
Of course, three months is a conditional period: some of us need more time to heal a heart wound, some less. Although many believe that it is psychologically easier for the initiator of the break – after all, he has time to prepare for parting and he wants it – this is not so. The study showed that it takes about three months for both parties, regardless of whether the participant initiated the breakup, to recover.
Analyzing the results, the authors of the study concluded that “it is possible that spiritual growth and positive emotions are much more important lessons of parting than was previously thought.” If we express the same idea in Nietzsche’s catchphrases, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
A breakup causes us to experience withdrawal symptoms that are similar to chemical addiction withdrawal, which is why it is so difficult to “throw” a former love out of our heads.
Previously, studies using magnetic resonance imaging have shown that the rejection that we experience during a breakup activates the same areas in the brain as physical pain. This is why common painkillers like aspirin help with heart pain as well.