There is little good in envy. Even to give it a single, precise definition proved to be an extremely difficult task, which the writer Joseph Epstein tried to cope with.
“Those of us who have ever felt the poisonous stab of envy know that it is not so easy to get rid of it. Envy may be the most perfidious—perhaps the most insidious—of all the deadly sins. It is evident that it is in this vice that people are least inclined to admit, because otherwise they will have to admit that they are, in all probability, unkind, evil and ignoble.
One thing is clear: whatever this concept includes, it is extremely ambiguous. One of the meanings: a feeling of annoyance and hostility caused by thinking that someone owns superior wealth.
The definitions given in dictionaries do not reflect the important distinction between envy and jealousy. Most do not grasp the difference between these concepts and often mistakenly consider them almost synonymous.
In fact, the difference lies in the fact that the jealous person is jealous of what he has, and the envious person is jealous of what others have. Jealousy is not always pejorative: after all, we can be jealous of social position, civil rights, or fame.
The concept of envy, except when used in a competitive sense, is always pejorative. If jealousy, metaphorically speaking, is “a monster with green eyes,” then envy is a red-eyed, oblique, and short-sighted monster. And she is never attractive or cute.
Behind envy, there must be a shadow — and sometimes something more tangible — of malice.
Although if we compare envy and jealousy, the latter is often more violent and also more realistic: in the end, sometimes the jealous man manages to cope with himself. In addition, jealousy is not always only sexual in nature. One can be jealous—and rightly so—of one’s reputation, honesty, and other good qualities. But it’s almost impossible to be right when you’re jealous: envy is, by definition, wrong.
In addition, envy must be distinguished from mere strong desire.
So, looking at people who enjoy the benefits of a high position in society, we want to be the same, or we suddenly feel keenly how great it would be to be young again; or passionately wish to be richer; or longing to be taller, leaner, more muscular, agile, and more beautiful. All of these are manifestations of desire. Envy is never so general, it is always specific — at least the kind that torments you the most.
Envious people are most often unfair. And almost always envy expresses feelings more personal than the desire for justice. Envy asks the main question: what about me? Why do others have beauty, talent, wealth, power, fame and other blessings, or, in any case, they are more generously endowed with them than I am? Why not me?
Envy almost never manifests itself openly: it lurks, intrigues, plays undercover games
Sometimes we kindly call something — someone else’s life, health, success — «enviable». In the same way, we can say: “I envy the fact that you will rest in the south of France for two months,” without hatching plans for how to disrupt this trip. Or, let’s say you say, «I don’t envy his responsible job,» and it just means that you are glad that you do not have such problems.
Apparently, there must be a word that means an intermediate link between envy and admiration, just as there must be a term for a transitional step between talent and genius. Should, but don’t exist. The language is so imperfect.
Envy should not be confused with open conflict. Suppose one has something that another desires—customers, a high position or rating, a position in the public service, a position of influence—and he fights for what he wants more or less aggressively, but openly. And this frankness changes the nature of the game.
Envy almost never manifests itself openly: it lurks, intrigues, plays undercover games. It always represents a hidden, hidden process, the existence of which cannot be proved. Behind envy, if it is qualified as such, there must be a shadow — and sometimes something more tangible — of malice.
Malice that has no name, cold but hidden hostility, impotent passion, hidden hostility and malevolence that flourishes so abundantly under the shadow of envy. La Rochefoucauld delicately opened the abscess of envy, writing: «In the misfortune of our best friends, we always find something pleasant for ourselves.» Yes, very pleasant. Good old jealousy.»
More: D. Epstein «Envy» (Astrel, 2006)