We do many things in our daily lives out of habit, without thinking, “on autopilot”; no motivation is needed. Such automatism of behavior allows us not to strain much where it is quite possible to do without it.
But habits are not only useful, but also harmful. And if the useful ones make life easier for us, then the harmful ones sometimes greatly complicate it.
Almost any habit can be formed: we gradually get used to everything. But it takes different times for different people to form different habits.
Some kind of habit can form already on the 3rd day: you watched TV a couple of times while eating, and when you sit down at the table for the third time, your hand will reach for the remote control itself: a conditioned reflex has developed.
It may take several months to form another habit, or the same one, but for another person… And, by the way, bad habits are formed faster and easier than good ones)))
Habit is the result of repetition. And their formation is simply a matter of perseverance and deliberate practice. Aristotle wrote about this: “We are what we constantly do. Perfection, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.
And, as is usually the case, the path to perfection is not a straight line, but a curve: at first, the process of developing automatism goes faster, and then slows down.
The figure shows that, for example, a glass of water in the morning (blue line of the graph) has become a habit for a particular person in about 20 days. It took over 50 days for him to get into the habit of doing 80 squats in the morning (pink line). The red line of the graph shows the average time to form a habit is 66 days.
Where did the number 21 come from?
In the 50s of the 20th century, plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz drew attention to a pattern: after plastic surgery, the patient needed about three weeks to get used to his new face, which he saw in the mirror. He also noticed that it also took him about 21 days to form a new habit.
Maltz wrote about this experience in his book «Psycho-Cybernetics»: «These and many other frequently observed phenomena usually show that minimum 21 days in order for the old mental image to dissipate and be replaced by a new one. The book became a bestseller. Since then, it has been quoted many times, gradually forgetting that Maltz wrote in it: «at least 21 days.»
The myth quickly took root: 21 days is short enough to inspire and long enough to be believable. Who doesn’t love the idea of changing their life in 3 weeks?
In order for a habit to form, you need:
First, the repetition of its repetition: any habit begins with the first step, an act («sow an act — you reap a habit»), then repeated many times; we do something day after day, sometimes making an effort on ourselves, and sooner or later it becomes our habit: it becomes easier to do it, less and less effort is required.
Secondly, positive emotions: in order for a habit to form, it must be “reinforced” by positive emotions, the process of its formation must be comfortable, it is impossible in the conditions of struggle with oneself, prohibitions and restrictions, i.e. under conditions of stress.
In stress, a person tends to unconsciously «roll» into habitual behavior. Therefore, until a useful skill has been consolidated and new behavior has not become habitual, stresses are dangerous with “breakdowns”: this is how we quit, as soon as we start, eat right, or do gymnastics, or run in the morning.
The more complex the habit, the less pleasure it gives, the longer it takes to develop. The simpler, more effective, and more enjoyable a habit is, the faster it will become automatic.
Therefore, our emotional attitude to what we want to make our habit is very important: approval, pleasure, joyful facial expression, smile. A negative attitude, on the contrary, prevents the formation of a habit, therefore, all your negativity, your discontent, irritation must be removed in a timely manner. Fortunately, this is possible: our emotional attitude to what is happening is something that we can change at any time!
This can serve as an indicator: if we feel irritated, if we start scolding or blaming ourselves, then we are doing something wrong.
We can think ahead about the reward system: make a list of things that give us pleasure and can therefore serve as rewards when reinforcing the necessary useful skills.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter how many days it takes you to form the right habit. Another thing is much more important: in any case Can you do it!