The Big Book of Happiness, a unique practical guide that will help us become happier, is published in November by the EKSMO* publishing house. 100 prominent psychologists from 50 countries of the world talk about their research. The author and editor is Leo Bormans, Belgian writer, popularizer of positive psychology ideas and columnist for our magazine. Today we publish an excerpt from the book.
You have two friends. Let’s call them John and Michael. They have no real problems, and they live in the same conditions. However, John is chronically unhappy, and Michael is unusually happy. Why are these people so different? Professor Sonya Lubomirski has been studying such cases for more than 20 years. She can advise John (and Michael!) on how to make a 40% difference.
Professor Sonya Lubomirski is engaged in experimental social psychology. Internationally recognized authority, author and lecturer, has been researching the topic of happiness for over 20 years. Studied at Harvard and Stanford Universities, works in the Department of Psychology at the University of California (USA). He is the author of the popular book The Psychology of Happiness, which outlines a scientific approach to how to get what you want.
We don’t have to obey the orders of our genes
A growing body of research on identical and fraternal twins is showing that each person is born with a specific “happiness set point”. This is the starting point, or the potential for happiness, to which he is forced to return even after significant defeats or victories. Some people are lucky to be born “not inclined to be overweight.” They can easily and effortlessly support their weight. Others, on the contrary, have to make a lot of effort to maintain their weight at the desired level, and as soon as they relax, they immediately gain kilograms. Much the same principle applies to John and Michael. Maybe Michael just has a higher happiness target, a higher potential for well-being. He does not need to make special efforts – he is just happy.
Read more:
- Sonya Lubomirski: “It’s good that happiness does not last forever”
So, if Michael’s happiness is down to genetics, then what is poor John to do? Are we doomed to constantly follow the orders of our genes? Answer: no. (…) Sustainable happiness is achievable regardless of genetics, if a person is willing to work on it. Like losing weight and staying in shape, lasting happiness requires some constant change, daily effort, and commitment: stick to your goals, avoid unnecessary thinking, invest in relationships, learn to forgive, enjoy your body, take care of your soul, do good deeds, enjoy the joys of life, and give thanks. fate.(…) In general, we believe that a given value determines only 50% of happiness, and only 10% can be attributed to various life circumstances in people: they are rich or poor, they are healthy or not, they are married or divorced. Surprisingly, 40% of the ability to become happy remains in our power. This means that John can be much happier, and Michael can become even happier than he is now.
Conclusion
- 50% of the ability to happiness is determined by the initially set value. We need to accept it.
- 10% can be attributed to life circumstances. Don’t pay too much attention to it.
- It is in our power to change 40%. Like losing weight, it requires some constant change, daily effort and dedication.
The presentation of the book will take place within the framework of the 16th International Fair of Intellectual Literature, which will take place on November 26–30, 2014 at the Central House of Artists on Krymsky Val.