The experience of psychotherapy not only helps to resolve internal problems, but often transforms the view of the usual order of things. What happens to us while working with a specialist? Cognitive therapist Marina Myaus helps to understand.
“I always ask a person if he is ready for the fact that in the course of our meetings his world may become different,” says the psychologist. – You can part with someone because you cease to be convenient for the environment, cease to agree with the imposed decisions. Perhaps you realize that you have previously pursued alien goals and desires.
An objective criterion for the success of therapy is assessed by the following parameters: depression, anxiety, self-esteem. If the condition of a person has improved, then the desired result has been achieved. There is a subjective approach: does the client believe that the goals stated by him at the beginning of therapy have been achieved?
“There are pitfalls here, because desires in the process of work can also be transformed. For example, a person comes with a request to become successful and earn more, but gradually realizes that this is dictated by the need to receive approval, respect and love. He feels unloved, and we are starting to deal with this, because the next career step will not help him.
What can happen during sessions?
- Aggravation. Before coming to a specialist, we learned to constantly be distracted by something and ignore feelings, but during the session we are forced to face the pain from which we were hiding. We feel psychologically worse and often ask ourselves the question – was it worth dooming ourselves to these sufferings?
- Resistance. There is a desire to return to the comfort zone and not change anything. “You didn’t fly on planes, suffered from agrophobia and avoided people, but you were safe,” the subconscious mind convinces. At this point, there is a risk that the person will interrupt therapy in order to get rid of the painful feelings.
- Showdown. At this stage, the image of the therapist, whom the person endowed with ideal features, collapses. Conflicts begin due to the fact that he is not attentive enough, he does not understand him well. For the first time, the client looks at the specialist as a real person, relationships with whom often turn out to be a reflection of what happens to other people who are significant to him. This conflict helps to see and understand difficult situations in a new way.
- Wavelike shifts. All psychotherapeutic work is uneven. A sharp leap forward is followed by a stop, after which a regressive turn into the past is possible. However, even a short experience of therapy is extremely important. During this period, we are faced with questions that we may never have had the strength to answer. We see the circumstances of life from a new angle.
When to end therapy?
Psychotherapy is aimed at becoming a support, an “internal parent” to oneself. At the initial stage, the therapist acts as a symbolic parent. It gives the client psychological skills that later help him cope with difficulties on his own.