How does porn change a man’s brain and tastes?

Proven content

Over 70 percent young Europeans watch pornography at least once a week. How many of them will get addicted to it? Rather single or married? Why are women in porn movies increasingly humiliated? Are there men who have high libido but are not turned on by porn? We ask dr hab. Mateusz Gola from the Institute of Psychology at the Polish Academy of Sciences, which leads a team of scientists dealing with hypersexuality and studies the brains of sex addicts.

1. As much as 70% of people use pornography regularly. young men in Europe.
2. – Sex in pornographic films is increasingly aggressive and degrading for the women portrayed there. Any foreplay and intimacy are rarely shown, there are more and more scenes of oral sex ending with ejaculation on the face – says prof. Mateusz Gola.
3. Never before has pornographic content been so readily available. We have been in contact with them almost from childhood. How will it change our sex life?
4. Many young men who have had extensive experiences with porn and masturbation at the time of sexual initiation have erection problems. A real partner is not as attractive as the hundreds of thousands of those they have seen before.
5. It’s a myth that porn addicts have a greater libido. Research by Polish scientists has shown that a mechanism similar to other addictions works here. Thanks to this, WHO (World Health Organization) may finally recognize compulsive sexual behavior as a real problem.

Agnieszka Sztyler-Turovsky: A man browses porn sites on the Internet. At what point is she supposed to say to herself, “I have a problem”?

Prof. Mateusz Gol: When, despite his sincere intention and many attempts, he is not able to limit his use of pornography.

And if he says: “I can limit it, but I don’t want to, because I like it”?

Has a problem if porn use serves to regulate emotions, escape stress and life problems. And if it has negative consequences, e.g. a man neglects family and professional duties, loses important relationships, abandons other pleasant activities.

There is safe use of porn at all?

It depends on what we understand to be safe. If you ask about non-addictive use, yes. The vast majority of porn users do not experience the difficulties I mentioned earlier. And if you’re asking about porn use that doesn’t affect us, it probably doesn’t exist. Everything we watch somehow shapes our attitudes and ideas, in this case, our ideas about sex. Especially for young people who have not yet experienced sexual initiation.

I saw a program about American teenagers before their sexual initiation. The boys were shown pictures of women’s breasts – natural and artificial, they were not told which were which. The natural ones belonged to young women, they were firm and shapely, but most boys indicated artificial ones as much prettier.

Moreover, some young men who had a rich experience with porn and masturbation at the time of sexual initiation have erection problems. Because a real partner is not as attractive as the hundreds of thousands of those they have seen before. So far, sexual experience has been for them mainly visual experience, so elements related to touch, physical closeness and smell are alien to them.

And on top of all this, there is also a shock when it turns out that their girlfriend, unlike the one seen in the movie, does not orgasm after 10 seconds?

Good question! Although in porn movies, an orgasm occurs on average more than 10 minutes later than in real life.

Now it seemed that I saw little. What I meant was, after a few seconds, her arousal might not be as spectacular as that of a porn actress, even if she’s just faking the word “action!”

I think a lot of people brought up on porn wonder why they don’t have an orgasm at the same time as their partner, why their partner sometimes doesn’t have it at all, is it normal that she doesn’t want to have anal sex, etc. The reality is different from what depicts pornography.

And isn’t reality beginning to adjust to pornography? Women want to be as passionate and open as the women seen in the movies, so they force themselves to, for example, anal sex and open up to any experiments?

Research shows that women who watch more porn are willing to engage in more diverse forms of sexual activity. And teens who watch more of her actually care more about whether they’re provocative and sexy enough for their partner than those who don’t watch porn.

Has porn changed a lot over the years? Are there trends and hits?

Porn is evolving all the time, so these changes could be talked about for a long time. The most marked change is the growing hyperrealism of mainstream porn. The porn actors in the movies distributed on VHS in the 90s looked much more like average people than those in modern movies. The appearance of most actresses and actors in today’s movies is far from average.

A sex?

He has become more aggressive and degrading to the women portrayed there. Any foreplay and intimacy are shown less and less, while more and more are, for example, oral sex scenes ending with ejaculation on the face. This, of course, inspired some pornography makers to create special videos dedicated to female audiences that show more tenderness and emphasize the pleasure aspect of female sex.

Only porn for women didn’t catch on, and for producers it turned out to be a financial flop. Why didn’t the women want to watch it?

We know very little about the female porn audience at all times. We know that about 20-30 percent of women view pornography, this percentage has increased in the last 20 years. Looking at the evolution of porn, you can see that women are looking for content that shows more intimacy, portrays a woman in a more subjective way. Some researchers point out that women prefer erotic stories to movies, but I haven’t seen any data on this in recent years.

That would explain the popularity of harlequins. What about Gray? Women read, watched and liked sadomasochistic sex?

Unfortunately, we do not have any data to conclude that, but I believe that may be the case. After all, the series of books and movies about Gray was very popular and could undoubtedly arouse fantasies and the desire to experiment with BDSM, be it with a partner or with porn. Of course, for most, such experiments never turn into a constant preference.

And what do preferences depend on? Who is susceptible to “ordinary” pornography, and who, for example, to pedophile content, zoophilia?

No one knows. There are many competing theories. Some point to the importance of early sexual experiences, others to non-sexual experience, but significant, others to the learning process. No theory has been conclusively confirmed or disproved. I think preferences may evolve. In some compulsive porn users, we see that in the pursuit of new, stronger stimulation, their preferences change from time to time. But this is not necessarily the case for everyone.

Then let’s go back to more banal pornography. Affects men’s preferences regarding women’s appearance (enlarged breasts, lips, bikini hair removal type)? Or is it the other way around – porn is a reflection of what men currently like?

It works both ways. Originally, pornography adapted to the natural preferences of men and women in an attempt to best fulfill its role of inducing sexual arousal. In a situation where it became more and more available and mass it began to shape these preferences as well. It definitely creates a specific body image of a woman and a man, but also specific sexual behavior. Interviews with teenagers who view pornography quite clearly show the relationship between the frequency of watching porn and the beliefs about what a sexual partner should look like and what sex looks like. Also, interviews with paid sex workers show that people are looking for the kind of sex they see in pornographic films.

It’s a bit sad. Is There Any Psychological Portrait Of A Porn Addict?

We checked this in our research and it looks like there is no rule. This addiction can affect people from any socioeconomic group. The amount of earnings, education, place of residence or religiosity do not matter. Pornography is now available to everyone, even through a smartphone in our pocket.

There is democracy in pornography?

The only rule is that there are five times more men than women among drug users.

How many of them all over the world use pornography and is there a division due to cultural circles, e.g. Asia is a porn manga full of violence, and North America …

We don’t have accurate data from all over the world. In some countries, access to the Internet is not as common as in Europe or North America. In many countries (e.g. China), pornography is blocked and we do not know how effective these blocks are.

We have data from Poland, but they may be understated as they only relate to computer porn use (no phones or browsers in private mode). Monthly pornography is used by at least 8,5 million people in our country (about 23,5 million from the Internet), or 36 percent. of the internet user population watched porn this month. About 70 percent. of them are men, 30 percent. it’s women. We do not have such precise data from other countries yet, but the data we do show that it is similar. All over the world, there are hundreds of millions of users per month.

Porn is as accessible today as never before. What will the adult sex life of those who had contact with her be like as children?

Regular exposure to pornography prior to sexual initiation (currently the average age of first access to porn is estimated to be around 10 years of age), shapes the belief that sex looks like it does in the movies watched. Research also shows that it is associated with greater insecurity about one’s physical and sexual attractiveness – hardly anyone looks like modern porn actors. And in a situation where a child has no other form of sexuality education, pornography is his only role model.

And the restrictive sexual education of a child, such as a sense of sin, has any effect on his future porn addiction, when he grows up?

We don’t know the answer to this question yet. Research to date shows that among men who are addicted to pornography, religiosity does not play a significant role, while among women, it does. However, we do not know what its role is in the upbringing process.

Are there men with great temperament and a successful sex life who are not into pornography?

Yes, it is. There are men who are satisfied with their own sex life and do not use pornography. Although among young Europeans, aged 18-30, more than 70 percent of men watch pornography at least once a week. I suspect that many of them are also satisfied with their sex lives.

Is it a myth that those interested in porn have high libido?

There is such a belief. For a long time it was not verified by science because it was taken for granted. One of the fundamental questions in our research was whether frequent porn use was simply associated with high libido. Not everyone is able to find a partner with whom they can have intercourse every day or several times a day, so we assumed that such people simply avail themselves of pornography. To our surprise, we found that compulsive porn users do not have more sexual arousal than average men. And sometimes they don’t have sex at all, because masturbation with porn completely satisfies all their needs. And if they do, sex in active addiction is usually associated with instrumental treatment of the partner. Moreover, porn use for these men is not related to their sexual needs. It is what I mentioned at the beginning – it helps you deal with difficult emotions, stress and anxiety. It allows you to get away from it for a while, although it does not solve your problems.

What needs to happen for a man to confuse sadness, anxiety, or boredom with sexual tension?

It is probably enough just to repeat a pattern of behavior many times in which we always deal with the tension through masturbation and viewing pornography. The mere temporal proximity of tension and pornography may lead to the conditioning of such a reaction, in which the tension becomes not only associated with viewing pornography, but even triggering the desire to watch it. The question is whether everyone is able to develop such associations and in what time. But for some porn addicts, but not all, frequent masturbation is also associated with a significantly reduced desire to have sex with a partner.

And how is it with meeting women in real life?

Our research has shown that there is no rule here. They include people who have no difficulties with establishing relationships with women and making casual sexual contacts, people in marriages, and shy people who have never formed any relationship.

Who is satisfied with virtual porn and who needs a prostitute?

We still need time to verify this with research, but we suppose that people who start looking for paid sex simply have a lower level of anxiety than those who always stick to porn.

For those fearless pornography can destroy the life of the character played by Michael Fassbender in “Shame”?

In the case of people who are looking for help, we almost always deal with a very large impact on life. McQueen’s film is a very real picture of such a person. It is not always as drastic as in this movie, but addicts almost always experience difficulties in close relationships, often their breakdown. They have difficulties in professional functioning, addiction deprives them of their passions, pleasure in life, makes them depressed and anxious.

What does it usually start with and how does it end?

At first, it’s just the occasional viewing of pornography and masturbation in the privacy of your home in your spare time. Over the years, there is an irresistible compulsion to watch pornography, when we feel bad, when we are upset or stressed, when something appears to arouse us sexually. The time and place of watching porn start to spin out of control. A person getting into addiction starts watching it several times a day, longer and longer, sometimes at night at the expense of sleep, and tired the next day. Some people start watching porn while working, and thanks to their mobile phones they can do it almost anywhere.

There are people who experience such a strong internal pressure that while at work or in a shopping mall, they watch pornography and masturbate in the toilet. It all starts to disorganize life, taking more and more time and energy. As the experienced consequences become severe, there will be attempts to limit porn use. When it doesn’t work, some people start looking for help.

And what happens in such people’s relationships, if they have one?

Many porn addicts experience difficulty in enjoying sex with a partner. Some of them begin to avoid it, and some paradoxically also feel a strong urge to initiate it, although it is not as pleasant as pornography and masturbation. We don’t quite understand this yet.

Some of them begin to have difficulties in sexual functioning in a relationship. It becomes difficult to achieve orgasm without a porn movie or without imagining scenes from a porn movie during sex. And this is a signal for them to seek help in reducing their porn use. However, some in such situations, instead of simply giving up porn, begin to believe that their sex life will be satisfactory if their partner starts acting out these scenes and persuading their partner to follow scenarios seen in the movies.

And partners start playing them?

Yes, but it also stops working, so there are ideas that these scenarios can be realized with another person, with a prostitute.

The stimuli have to be more and more hardcore?

It seems that for most people this is the case, although there are also those who settle for movies of the same category. However, most choose stronger and stronger movies, some people have a temporary fascination with some specific content, such as sex with domination or violence, then later change into another.

When all this is still unsatisfactory and continues to deepen the chaos in life and the feeling of an inner emptiness and loss of control over what is being done, then there may be another chance for a desire to change in a different direction.

Can you change anything?

Yes. In addition, after just 2-3 months of stopping pornography, the functioning of the sexual relationship improves and the pleasure of having sex with a partner or partner increases.

How is such an addiction treated?

There is no one generally recognized model for the treatment of addictive sexual behavior. This is because the topic is fairly new and has not been the subject of research until recently. Therefore, compulsive sexual behavior is not yet included in any of the international classifications of disorders. Therefore, they are not taught in the course of therapeutic studies and training.

So, theoretically, the problem does not exist, and practically – psychologists and psychiatrists experiment on patients?

Often times, a psychologist or psychiatrist may feel that this is not a real clinical problem. This state of affairs is changing – among others thanks to the research conducted by our team. The World Health Organization has highlighted compulsive sexual behavior and is considering adding it to the next classification.

For now?

There are many therapeutic models and they are associated with different methods and goals. Sometimes the goal is to regain control over sexual behavior, other times to abandon certain behaviors or complete abstinence. You can choose individual, group therapy, which is often based on the 12-step model known from Alcoholics Anonymous therapy, or self-help groups operating on this model, for example Sexaholics Anonymous or Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. We do not yet have any scientific data to establish which model is effective and for whom, what is the relapse rate. We are trying to investigate this. In our research, we propose free pharmacotherapy, i.e. an approach based on drugs selected in accordance with the mechanisms of compulsive sexual behavior established in previous studies.

What are these drugs?

One of them was previously used in the treatment of alcoholism, the other in disorders related to an increased level of anxiety and compulsive behavior.

Did something surprise you during this research?

That compulsive porn use is not a question of a higher higher sex drive. And that it is not an obsessive-compulsive disorder, nor is it a general problem with behavior control. It turned out that a mechanism similar to other addictions works here. It hadn’t been so obvious before.

Another surprising thing is that pornography is just as exciting to an addict’s brain as it is to the average user. And one of the key elements of compulsive porn use is being highly sensitive to what the porn addict has associated with. It is these learned cues that cause an irresistible urge to turn to porn and lose control over behavior. And they differ in the functioning of both brains. Our research contributes to the fact that the World Health Organization may recognize compulsive sexual behavior as a real problem.

Do you need to temporarily give up sex when treating porn addiction?

Some therapists say yes, some say no. There is no clear answer to this question. I think a lot depends on the individual pattern of compulsive behavior. Most often, a return to controlled porn use is not possible, so complete abstinence from it is imperative. Sometimes it is necessary to temporarily abstain from any sexual activity, for example when relationship sex has always been associated with fantasizing about scenes seen in porn movies. But as I mentioned, there is no single rule.

Such a man’s partner takes part in therapy?

Usually not. For many partners, including women who are addicted to sex or pornography, it could be very devastating to hear the details of a loved one’s addictive behavior. On the other hand, the partner is almost always involved in this therapy in some way, because it concerns sexuality, which is the sphere experienced in the relationship for two.

Are women moving away from or sticking to porn addicts?

We do not yet have any statistical data on this. Some people seek therapy because their partner has decided to leave them. Others are still in relationships. Symptoms of co-addiction can also be seen in partners of a porn addict.

Watching Pornography Changes Your Brain? By scanning a man’s brain, you will know that he is addicted to it?

This is the main question that we try to answer in the research conducted by our team. People who want to help us, I cordially invite you to participate in them (rekrutacja.hiperseksualnosc.pl). We have now found that the brain of porn addicts is different in terms of how it functions than that of problem-free porn users. We do not know, however, whether these differences arose from porn use or whether they existed before and were the cause of this addiction. It is very important to establish this. We are currently conducting a study with free therapy. Its participants can check the functioning of the brain before and after therapy. This will allow us to see if the so far observed differences between the functioning of the brain of a compulsive addict and the average porn user change during porn withdrawal. If so, this would be evidence to support the claim that pornography actually changes the brain.

What happens if a male porn addict falls in love? No need for porn for a while, or still use porn, but with guilt?

Great question! Many men who are addicted to porn actually experience a decline in their interest in porn, or no need to watch it at all, in the first stage of their relationship. This is mainly because the relationship with your new partner is exciting, it’s kind of a challenge. For some people, the first sexual contacts with a new partner are very stimulating, but some have problems with them – for example, they are unable to reach orgasm because real sex is not as stimulating for them as pornography and masturbation. Then, during intercourse, there is a need to recall scenes from pornographic films. Still others have erection problems in real sexual contact. However, regardless of whether sex in a relationship is successful or not, after some time, usually several weeks, porn addicts return to it. And over time, pornography and masturbation begin to dominate sexual activity again. Because sex with a partner is not on demand, it requires patience, it cannot be always had when we feel stressed, angry or sad. Pornography and masturbation are always at your fingertips.

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If you feel that you have a problem with pornography, you can apply for treatment to a team led by Dr. Mateusz Gola, more on the website: rekrutacja.hiperseksualnosc.pl