By accepting your appearance, a person automatically becomes more self-confident, psychologists say. But how can we love ourselves for who we are?
Loving your appearance with all its features, wrinkles and folds is easier said than done. It seems that today, when we are surrounded on all sides by photos of «ideal» models and celebrities, it is especially difficult to do this.
We understand that a whole team of make-up artists, stylists, photographers and lighting worked on their images, often created just for the sake of a picture. We know that the frame was chosen from hundreds of other, less successful ones. And yes, we remember the miraculous power of Photoshop. And yet, for many of us, it’s hard not to compare ourselves to the flawless heroines of the photo shoots that the media and advertising billboards are willingly palming off on us.
So, it is almost impossible to fully comply with modern ideals of beauty. Why, even realizing this, do many still strive for this? “Perhaps because beauty in our society is equated with success,” says psychologist Larisa Karnatskaya. “Whether we realize it or not, a person who is attractive on the outside gives us the impression of being successful and in demand, even if in fact he is not. That is why it is so important for many to live up to the imposed ideals.”
The inability to look the way society prescribes can greatly undermine self-confidence. “After all, the acceptance of appearance is the basis on which our self-esteem is built,” recalls Larisa Karnatskaya. — The formation of self-confidence begins in childhood with a good relationship with one’s own body. And later other components are added. That is, first: «I’m beautiful.» And only then: quick-witted, talented, kind … «
Women feel more pressure than men. And teenage girls are especially susceptible to worries about their appearance. For example, an international study conducted in 2005 by the Dove brand showed that 92% of girls would like to change at least one aspect of their appearance. At the same time, the majority (60%) are dissatisfied with their weight, despite the fact that in reality it is only 19% above the norm.
“In adolescence, when an identity crisis occurs, it is especially important to feel “correct” physically,” the psychologist comments. “That’s why girls are especially dependent on the opinions of others.”
How to love your body?
- Move more. Dance to your favorite music, go for a walk, or do something else that gives you pleasure. The better you feel your body, feel its strength and mobility, the less discontent you have, imposed from the outside.
- Find your old photos that you like. If at that time you were dissatisfied with something in your appearance, and now you understand that you looked very good then, then try to reconsider your attitude to how you look. Is it really bad what you focus on? It will be a shame only after a few years to find that today you looked good, but spent a lot of energy on dissatisfaction with yourself, instead of enjoying life.
- Thank your body. It has been through so much! She worked, did housework, possibly carried a child. True, it would be strange if it always remained the same as the retouched bodies of models in magazines?
Wellness coach Nadya Andreeva offers a simple exercise: write a love letter to your patient, reliable, silent body that you live with all your life.