How do you get to the heart of the problem with a picture?

Let’s imagine that something incomprehensible is happening in the family: the husband and wife have moved away from each other or each closed in on himself. It is difficult to start a conversation, and it is even more difficult to “pull out” some nuances from a partner.

Art therapy will help solve the problem. Of course, there is a chance that you will face rejection by asking a depressed family member to act out something. But you are lucky if there are children in the family — you can “blame” everything on them and turn the lesson into a fun game.

Suppose a husband is dissatisfied with something and at the same time is laconic. Perhaps this behavior is not even related to you — a person may have problems at work with which he does not want to “load” anyone.

So, we take pencils, paints or felt-tip pens and begin, “devoting time to the child”, to draw together.

“Everyone portrays a family. It is best that people are the heroes of the drawing, — recommends family psychotherapist Victoria Bekieva. — You can do it in the format of the game, sorting out the details, comparing and discussing. If we are talking about a husband, then the wife looks and talks about her general impression of the drawing. What does she feel when she looks at him: happiness, discontent? She needs to analyze the drawn images of herself and her husband.

Is it possible to tell from the picture that a person is happy in a couple? Everything is quite simple here: the mother is happy, but the father is not, or both are sad, and so on.

The size of the people in the drawing often reveals a lot: a husband can draw himself small, and his wife large. Most likely, in such a marriage, he considers himself helpless and wants to evade something, hide and hide.

A schematic representation of one of the family members — «stick, stick, cucumber» — may indicate an unstable emotional state of a person. He doesn’t want to let anyone near him.

It is also important where the drawing begins. If a person first draws the head, and then draws the body, everything is fine. If there is only a head, but no body, then there are problems in the relationship in the sexual sphere.

“If there are “many” bodies, then there are probably some physical impulses. But all situations must be considered individually, says Victoria. — When the head is turned away from the wife, it means that at this stage, communication is alarming, there is a desire to be distracted, for example, by social ties. Looking straight ahead? This means that the person is open to communication. Did the author pay much attention to his face? So, too concerned about appearance. And a figure with unclear outlines, pale lines betrays shyness and fears.

If the eyes are directed to the side or closed, then the author of the drawing does not want to see something. A large number of strokes in the body indicates anxiety — a person is hiding something and does not finish speaking.

Large shoulders and body are a preoccupation with power. The person feels the need for it. If on the contrary — underestimation in a relationship. Sad and sloping shoulders — a state of despondency, guilt and lack of vitality. If the drawn person does not have a neck or it is somehow disturbingly painted over, this is a conflict between reason and feelings.

Crossed arms symbolize a hostile mood. Hands in pockets — this is a desire to have sex or an unwillingness to give in. Hands on the sides — it seems to a person that everything is out of control. Hands are pressed to the body, like a soldier’s — difficulties in communication.

“A person draws dolls when he feels his own insignificance: he has to play someone else’s games and agree with other people’s decisions,” explains the psychotherapist. — For a more complete diagnosis, you can ask questions about the couple: what would this character want, what does he need. Ask them to write a story about this family. This is a very exciting process, it brings people together.”

Dragons and dinosaurs in children’s drawings

Does such creativity always indicate a problem? Perhaps the reason is in the popular characters of cartoons and books? They are easy to find in the toy store, they are presented in different colors and types, they are in great demand.

“This is not the worst option,” says Victoria. — A kind of dependence on the mother, the inability to disconnect from her. Figures and books with cartoons have nothing to do with it. Symbolism is important: who does your child draw? Each child chooses for himself some kind of image: trains, cars or dragons.

game with mood

How to influence your mood with the help of art therapy? What to draw to change anger to mercy, and anger to benevolence?

“For example, you came tired from work or someone offended you,” says Victoria Bekieva. — Take paints, brushes, water and depict your depressed mood. Watch, discuss, tell. Or throw everything on paper, and then send the drawing to the trash can — it also helps. The main thing is to “pull out” the negative from yourself. The second method is to imagine in detail something wonderful, for example, a flower, a meadow, a house. Then sketch the natural landscape.»

How can drawing help in specific situations?

You are «nervous»

Something bad happened, every day you live with negativity, which is very disturbing. You would love to get rid of it, but you don’t know how.

“Advice — draw a feeling,” says Victoria. “Basically, it’s just one. First we get rid of the bad, then we grow the good in this place: flowers, grass. There are also more complex methods. For example, a person has increased anxiety, but he cannot understand what is happening to him. You should stay in the room alone, turn off the light, relax, breathe. Ask yourself questions: what worries me? What’s stopping you? The image will automatically pop up. Watch it for a few minutes and start drawing. Realize that any feeling must end with an action, and you complete it with a drawing.

The child comes home from school sad

If you are sure that the problem is in the school, then you need to ask to draw it or the class in the form of a flower meadow. It is not clear whether the problem is with the director, the children or the teacher? We ask the child to show where he is in the picture, where are the teachers, classmates, and see what he will tell.

“On the one hand, we carry out diagnostics, and on the other hand, we work through and pull out what excites us,” explains the family psychotherapist. — The second image that works with children is to imagine a volcano and depict it. Then we will release the hidden aggression. When there is a lot of fire in the drawings, it means that there is a lot of anger in life, something is boiling inside.

Wife/husband doesn’t want sex

Wanted before or not? What could influence? Perhaps there was a child? The reasons can be very different.

“Ask to pretend sexual desire,” says Victoria. “Look: what color, where is it, what is it reflected in, where is it sublimated or hidden.”

If the color is red, orange or yellow, everything is normal.

Black — loss of strength, despondency.

White — rather indifference or difficulty in expressing feelings.

Blue is a sad mood.

Green — the problem is in the partner.

Husband became secretive

Where did the trust go? Ask to draw a non-existent animal. The diagnostic criteria are the same. Further: where he lives, what he loves, whether there is a family nearby, what he wants, how he takes care of himself. Through this being, we pull out all the feelings.

The child does not stay with the nanny

“The drawing of a family and a woman who looks after a child will help to understand the reason,” explains Bekieva. How will he portray her? Be sure to ask questions: why is she here? Why does the boy/girl not want to see her? If you ask these questions directly, prohibitions may work, for example, from the same nanny. Through the drawing, everything breaks through.

You don’t love your job

Make a drawing of «Me and my work» and then ask yourself questions. What connects? Disconnects? What can help? You don’t like the very functions you perform? Or some colleagues? Perhaps you don’t like an office building, or are you annoyed by a long commute?

For every problem there is an image and a way to solve what worries you. The main thing is to splash everything on a piece of paper. Some people find it difficult to write and choose words. Or you just don’t want to and are too lazy to “publish” several volumes about sore issues. In this case, art therapy is the best assistant.