How do we really feel about fashion?

Boutique windows, magazines, TV screens, the Internet – today fashion trends are available to everyone … but not all of us easily accept them. And here it’s not about personal taste, age or financial capabilities – our appearance helps us define ourselves and says what exactly we want to show to other people. Do we give clothes only a practical meaning or do we put them on to please? Do we want to use a creative fashion palette or does it still confuse us?

Fashion confuses us

“Every season I buy fashion magazines and go shopping, pointless and merciless,” 39-year-old Irina jokes sadly. Her closets are hard to close, but she mostly wears jeans and turtlenecks. “I lack determination,” she admits. “As a child, I wore my sister’s things and, to be honest, I still don’t know what suits me.” How to learn to be attractive to someone who was not allowed to show himself in a favorable light? “Our sense of self has to do with how our parents viewed us as children,” recalls personal stylist Isabel Thomas. “A girl who has been dressed “practically” rather than beautifully will have to learn to build her “I” on the basis of other models.

To get comfortable with trends, you need to be good to yourself. “The more confident we feel, the more we are ready to dare,” continues the stylist. Color is a sensitive barometer of our mood. For example, red, a symbol of energy: “Having experienced some kind of personal drama, many stop wearing it. And they return to red when the balance is restored.

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What to do? Start with accessories

Dressing ourselves is the same as taking care of ourselves: applying cream, then makeup and fragrance, carefully choosing an outfit, enjoying the fact that we take care of ourselves and others like us. Copying pictures from fashion magazines is pointless. Before you start mastering fashion trends, it is better to throw out of the closet all those clothes in which we do not recognize ourselves as we like ourselves. And then gradually begin to change, updating those things, the choice of which confuses us the least. For example, pick up accessories: jewelry, shoes, a bag or a neckerchief … And regularly remind ourselves that we always have the right to make a mistake.

She annoys us

“Victims of fashion” are far from always those who are usually called that. Those who desperately deny it spend a lot of energy on it. Milena, 42, the head of a large Internet project, wears only the same type of black trouser suits: “I’m not going to show off to anyone, expediency comes first for me. And I don’t care if someone doesn’t like it.”

Today, when fashion designers offer us as many outfits as we have desires, turning away from fashion showcases means revealing your fear of becoming addicted to appearance and inability to freely play with different looks. “It will be useful to ask ourselves the question of whose, in fact, look we see ourselves when we dress, says Isabelle Thomas. “We are never alone in front of a mirror: unconsciously we evaluate our outfit also through the eyes of our parents, friends and acquaintances …” Maybe a fashionable dress revived in an adult woman the memory that her mother treated her like a doll? Or maybe some bright thing will cause the sister’s envy? Sometimes it is difficult for us to take risks and attract other people’s views. But playing with fashion is also a way to free yourself from their power and feel like a full-fledged woman.

What to do? Play with the rules

Although thousands of people obediently follow the dictates of fashion (and often look the same), there are so many options that each of us may well show our creative abilities outside the norms, which are very arbitrary here. Moreover, we do not define our style once and for all, it is constantly changing. If the introduction to fashion did not go too smoothly, you can use other sources of inspiration – films, paintings … Mixing current and classic details, reshaping clothes, focusing on original accessories – all this means creating your own style.

She gives confidence

Buying clothes and accessories of famous brands, we seem to rank ourselves among those whose appearance and taste seem impeccable to us. “As soon as I could, I started saving for Chanel flats,” admits Marina, 32, a translator. – Then – on the Hermès bag. Husband says I chase brands. And he’s right. So I feel that I am no longer a poor student who once came to a big city from the provinces, but a successful woman.”

Does the image, composed of “branded” details, indicate that a person lacks a sense of his own value? “A brand-name item can give someone who has never looked at himself with sympathy the illusion that he finally deserves it., – confirms Isabelle Thomas. “But if a woman neglects her appearance or walks like a gray mouse to go unnoticed, this can just as well indicate a lack of love.” A fashion brand’s band-aid won’t heal that wound, especially if the outfit doesn’t really suit our face or body. Is it necessary to abandon the cult model of a bag or shoes created by an eminent designer because of this? Not at all. We have the right to pamper ourselves. After all, fleeting love can bring pleasant moments. Just do not deceive yourself and expect more from the purchase than it can actually give …

What to do? Dare to wear unique designs

Fashion is not only in big stores. There are also shops with vintage items and boutiques of fashion designers known only to a narrow circle of connoisseurs. And these clothes don’t have to be expensive. Another option is to use the services of a clothing and footwear designer site (for example, easytiger.ru, shoesofprey.com), where you can come up with the design and colors of the product yourself. Or find a good seamstress who is ready to help in creating a style and choosing a fabric … and enjoy your uniqueness.

Fashion fascinates us

How do some people manage to combine current silhouettes and colors so easily and elegantly and still be themselves? According to 38-year-old Lyudmila, a lawyer (she is dressed in high-waisted wide burgundy trousers, ocher suede boots and a yellow-and-blue checkered coat), this is just a matter of personal interest and self-confidence: “For a long time I did not dare to go beyond work dress code. But now I’m looking for my own style, I understand better what suits me, and I’m less and less afraid of critical views.

It is easy and free to wear your clothes – it means to feel free. We can accept or not what fashion offers us. Wear what we want and the way we like. “But at the same time, our life requires us to comply with dress codes, rules and regulations,” says Isabelle Thomas. – Our clothes are not only a way of self-expression, but also a certain form of politeness, social interaction. We still “meet each other by clothes”, and therefore it is easier for us to find contact with other people when outwardly we do not conflict too much. Therefore, it is worth remembering that different clothes are good in different circumstances, and not needlessly provoke confusion in your interlocutor.

What to do? Decide according to the situation

There is no need to dress up as someone we are not. But if clothes are the message we send to others, we are unlikely to wear the same suit when we go to a job interview, a romantic date, or a meeting with school friends. We choose our clothes depending on the situation and mood. But the opposite is also true: by wearing things that we feel good in, we set the right tone for all subsequent meetings!

* I. Thomas, F. Veysset “You’re so French! Cultivate your style” (Editions de la Martiniere, 2012).