Since childhood, we have been accustomed to take the rules of life in society for granted, absorb them and obey them. And that is why we are embarrassed and even frightened by the “unacceptable” thoughts and fantasies that sometimes visit us. But this does not mean that we are vicious, says psychologist and writer Leon Seltzer.
It’s time to look at our «dark side» in a new way. What do we mean by talking about her? As a rule, pronounced anti-social instincts: lust, aggression, all those low, bloodthirsty inclinations that are hidden inside us and can destroy our lives and the lives of other people, if we succumb to them. We imagine murder, rape, beating, betrayal, theft, sadism, excessive greed, incest… But perhaps our darkest fantasies are not so terrible. Rather, they can be called brash, frivolous, primitive or hedonistic.
In The Dissatisfaction with Culture, Sigmund Freud argued that a civilized society protects individuals from personal chaos, from manifestations of the immoral unconscious. Authorities protect us not only from other people’s lower instincts, but also from our own. However, this causes dissatisfaction, because for the sake of a harmonious life in society, we are forced to suppress our basic needs and desires.
Freud, of course, simplifies the situation, although in some ways he is certainly right. But even if we sometimes imagine what it is like to follow our natural inclinations without interference (not paying attention to others), to imagine and to do are still different things.
We live in a society, one way or another we count on each other, we need strong ties and are not at all disposed to turn others against us. We do not allow ourselves to make our fantasies come true, but just dreaming is another matter. Dreams of revenge, power, or excessive sexual activity bring us compensatory satisfaction.
Allowing our «dark side» to manifest in fantasies, we briefly take a break from daily socially acceptable behavior, get rid of the framework of self-discipline, to imagine a world where our desires, even the most scandalous and anti-social, come first.
Although the Shadow is considered the repository of the dark urges of man, it is the place where creativity is born.
So, the «dark side» embodies the most primitive instincts aimed at seeking pleasure and power. But is it to be zealously shunned and rejected? It is based on the desires and needs inherent in any of us from birth. So, maybe we should finally recognize the value of bloody or erotic fantasies as a safety valve of the psyche?
Dreams help us, at least in a hidden form, to express desires and needs that are impossible or dangerous to implement. Such dreams do not have any destructive potential, so they cannot be considered «dark» or «perverted». For the same reason, by the way, horror films or many series (for example, Dexter) are popular.
In the end, we are all animals, and suppressing the instincts of distant ancestors is our conscious choice. Between primitive pleasures and socially acceptable behavior, we choose the latter because we understand what the consequences of our actions will be.
But to maintain balance, we need to somehow (directly or indirectly) express ourselves. And there is no need to give up «forbidden» thoughts, because they are only a small part of our natural essence. To fully accept your human nature, you must also become aware of your «dark side» (which is actually not so dark). As Carl Jung said: «Every person has a Shadow, and the less it is included in his conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.»
Moreover, Jung believed that «although the Shadow is considered the repository of man’s dark impulses, it is the place where creativity is born.» Indeed, creativity is free from habitual restrictions, it explores and expresses hidden desires and instincts. What makes a work of art great is its versatility. And it is provided by a connection with our deepest manifestations — not only unsightly, but also positive, worthy and even noble.
About the Author: Leon Seltzer is an American psychologist and author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy.