How cooking, cleaning and repair help to survive quarantine

Once in self-isolation, we lost very important things: freedom of movement, the ability to successfully build a business and spend time in the usual way.

“Of course, when something is taken from us, we experience stress. This is normal: we are used to a certain way of life, and we do not want to part with it. We get upset and angry because we can’t satisfy the need for stability and predictability right now,” says psychologist, schema therapist Maria Skryabina.

But we did get something. “We slowed down, returned to daily contact with each other. We do not waste time on traffic jams, daily fuss, endless meetings, taking children to circles. Now we can spend this time on ourselves, on our own “temple” – both internal and external – our home, ”the expert recalls.

At home, we are able to satisfy the basic, evolutionarily significant needs that our psyche needs and that we used to satisfy outside our own apartment.

“Everyone has needs – for connection and security, for competence and for a sense of confidence. We need creativity and creation, care, expression of emotions. And cleaning, cooking, life planning are nothing more than routine, daily ways of expressing love and respect, ”explains Maria Skryabina.

Household chores can quarrel us, but they can also become a link that will unite loved ones, help to get to know each other better. We will tell you why these simple and familiar actions are useful and how they will help our body and soul survive isolation without loss.

Getting ready to relax

“Food has long been considered a source of joy. Food has always been a symbol of prosperity – let us recall the descriptions of Roman feasts and royal feasts, ”recalls Maria Scriabina.

Cooking and eating the dish you have long dreamed of together means satisfying the need for creativity, enhancing the sense of community between family members. Dumplings turned out to be the main hit of the “quarantine cuisine”: judging by the photos on social networks, only the lazy did not try to cook this dish together with the household.

“Making dumplings is a real meditation! Feeling the texture with our fingers, performing simple actions, we give the brain a rest, do not wear it out with disturbing thoughts, ”says the expert.

Parents who now have to cook a lot (because no one canceled breakfast, lunch and dinner) are often upset that because of the endless cooking of borscht, they do not have time to play with their children. But a joint culinary experience can “pump” the relationship with the child better than the most cunning “board”, and here’s why.

“In a board game, we compete with each other. It happens that children get upset, it is hard to endure losses. When we make dumplings or cut vegetables for soup, we do something together, together. We are not competitors here, because we are focused on one task: to feed ourselves, work with our hands, do something cool, relax and chat,” Maria Skryabina is sure.

Getting out to keep ourselves in good shape

We are sad in isolation also because we lack movement. Not everyone wants to study at home: for someone it is important to feel the atmosphere of the hall, and even in the apartment there may simply not be enough space for classes.

“Now we can’t walk, run, go to the gym. But moving furniture, running around the apartment with a vacuum cleaner, carrying a bucket of water is quite within our power. And this is a great load for our joints, blood vessels, muscles. Physical exercise causes the release of endorphins and adrenaline, which act on the brain structures responsible for mood, ”recalls Maria Scriabina.

And let group programs in fitness clubs wait! It is well known that our physical health is directly related to our psychological health. We can heal our own soul if we find an activity that we like and leads to visible results.

“In those departments of psychiatric hospitals where patients with a neurotic spectrum of disorders are located, occupational therapy is provided. Not because there is no one in hospitals to clean up the fallen leaves, but because fresh air and physical labor are good for apathy, anxiety, melancholy. Of course, this method is not used in acute conditions, but patients with mood disorders can benefit from it, ”says the psychologist.

We repair to become masters of our lives

Once in isolation, many took up hammers, saws and brushes. Spending time surrounded by crumbling furniture and bubbling wallpaper, or watching a couple of tutorial videos and getting some hands on? It seems the choice is obvious.

“Usually we do not have enough time for minor repairs. In addition, we assume that someone will come and save us: fix the broken door, paint the walls. And calling a specialist in everyday life is a very sensible decision. Now these simple actions will not only make the house more comfortable, but will also help us satisfy the need for competence, because we do something with our own hands, we can handle something ourselves, ”says Maria Skryabina.

Since minor repairs are still more difficult to perform than regular cleaning, the satisfaction from the results will be higher. “When we get what we want, we feel joy. When we cope with a difficult task, a large release of dopamine occurs in the body, and the brain fixes this experience as a positive one, ”explains the expert.

We want to do it again and again! Where did the jigsaw go?!

Influence what is within our control

Our world is now in an unstable position, and we cannot influence it. But actually it has always been like that.

“For thousands of years, mankind has faced various dangers: either a predator will attack, then lightning will strike, then a drought will happen. But people fought the sense of helplessness in their tribes and villages by working together. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house help us not feel so vulnerable. We understand: “Wow! Although I don’t influence anything now, I can actually take care of myself, ”says Maria Skryabina.

The psychologist reminds us that manual labor will not do us any good if we treat ourselves and our skills too critically. Do not scold yourself, make unrealizable lists, make excessive demands on yourself.

It is worth distributing household chores taking into account the wishes of those who find themselves in isolation with you. If the daughter hates to wash the floor, and the husband does not like dismantling cabinets, you should not force them to do just that: it’s better to wipe the shelves from dust or iron the linen.

“We should not impose this or that housework on each other. In corporations, the manager looks at each person and gives him a task according to his strength. And now, when we have become managers of “home corporations”, we should be reasonable about the tasks that we set for “employees,” Maria Skryabina believes.