My name is Richard Evans, I’m a writer, but I want to talk about what happened in our family, without fantasies. And things were bad with Carrie, very bad. We may not have matched each other in character, but she and I constantly fought hard battles. We fought and fought and fought and fought. Divorce seemed inevitable.
When we once again terribly quarreled on the phone and that is, and were thrown from both sides, I just burst out. I no longer had anyone to yell at, I just yelled out of wild rage. The thing is, I didn’t want to get divorced. I still knew that Carrie is a good person, I naturally keep quiet about myself, so why can’t two good and loving people get along together?
I yelled, tired and almost fell asleep. And then, almost in a dream, the thought came to me: what if we conduct the last experiment? Anyway, there is nothing to lose … I smiled and after that I fell asleep already soundly.
The next morning I woke up with a smile, got up and went to the kitchen to Carrie. She was cold and did not even deign to look at me. Well, please! I even had fun. So I asked her:
How can I make your day better?
Carrie looked at me angrily.
— What?
How can I make your day better?
“No way,” she snapped. — Why do you ask?
“Because I’m serious,” I said. “I just want to know how I can make your day better.
She looked at me a little mockingly.
— Do you want to do something? Great, then clean up the kitchen.
She thought I was going to explode with anger, and I nodded: «Good!». Then he went and cleaned the kitchen. Well, what do you say after that, dear?
The next day she was still cold, but I asked the same thing: «How can I make your day better?» She replied without turning her head: «Clean out the garage!».
Actually, I was up to my neck, Carrie knew this, but I had no options anyway, and I was ready to go to the end. Fuck them, my business, my Carrie is dearer to me, so I smiled at her and said: «Good!». The garage took me two hours. Not scary. Well! By the way, it seemed to me that Carrie was puzzled.
The next morning was gloomy, but my mood had already become perky. «How can I make your day better?» I asked Carrie, moving closer to her. She took a step back and said, “Nothing! There’s nothing you can do Don’t make fun of me and stop it!»
I paused. And then I took her hands in mine and told her that I would not stop doing this, because I promised myself to do this every day now and because I love her. “I will live with you and I will ask every day what I can do for you. And I will do what you tell me, because you are dear to me and I want to live with you. And until you divorce me yourself, every day I will meet you with a smile, flowers and the question “How can I make your day better?”!
By the way, I started bringing flowers home from the first day I made my decision.
Carrie remained silent and averted her eyes. The next morning, I approached her again with a smile and asked, “How can I make your day better!” Carrie answered a little automatically, but she answered! I continued to do this the next morning, and the next, and about the middle of the second week, a miracle happened that I really expected. I was sure it would happen — and it did! This time, at my question, Carrie seemed to stop, her eyes filled with tears, now she took my hands in hers and began to cry convulsively. I hugged her. When she calmed down, she continued to look away, and then quietly asked, “Please don’t ask me that question again. It is terribly hard and painful for me, because the problem is not in you, but in me. I know that it’s hard with me, and I don’t want to torture you. I love you and hate you because I’m torturing you…” In response, I just hugged her again.
We stood. We have not been so close for a long time, I already forgot how Carrie smells … I felt that I still love.
I gently took her chin to look straight into her eyes. “I will still ask you this question because I love you,” I said. How can I make your day better? «That’s what I should be asking you.» “I should, but not now. Now I want to change. You should know how much you mean to me.» Carrie laid her head on my chest once more and quietly said, «I’m sorry I acted so horribly.» «I love you,» I said. “And I love you,” she replied. How can I make your day better? Carrie looked at me affectionately, “Maybe we could be together for a while? Just you and me». I smiled, «I would really like that!» I kept asking for over a month. And relationships have changed. The quarrels have stopped. Then the wife began to ask: “What would you like me to do? How can I be the best wife for you?”
The wall between us has collapsed. We began to talk — openly, thoughtfully — about what we want from life and how we can make each other happier. No, we did not solve all our problems at once. I can’t even say that we never fought again. But the nature of our fights has changed. They began to happen less and less, as if they lacked the evil energy that was before. We deprived them of oxygen. Neither of us wanted to hurt the other anymore.
Over time, I realized that our story was an illustration of a much more important lesson about marriage. The question «How can I make your day better?» worth asking everyone who is in a relationship. This is true love. Love stories usually boil down to love yearning and “they lived happily ever after,” but “happily ever after” is not born out of a desire to possess and belong to a loved one. In real life, love is not about wanting someone, but sincerely and deeply wishing them happiness—sometimes even to the detriment of our own.
I’m not sure what helped Carrie and me will help everyone. Don’t know. I’m not even sure everyone needs to save their marriage. But I still quite smile when I think back to those days and that wonderful, such a simple question. It’s been more than a decade since then, but still every once in a while one of us turns to the other and asks, «How can I make your day better?» And that makes me happy.