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Hello my dear readers. How often in a conversation with this or that person do you catch yourself thinking: “How I would like to know what you really think …”? But each of us can learn to guess other people’s thoughts. For those who want to acquire such an ability as eye reading, psychology offers a special section of knowledge. It’s called the psychology of the eyes.
I am sure that each of us dreams of reading other people’s thoughts and understanding people from a “half-look”. This would avoid many mistakes in communication and save a lot of time.
For psychologists, the eye is not just an organ of vision. «Science of the Soul» considers them as part of the human brain, which nature saw fit to bring out, put on public display. And here the aphorism immediately comes to mind: “The eyes are the mirror of the soul.” There’s something about it! Let’s figure out what exactly.
To see the feelings, just look closely
The whole trick is that the eyes react very actively to the thoughts of a person, his internal state. This is a kind of screen on which our emotions are broadcast — whether we like it or not.
It turns out that in order to understand what the interlocutor is experiencing at one time or another and what he is thinking about, it is enough just to closely follow his gaze and correctly interpret each change. Pupils give a lot of information. What they can tell us:
- expansion — sincere surprise, amazement;
- narrowing — anger, indignation, hostility;
- erratic movement — lies, pretense;
- immobility — detachment, withdrawal into oneself, internal dialogue.
Observation of the pupils is almost a jeweler’s business. It can reveal the most subtle feelings and thoughts of a person. So an attentive man (on a subconscious level, of course) understands that a woman is in love with him, even if she tries to hide it with her whole appearance.
However, in each specific situation, it is also important to take into account external factors. After all, the cause of changes can be a purely physiological reaction of the pupil: from bright light or physical pain, it narrows, in the dusk it expands.
Just don’t take your eyes off or the ABC of the look
Look in my eyes! Why are you looking away? Didn’t even blink an eye! All these expressions are, of course, familiar to you. And all of them are directly related to situations where a person is lying or, on the contrary, telling the truth. We often use this elementary life experience “on the machine”. But in science it is a whole system of knowledge. And here are its main points.
If a person in the process of communication looks into your eyes, this is a very good sign. An open «childish» look indicates that he is interested in the conversation. However, if he does not take his eyes off for too long, here, most likely, the “rabbit in front of a boa constrictor” effect works: the person is scared, does not trust you, but tries not to give it away.
Brief and intermittent eye contact is a sign that your opponent is not interested in the topic of conversation, he does not experience any vivid emotions and remains indifferent. If the interlocutor does not look into the eyes at all, then this conversation does not interest him in principle.
A lowered look is a sign of embarrassment, internal discomfort, a desire to stop discussing the topic. True, if you are communicating with a guest from the East, you should not misunderstand this sign: it is considered normal to look down during communication there.
A look directed upwards … No, this is not a sign of a sublime and romantic nature. On the contrary, the interlocutor treats you or the subject of conversation contemptuously and sarcastically. It is likely that he is annoyed, but out of condescension continues to communicate. You need it?
True or False: Read the Eyes
Eyes running around … A well-known sign of lies. But popular wisdom generalizes too much. The psychology of lies (it turns out that there is such a branch of science) approaches this point in more detail and ascribes different meanings to each separate direction of view. NLP also operates with this knowledge and offers the following scheme for “calibrating” lies:
- up left — a person remembers what really happened, tries to visually present the subject of the conversation or the answer to the question;
- up right — dreams, fantasizes, draws a visual image in his thoughts, thinks about what is not in reality;
- left — creates or reproduces sound images in the mind: other people’s statements, judgments, phrases, melody, noise;
- to the right — the interlocutor selects the right words, weighs each phrase so as not to offend or reveal his awkward position;
- down left — absorbed in his own thoughts, withdrawn into himself, solves a difficult task or engages in introspection;
- down right — recalls what he experienced and actually felt, restores his feelings in memory.
In the article “NLP what it is and how it will help you right now”, I already gave a decoding of this abbreviation and described this technique. I recommend reading.
We make all such movements unconsciously, therefore, in order to learn how to control the movement of the gaze during the conversation, a considerable effort of will will be required. I will add: if the object of your observations is left-handed, you will have to turn the described coordinate system by 180 degrees so that “left” becomes “right” and vice versa.
Color Matters: Choosing an Eye Partner
Some scientists have gone even further and established a connection between eye color and a person’s character. Research data showed a pattern. Here are the results of observations that will be of particular interest to those who are «in active search»:
- blue-eyed — romantic and dreamy personalities, sentimental and vindictive;
- blue-eyed — emotional and sensual, eccentric and unpredictable, often arrogant, arrogant;
- owners of light gray eyes — decisive, independent, stubborn;
- black-eyed — strong and persistent nature, stubborn and wayward, sometimes even quick-tempered;
- green-eyed — strict, fair, born leaders;
- people with gray-green eyes — strong, strong-willed, purposeful, cruel and at the same time caring;
- owners of light brown eyes are secretive individuals with developed intuition, shy and dreamy, responsible and independent;
- brown-eyed people are witty, sensual and charismatic, temperamental, quick-tempered, but quick-witted;
- the dark blue color of the iris speaks of arrogance, conflict and intolerance.
The ability to read people’s thoughts through their eyes, as well as knowledge of body language and gestures, gives us unlimited possibilities.
Conclusion
Without any superpowers and myelophones. The application of this knowledge in life will help you quickly establish contact with the interlocutor, be more convincing and, as a result, more successful. Both in personal life and in business.
“For the benefit of the cause,” I tried to summarize the research data as much as possible and talk about them in a simple and accessible language. I will be glad to your comments and recommendations in social networks. Subscribe to blog updates and ask your questions.
Look into the eyes of the interlocutor, be open. This is a very big plus, to your karma. Yours sincerely