«What should I do with my life?» is a frightening question for many teenagers. Psychologist Vicki Zakrzewski has worked with other researchers to develop a set of exercises that help teenagers find their calling. Those who successfully completed all the tasks were asked to write an essay about their experience. Based on these stories, she identified 4 key principles for finding a life purpose.
1. Search inside
No one else can tell a teenager what his calling is. Parents, teachers or friends will not help here. It is important that the teenager himself analyzes his values and strengths, the picture of the ideal world and the image of himself in the future, for example, at 40 years old. Reflection on these topics stimulates reflection and self-knowledge, which helps to find purpose in life.
Here is what Tyler, the organizer of the Festival of Hope, which helps 5,5 people in need, writes in an essay: “In one of the tests, I was asked to rate the statement “it is very important for me to help others.” Then I replied that this statement is exactly about me. That test marked the beginning of my journey. Working on the festival gives a sense of purpose in life, but I want to achieve more. The global challenge is to solve world-class problems such as hunger and poverty.”
2. Try
25% of teenagers have a rough idea of what they would like to do in life. The problem is they don’t know how to approach it. Adults can help in this situation. Give them the opportunity to try new activities, this will allow them to explore different areas of interest. Also help develop entrepreneurial skills.
Mariah set off on her path to her goal when she accompanied her grandmother to a doctor’s appointment: “I sat in the waiting room, leafing through medical brochures and looked at the doctors in white huts with admiration. For me, they were examples of beauty, health and professionalism. I dreamed of being just like them. However, my grandmother had a different opinion. She thought the doctors weren’t taking good care of her because she had dark skin.»
An equally important question is who do you want to be?
This experience prompted Mariah to volunteer at the hospital. She then went to medical school and is now doing her own research. Mariah studies the genetic characteristics of African Americans and their impact on the likelihood of developing cancer.
Here is how she explains her choice: “The poor level of competence of doctors in the field of social, cultural and ethnic differences, as well as the lack of research on the health of African Americans, motivated me to become a doctor and researcher. I want to work for my people and help them. By my example, I want to prove that there are competent doctors who are attentive to the cultural and ethnic characteristics of African Americans and are always ready to help them.”
3. Think who to be
We usually think about what we would like to do. But an equally important question is who do you want to be? Exploring their identity, teenagers try on different roles and try to find their place in the world. They are assisted in this process by various activities related to their potential vocation. Getting involved in these activities allows you to realize which of their skills can help the world. Ultimately, through this, they learn what is most important to them.
The trip to El Salvador taught Devon to love: “I have never seen such love as in El Salvador in the USA. These people treat the environment with the same care and concern. Many times I heard them say: the earth feeds us, we must treat it with respect. Traveling to El Salvador taught me how to approach people of a different culture. You need to treat them with respect and not think that you are saving them. You are just trying to work with them to help. You are not trying to change their society. You try to help it so that it can develop and flourish on its own.”
The more social contacts, the more chances to find a calling
Summing up her experience, Devon wrote in an essay: “My goal is to love. Hobbies show directions where you need to give love. My experiences and experiences teach how to love.”
4. Ask for help
Strong social connections help find purpose. A mentor can guide a teenager in the right direction, support and inspire. It will suffice to tell how he found the goal and how he moved in this direction. Other acquaintances with whom children cross paths in everyday life can also inspire them to new thoughts and unexpected ways of development. The more social contacts a teenager has, the more chances he has to find his calling.
Liam admits that he used to have stereotypical ideas about people of Islamic culture. But then he met a girl from Tunisia, who became his close friend and helped him look at the world differently. But Liam found his calling a little later, in France. He was in Nice for a Bastille Day celebration when a truck drove into a crowd of people: “We were passing there with the class. Fortunately, none of us were physically hurt, but we all left there with deep spiritual wounds. After this event, mass Islamophobia began, and this worried me very much. Yes, a Muslim was driving that truck. But my friend was also a Muslim, and countless Muslims died on the street that day. I knew that Muslims suffered no less than everyone else. You can’t blame their religion for this event. The Islamophobia that erupted after that incident made me think: how can such prejudices be eradicated?” Now Liam wants to become a member of the Foreign Service to fight ethnic fears and stereotypes.