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How can a child answer the awkward question “Where do children come from?”
In the life of all parents, a period inevitably comes when they have to answer the questions of their growing children, including uncomfortable ones, for days on end. First of all, these are the classic “Where Do Children Come From?” and “What is sex?” How to answer, so as not to traumatize the child, devoting ahead of time to non-childish topics, but also to satisfy his interest, so that he does not look for an answer on the side: on TV, the Internet, or among older children? Katerina Suratova, an educational psychologist and psychoanalytically oriented therapist, author of trainings and seminars on yoga and psychotherapy, advises.
Trust in relationships with children is a great value!
The main thing is to stop in time
The main mistake parents make when it comes to sensitive topics is that they talk too much, as if they were talking to an adult. They dump on the child a lot of anatomical or fabulous information, which he simply cannot digest. The child’s questions are formed gradually, one follows from the other, and time passes until the child digests the answer and formulates the next question.
Speak simply and in monosyllables. Answer only what he has already asked. Before embarking on a lengthy explanation, make sure you have a request for it. Excessive information scares the child. She displaces details, leaving only the wrong impressions that will further define his adult sexuality.
Do not consider your child’s questions “awkward” and it will be easier for you to answer
Don’t underestimate a child’s intelligence and discernment. By the age of three, he had already noticed that something was happening in his parents’ bedroom from which he was excluded. Therefore, if you have been asked a specific question, do not shy away from the answer and do not play up. When you start talking about storks and cabbage, the child either does not believe you and speaks openly about it, or pretends to believe, but in fact only stops trusting you. His interest is growing. Now he will focus his attention more closely on the parent’s bedroom.
Leave room for imagination
You should not devote the child to the details of the intimate life of adults. The anatomical truth seen firsthand (peeped in the bedroom or on TV) traumatizes and terrifies children. In intercourse, even in the most tender erotic scene, they see aggression, not love. Thus, future ideas about one’s own sexuality are greatly distorted. Until a certain age, the baby should not be privy to subtleties. Normally, the child fantasizes, imagines and romanticizes the relationship of adults.
What do you think a child should think about his birth? And how should he see his own future relationship? The answer will be different for each family. I advise you to answer simply: “Children are born when two, a man and a woman, love and respect each other very much. Then they begin to live together, and after a while they have children. ” In a similar style, you can answer the question about sex: “Something very personal, tender that happens between two people who love each other and want to be together.” Psychologically, this is the best strategy if you want to both satisfy the child’s interest and instill in him a healthy attitude towards family life and sexuality.
As for the anatomical facts, if the child is already ready to digest them (closer to school age), there are special medical encyclopedias for children and adolescents. Do not be lazy to contact them.