We are used to thinking that “emotion” and “feeling” are synonymous words. But it is not so. Knowing what is the difference between them, we can quickly and clearly understand ourselves and others.
What do we experience when we are angry? Anger. Is our anger an emotion or a feeling? And pain, rage, joy, resentment – how can we call them? To answer this question, we need to listen to how we describe what is happening to us.
A seemingly simple phrase can have several meanings at once. For example, when we say, “I am grateful,” we can mean that we are grateful at this very specific moment. And we can keep in mind that we are grateful to someone (or something) in general, in general. In the same way, if we say “I am proud,” we can mean both pride in the moment and pride in someone or something in general.
To distinguish a feeling from an emotion, it is enough to ask ourselves whether we are experiencing some kind of experience at the present moment or whether it is deep, constant, it is always with us. Emotion is what happens to us here and now. The feeling lasts a long time and takes up much more space in our lives.
However, these concepts are interconnected: for example, there is an opinion that feeling is a complex, multi-component emotion. In addition, a feeling can cause different emotions, and certain feelings are hidden behind emotions. For example, love can be expressed not only through joy, but also through anger, annoyance, surprise.
What’s the difference?
There are several signs that describe the difference between emotions and feelings.
- Emotions arose earlier in the process of evolution, and therefore both people and animals can experience them. Emotions originate in an ancient part of the brain, the limbic system. Whereas feelings arose later and are peculiar only to man. They are the product of a newer part of the brain, the neocortex, and are associated with the ability to think.
- Emotions are changeable, short-term and quickly replace each other. Feelings that arise as a result of growing emotional experiences are stable and permanent, therefore they can “live” in a person for many years.
- While an emotion is tied to a situation, a feeling is related to an object. For example, when your sister took your earrings without asking, then her act (that is, the situation in which you found yourself) made you furious. But in general you love your sister, therefore, the sister is the object of your feelings.
- Emotions are physiological processes that are accompanied by bodily reactions. When we rejoice, the heart beats faster, the face burns, the eyes shine. Feelings, on the contrary, are hidden inside us and are manifested by different emotions, that is, indirectly, and not directly. Therefore, you can talk about a feeling, but physically show it will not work.
- Unlike feelings, emotions are not always conscious. “Everything fluttered in me!” – what is behind this phrase? Anxiety? Passion? Excitement? Fear? But love, hatred, envy, happiness, pride, we usually recognize. Although sometimes we are so ashamed of our feelings that we hide them even from ourselves.
- We cannot experience two different emotions at the same time. But two feelings – we can. That is, we are capable of hating and loving a person at the same moment, but we are not able to rejoice and be sad.
How to recognize your feelings
It is generally accepted that there is a standard set of emotions – anger, sadness, fear, disgust, interest and joy. And that each of them corresponds to a certain type of brain activity. According to neuroscientist Lisa Barrett, we distinguish one emotion from another not only by differences in physiological responses, but also by context and personal experience.
Depending on the circumstances, we may call our reaction “surprise” at one moment and “fear” at another. But how can we learn to better understand ourselves and our reactions?
Here are some tips to make it better and better:
- Expand your vocabulary of emotions so that you can feel the important differences between them.
- Try the “grounding” technique: bring your attention to your feet and focus on the sensations. Are they warm or cold? What is the surface underneath? So your body “learns” to distinguish and reactions to a particular emotion.
- Talk about your feelings, don’t show them. But don’t limit yourself to general statements like “I feel great” or “I feel terrible.” Connect the whole variety of the emotional spectrum. Talk about peace, and discouragement, and annoyance, and trembling.
By noticing the difference between feelings and emotions, you will be able to better understand what is happening to you and will be able to better understand others. And these skills will always be useful to those who want to build warm and trusting relationships with others.