How and why psychologists work with abusers

We call these people abusers, tyrants, tormentors. And in the professional environment, the term “author of violence” has stuck with them. This is what psychologists call a person who used violence in a relationship, realized the problem and is ready to work on behavior change. This name allows you not to put the stigma of an abuser on a person and gives him the opportunity to work through his problems in a supportive environment.

This does not mean that his actions are forgiving, that they turn a blind eye to them. It only means that the specialist supports the one who turned to him for help and refuses stigma.

HOW ARE THE PROGRAMS FOR WORKING WITH WORLD VIOLENCE AUTHORS?

Such programs appeared at the end of the XNUMXth century in the United States, and then spread to Australia, Canada, Europe and a number of developing countries. Most often, participants work in groups where they discuss gender roles and learn skills such as coping with stress and anger, taking responsibility for their actions, and providing emotional support to others.

In the United States, for example, there are about one and a half thousand such programs – and not only voluntary ones. Under US law, first-time offenders must attend rehab involuntarily.

A US study shows that most abusers who go through such programs remain “physically non-aggressive” for two years. However, between a third and a half of the participants never complete the course.

WHEN DOES AN ABUSER SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST?

The request to change abusive behavior in Russia appeared about three years ago, says Tatyana Orlova, a psychologist and co-founder of the “Neterpi” center, which provides consultations for victims of abuse and authors of violence.

According to her, the author of violence becomes aware of the problematic behavior of his behavior at the moment when this strategy stops working or its consequences become too severe.

At the same time, 95% of people have abusive mechanisms, but they are expressed to varying degrees, Orlova believes. In addition, people have different thresholds of sensitivity to violence – it depends on the social norm that was adopted in their environment.

HOW DOES PSYCHOLOGICAL WORK WITH THE AUTHOR OF VIOLENCE BEGIN?

The specialist needs to find out if there really is a problem of abuse in the family. According to Tatyana Orlova, due to the large amount of information about violence that has recently appeared in the media, there is a problem of overdiagnosis, when any unacceptable (but not necessarily violent!) behavior is called abuse. And at the preliminary consultation, you need to find out how the relationship works and what really happens in the family.

“Sometimes it happens that a person labels himself as the author of violence, takes responsibility for absolutely everything, but when communicating with a consultant, it turns out that the violence is mutual or that what he perceived as violence is a deep misunderstanding, while there really is abuse, but the person does not label it as such.

It rarely turns out that there is no violence, but there is a violation of communication between partners,” notes Naira Parsadanyan, counseling psychologist on domestic violence issues.

STRATEGIES FOR WORKING WITH THE AUTHOR OF VIOLENCE

As Tatyana Orlova emphasizes, a systematic model is used in working with the author of violence. The therapist allows him to see his own contribution to the cyclic process of abuse. The client is then asked to become aware of exactly what strategies are being triggered, how their anger works, and to understand the point of helplessness.

Also, specialists use technologies for working with traumatic experiences and apply techniques that allow a person to develop a new image of himself and relationships. In working with a psychologist, the author of violence can take one of two positions:

1. The client is willing to take responsibility for the violence

If he understands that he is doing wrong, it is necessary to deal with the mechanism of abuse. As a rule, violence is a response to the helplessness that arises in a person in certain situations.

When the author of violence feels anxiety, he tries to influence his loved ones in order to prevent negative situations for himself. Orlova advises to track at what point helplessness arises, what it is connected with, and what actions this feeling pushes.

2. The client is not ready to admit the problem

If the author of violence does not fully understand what processes are going on inside him, it is necessary to fully investigate them. The work begins with helping a person see that he wants to move towards equal relationships, more respect and support, and the relationship model that exists now, and its negative impact on loved ones, does not suit him.

“A person realizes that he himself is not his own abusive strategies, that he is able to build equal relationships,” explains the psychologist.

HOW LONG DOES THERAPY TAKE?

The first successes can be noticed after about three to four months of classes with a psychologist, Orlova believes. But the duration of the work depends on how long the person uses the abuse. So, people who have been characterized by such behavior since childhood do not understand the consequences of their actions, they develop an explanatory concept (“My partner took me out, she herself is to blame”).

Often, the abuser’s behavior may be associated with extensive experience of traumatic recurring events. As a result, one problem may lead to another, and after it – another and another. Then a person develops a stable abusive mechanism that will take a long time to work with.

Parsadanyan adds that the number of sessions depends on many factors, the most important of which is the ability to change the destructive pattern of relationships. It is also important whether the person admits that he uses violence against loved ones, whether he considers this a problem and whether he wants to solve it.

It is necessary to consider whether the client can withstand the great tension that sometimes arises in the psychologist’s office – after all, a person is faced with a part of himself that he could deny for a long time.

“I always tell my clients that therapy lasts at least six months, and then everything depends on the capabilities of the psyche and the speed with which it is able to change,” summarizes Naira Parsadanyan.