Sometimes irascibility is just a way of life, a continuation of a temperamental character.
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When two temperamental men conduct illiterate negotiations, it is not surprising for them to flare up.
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The girl here is hot-tempered for nothing, and the boss is hot-tempered for good reason. That’s not how they talk to the boss.
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Hot temper is called emotional incontinence, explosive irritability, which is characteristic of temperamental people.
Hot temper is more often a male character trait. Women, especially those with a male gender, are also quick-tempered, but the female version of accusation is more often played out through the role of the Victim and usually occurs in the form of resentment or tantrums. Resentment and hysteria are female counterparts of irascibility.
Hot temper is considered a bad character trait, but this is not entirely true. There are two types of irascibility: irascibility is empty and irascibility is justified.
If a person often flares up, or even explodes “out of the blue”, without a serious reason, this is an empty temper, and this is really a bad habit. It is a habit, because no one is born hot-tempered, they become hot-tempered. Most often, these were emotional outbursts of the child, which were allowed by his parents (more often mothers and grandmothers) and to which the child was accustomed. Mothers do not like to fight with the child, they are supporters of persuading and distracting, so that everything goes by itself, and as a result, the child gets permission to yell as soon as he pleases. In a family where attentive parents combine warmth and the requirement of a format, there is no question of any irascibility of children.
Can this habit be corrected already in an adult? Yes, it is quite possible if there is support from others, and the person himself agrees to change this in himself and wants to change it. At the same time, the most effective are the most stringent measures: in the army, the domestic irascibility of recruits in the process of interaction with an experienced company commander is “treated” in the very first months. Outside the army, in the family and at work, empty irascibility goes away with difficulty, since it usually has certain internal benefits, and it is not always possible to force a person to control his psyches. However, the hot-tempered Zhirinovsky under V.V. Putine always finds a way to restrain himself…
If short temper is inherent in you, you can prevent and manage your outbursts of anger in a simple way. Your task is to sit down, relax, close your eyes and imagine the situation where you usually break down. However, this time you must present your behavior to others: calm, reasonable — the way you would like to see yourself. And that’s it! Imagine this new behavior of yours more often, and soon, where you tore and threw, you will behave quite reasonably. Check — such a simple method really turns out to be quite effective.
However, there is another, justified irascibility. The boss has the right to flare up if the employee violates the chain of command and does not respond to comments.
Likewise, if you ask your child to put away toys and he continues to play (“Now!”) without even turning his head towards you, you may move closer and ask him again to take your request seriously. But if he doesn’t react to this with anything other than a disgruntled face (“Well now!”) And you flared up, it’s not you who is quick-tempered, but the child needs to do what his parents ask him to do.
It’s the same in a married couple: you can’t just raise your voice at each other, but if you agreed on something, then the agreements should already be fulfilled. And if you were reminded once — you didn’t do it, the second time you were reminded — you forgot, then don’t be angry if they turn to you for the third time in a different tone.
If a person does not understand when he is being addressed calmly, he can be addressed correctly emotionally and in a raised voice. And this is no longer an empty temper, but an adequate reaction to those who do not respect others and are not attentive to normal treatment.
It is clear that you still don’t need to make noise and dust in a good way, so instead of lashing out over and over again at those who do not behave as they should, calmly talk with this person how you can still improve the situation. Perhaps some little help is needed on your part, sometimes a simple warning: “Now I will start screaming!”, And the issue can be resolved peacefully.