Honest crying is sincere, real crying, crying “because”, and not “for something”. This is crying for nothing, but because it is bad. In honest crying, the child did not come up with crying in order to get something from you, he cries because he is hurt or offended. He is not mom or dad, he cries to himself.
Honest crying is different from manipulative crying, where we will find attention crying, revenge crying, pressure crying. Sometimes these two cries are easy to distinguish … ↑
The main varieties (and functions) of honest crying are crying as a request for help, crying as a cure for pain, crying as a way to relieve tension, and crying as a habit. Usually in honest crying there is a little bit of all this, almost always such crying is both a request for help, and just a habit.
The nature of honest crying
Even the most honest cry is a learned behavior, not a natural, reflex response to pain. Honest crying is a former manipulative crying that has become a habit. This habit is considered natural in children and is usually reinforced by adults. «Cry, cry, it hurts!»
He felt bad, he cried to you. Since you approached the child when he started crying, you naturally reinforced his behavior. But even if you came up and helped, the “bad” did not always go away right away, and the child would cry more and more. Within a month, a connection was formed: “bad — you have to cry.” Within a month, a stable conditioned reflex is formed and just a habit: if I feel bad, I cry. The child has a sincere, honest cry, crying without a purpose, crying because …
How to treat honest crying?
How to treat honest crying? Is such a habit obligatory, is it possible to do without the formation of such a habit? Everything is possible, but how much is needed is an unclear question …
Is crying helpful? The question is not simple. Rather, yes, as a rule, yes, but everything is ambiguous. For children, girls and women, crying helps to relieve tension, stress↑, on the other hand, crying is a form of surrender, a form of surrender, and therefore is not acceptable for a male way of behavior.